For those who don't know my story, here is a quick recap:

04/27 -- WW Walks out
05/01 -- Find out about WW's 2-year affair
05/01 thru 06/04 -- Really Plan A'ing, wanting to save my M, WW says A is over

06/04 -- WW files for DV, reiteriates no way
06/11 -- Served papers, Plan B implemented

07/01 -- Hire PI to be certain A is over, and want my M

07/02 -- First day on job, PI videos WW and OM together

07/02 thru 07/18 -- WW and OM steady. Decide NO more, and will give her DV. Plan on utilizing the PI, though, for "leverage".

07/19 -- Final contract day of PI. Plenty of evidence, just finishing up loose ends.

But......Today....07/19, discovered startling news from OMW. My PI contacted her as he and I were discussing our ending venture, to inform her of what he had found. We both felt that SHE needed to know for sure, too. (I had contacted her earlier at D-Day). OM and OMW were still together, as OMW was convinced it was "over" too. Well.....she found out differently, and we told her that we had the videoed evidence.

Then she totally SHOCKED both of us! OMW just found out she is pregnant by OM. OM knows too. But I bet WW doesn't. That is going to rip WW's mind out. DO the math....OMW gets pregnant AFTER WW leaves me to be with him (or so he "convinced" her).

Enough of that....Let me get to my point. I find myself ( I REALLY DO ) feeling more sorry for OMW than WW. Although I can say that I still love my WW, I feel uneasy in that OMW's condition, both emotionally and physically is more disturbing to me than what I KNOW my WW is going to feel like. Maybe the "you asked for it" syndrome is causing me to feel this way about the WW. I don't really know. I do know that I could in no way "revenge" her any more than this will.

I found that in all the pain, anger, hurt, even all the revenge that I wanted, that I could still have sympathy. Sympathy for someone innocent. I had begun to think that maybe my heart was getting a little "too" hard, but now I know it isn't so. I still have respect for other people, even ones that "trigger" certain emotions in me. I am at the point of being more concerned with OMW (I've never met her), than WW.

Isn't it ironic that a WS can "hang themselves" with the very same rope you cut then "loose" from?

hcii

What an amazing turn of events, hcii. I too feel sorry for OMW, what a fix she is in! Do you have plans to tell your wife about her pregnancy? Was the OMW shocked to discover that the affair was still on? By the way, I think it was real decent of you to share your facts with her. That shows real compassion on your part.

WOW!

WOW, WOW!

WOW, WOW, WOW!

There's always something to blow the doors off these things, aren't there? Sometimes it takes longer than others, but in your case, things certainly have been moving at a break-neck speed.

I can see your point about feeling bad for OMW. When I think that my situation is bad, I just need to remind myself that there's others in worse shape (e.g. having kids while in the midst of this)... Sounds like you're doing alright... that whole dignity thing cannot be understated...

hcii:

Gee whillikers!!! Man, you ought to SELL this story to Hollywood... ...never mind, they've already done it.

Next thing will be OMW hires PI to tail OM. Finds OM having multiple As all over town, with li'l OM Jr.s in tow...

Very sad. What makes people do the $h!t that they do?

Strange IS truther than fiction!

<small>[ July 20, 2002, 07:51 PM: Message edited by: 2long ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Finds OM having multiple As all over town, with li'l OM Jr.s in tow... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">2Long,

That has already been rumored, and there is some circumstantial evidence to that effect. As a matter of fact, I told the WW this in the Pre-DV, last resort letter that Jennifer suggested. WW wouldn't believe any of it, though.

I wonder how he is going to "explain" to my WW (actually STBXW) this one. I bet that he hasn't told her of this, because according to the OMW, the time frame was AFTER the WW left me.

I don't really think that a man has plans on leaving his wife, and having "additions" to the family at the same time.

Boy.....Did my WW get snowed or what?

J.R., talk about a WOW.....one of the circumstantial evidences was that he tried and tried to get my SISTER to go out with him. Of course this was before I found out about the WW leaving me for the OM. After confiding in my family (6 sisters, no brothers) and going to them for comfort, that was when my Sister said that the OM's name and job (UPS driver) rang a bell with her. That was when she put it together and was STUNNED to say the least.

Anyway......

2Long & J.R.,

I follow your posts with much dedication. Hang in there. If you can reconcile and save your marriages, then good for both of you. I have pretty well given up on mine. There is still a SLIGHT chance that WW would come out of the fog, but now she has to really, really, do some HEAVY convincing that she REALLY wants our M. Even then, I probably would actually suggest us going on with the DV, and maybe starting anew. Our old marriage is shot to h3ll. Then, if after a period of time things change, here in KY you can have a DV annulled as long as you haven't re-married.

2Long & J.R.,

Remember this....A bad marriage is worse than no marriage. All three of us know that there are things we NEED to be happy in our marriage. Those are the things that as strong, decent, and moral people that we CANNOT and MUST NOT compromise in order to ease our pain.

Pain and hurt WILL ease after time. Maybe not totally, but it will be bearable. NEVER sacrifice your self-respect. We all know right from wrong, and must act accordingly. Then, and only then, have we become the winners, no matter the outcome.

Stay strong my fellow friends. You both have sacrificed more, even in a turmoiled state, than most people will in their lifetime. There will come a day that you will be rewarded for your efforts.

I truly believe that for myself. So I have to believe that for you, also.

hcii

Thought I'd chime in and second this thought. Many of us here have made enormous sacrifices for our Ms and I think, if anything, we have MORE compassion now than we did before. And indeed, I believe we will all somehow be rewarded one day.

Thanks for the thought, HCII.

hcii:

Well, I hope that you also learned today that you've got a pile of good friends here, too.

Thanks for your kind words. In my case, I can still remember what a wonderful person my W was before she got fogged over 12 years ago. It kills me to think that it is entirely possible that this A went on for so long (2long) that there's no chance for us. I can't get that thought out of my head. And then there's the part of me that clings to the hope. And I REMEMBER that H4F said that it's OKAY for me to HOPE. And so, even though I'm an atheist, I can understand hope, morality, ethics, love and compassion and apply those values in my efforts to restore my M to what it was 26 years ago. My W is STILL a wonderful mother, and can still be a caring person, so long as that selfish and spiteful side of her that wants to be 'cloned' for Rat Meat doesn't dominate all the time (and it has, the last couple of weeks for me, at least).

I'm going to hold out with my hope, but I'm going to work for myself for the next few months. Got a lot of fascinating projects coming up that will take a lot of my time and attention. My remaining attention I want to spend talking to my kids (my D remotely over the internet and my son on the phone and at the flying field with his RC plane).

Lots to live and be happy for. Can be a lot more, too, if some people would just WAKE THE F*** UP!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />