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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 131
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OP
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 131 |
This really doesn't have anything to do with infidelity, but I really trust and all of your experience and opinions.
I have a friend who wants to break up with her boyfriend of 2 years. She says he is the man she wants to marry, but he is not ready to commit. She tells him about once every 5 days not to call her anymore. She tells him she doesn't want to hear from him anymore...that she doesn't want to live this way.
But, as soon as he calls, they fight for a while, and then he comes over, spends the night (no SF), and everything is a-okay in his eyes. However, she is not happy.
She tells me that she knows she wants to spend her life with him, but she is so unhappy.
HELP!!!!
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 131
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OP
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 131 |
bump, bump, bumpity, bump
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 131
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OP
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 131 |
I talked to my friend today. She told her boyfriend that it was over last night. She saw a friend today that she has had a "crush" on, and he asked if they could have supper together on Thursday. She's really excited, but yet feels guilty.
Then, her boyfriend called and left her about 10 messages in about 1 hour that she was at my house. So, she called him back...he came over to her house...and is staying the night.
She is so confused!!
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 131
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OP
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 131 |
Just bumping so that maybe I can hear some of your wisdom.
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 187
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Joined: Apr 2002
Posts: 187 |
Has your friend talked to her BF about her feelings. Truly sat down and had a "heart to heart" about where they are going in their relationship?
She wants to marry him/spend the rest of her life with him but wants a break from him right now to date someone else? Is that contradictory?
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 110
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Joined: Dec 2001
Posts: 110 |
Do you REALLY believe there's no SF?
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 131
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OP
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 131 |
amhurt,
There haven't been SF in the past 3 months. She's told him that she is not going to do it until they are married. He's even told me that, so I believe it.
aanast2,
She has told her BF over and over again. He is so wishy-washy...one day he says he understands, the next day he doesn't. Yes, she is contradictory, too. I don't know how I can help her.
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 131
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OP
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 131 |
I'm begging for more advice, please.
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 131
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OP
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 131 |
Last night, friend met a guy at another friend's house. They flirted and kissed. I told her that she was cheating on her boyfriend. She says that she was not, because she has broken up with him 15 times in the past 3 months, and they've never "gotten back together". However, she called BF many times yesterday, and was making plans to see him today. Oh, what a web we weave.
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 61
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Joined: Jun 2001
Posts: 61 |
This sounds to me like an abusive relationship. She wants to get away but then he sweet talks her into staying. It's an endless cycle. Check any of Patricia Evan's books or www.verbalabuse.com for more info. But if she can be taught the MarriageBuilder's principles, she would see this relationship is not healthy and she would then know to leave for good. Hope this helps some.
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