Hello,

Because of the following:

I should add one thing, though. When I first found out about the affair, I only wanted to dump him. He begged me to go to counseling and I decided to go to a few sessions so I could dump him with a clear conscience. I ended up falling back in love with him and here I am almost 2 years later!


New marriage 2 yrs

I would really appreciate it if you could check out my post of "Want DV, but not the way you think" in the recovery forum.

I am every much interested in how you came up with the "New Marriage" deal.

Thank you.

wwl

bump, this got buried fast

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She states that the marriage can be rebuilt. I state no, but the relationship can be. I, to a certain degree believe the two are separate. I just feel that "our" marriage is over, and I am in a stalemate state of mind in the recovery process with this thought hanging out there.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Hi wrestling,

Sorry I did not see this sooner. My notation in my signature does not mean what you think it means. We did not remarry; I only put 'new marriage' to signify my most RECENT marriage to THIS MAN in 2000. I was divorced from my other H in 1999.

I agree with your thinking that your marriage needs to END - as it was. I would not have wanted to recover something that NEVER WAS. Like your marriage, mine was based on false pretenses. I did not know the man I was marrying. I want nothing to do with that marriage. [and inherent relationship]

Now, did we have to get a divorce to acheive that? No, we didn't. But our old marriage is symbolically dead BECAUSE our new, open, honest loving relationship has taken it's place. He changed, I changed. Once your marriage is filled with the good, it pushes out the bad. It can be done.

MelodyLane,

Thank you for responding. I was actually getting excited about your new marriage idea. I'm sorry for my confusion. I should have went back and looked at some of your other posts to get a better understanding of you.

I just saw those 2 things that I mentioned before and I got, like I said, excited to finally tell myself that OK, here is someone who can help.

Sorry again for the confusion on my part. But thanks again.

wwl