For all of you who have listened to me talk about my son Andrew, who passed away in his sleep on September 11, 2000, I wanted to share with you the latest information.

On Thursday July 18th, my MIL and I met with the Regional Coroner for Southwestern Ontario (Dr. Wilson) to review Andrew's coroners report. The final paperwork had only just been received on July 12th (that's almost 22 MONTHS to the day of Andrew's death!!!!!!!).

Anyways.... the official cause of death is "UNDETERMINED". <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> They just don't have a clue. They thought it might have had something to do with Andrew's heart, but that lead was based on a transcription error. There are dozens of POSSIBLE reasons, but there isn't enough evidence to support those reasons to be PROBABLE. Of course, there is always the probability that years from now, there will be similar cases that allow for answers to be found due to common links.... but we're not counting on that.

I'm torn on my feelings about this "undetermined" outcome. I've based my healing on the assumption that we may never find out 'why' Andrew died, and I've considered how awful I would feel if whatever happened was preventable. I guess you could say that I'm almost happy that this is just over with (for the most part).

There are very few more steps to be taken now, before we can put this behind us, and work more efficiently at our future with our other 3 boys.

Due to the questions surrounding Andrew's heart, we are in the process of getting cardiograms set up for all of us, as well as sleep disorder tests (sleep apnea). And finally, we have forms to request that the Ontario Adoption agency (???) find my H's birth parents, to find out whether or not there may have been any similar deaths to children in their families.

Needless to say, this whole ordeal has done quite a number on our M, and is still affecting our recovery. I can hardly wait to get it all behind us - if that's even possible. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

I guess that's all I can share on this for now. Any other information is basically details of the autopsy and toxicology. Thanks again for "listening".

Karen

Hi, Topie,

I'm sorry I don't know your situation, but just wanted to say I'm sorry for what you and your family is going through! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

God bless!

Hugs and prayers for you Topie,
Cali

{{topie25}},

I believe that you responded to one of my posts regarding some of the emotions that my WW may be going through right now regarding the loss of her 10 yr old son 14yrs ago.

I can only imagine the pain that you must still feel.

One of the most helpful things that my wife did for herself at the time and for years to come was to get together with a support group called "The Compassionate Friends.

http://www.compassionatefriends.org/

You can find their website at the link above.

TCFCanada@aol.com

Or email them at the link above, to find out where in your area in Canada there might be a chapter

If they have a chapter in your area, I would greatly encourage you to go. If not, maybe consider starting one up yourself. I think that like this board there is strength in talking and sharing with someone that has gone through what you have. I will tell you that like anything else, it will take more than one visit to see or feel anything. I believe that they have national conventions and things like that also.

Best Wishes and God Bless

<small>[ July 22, 2002, 09:45 PM: Message edited by: Biscayne ]</small>

Dear Topie,

Finding closure is hard. Even more so now. It is difficult to know what to say that will help you and your family.

Please know that you are in our thoughts and prayers.

Hugz,
L.

Karen,
Thanks for posting and letting us all know!

My thoughts and prayers continue with your family.

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I can't pretend to imagine your pain. I am so sorry, and glad this is at least a closing point for another juncture in your journey to recovery.

Pamper you, and take care of your family. Hugs, HONEY <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

So sorry for your pain. It is so hard to find closure when you haven't found the answers to your questions.

Take care of yourself and your family.

Max

Hi,
I am very sorry for your pain. I'm sorry that I don't know what else to say.

{{{{{{{{Karen}}}}}}}}

Thought of you & Andrew when I had chocolate cake on my bday.

Thank you everyone, for your warm thoughts and well wishes. I apologize for not getting back online any sooner than this evening, but we've been busy around the house. I have my 12 yr old niece here for another week, and we're trying to keep her from getting too bored! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Free2Bme: Thank you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Cali: I hope all is going well with you too. (did you know that everytime I have PMS, I think of you? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> )

Biscayne: Yes, I did reply to one of your posts regarding your W's son. I very much appreciate your offer for info to compassionate friends. However, I'm already involved in a grieving support group here in London. It's called "Bereaved Families of Ontario", and it's helped me a lot. Thanks again.

Orchid: There really isn't much anyone can say. It's quite a sad situation. Thanks for being around to listen to me.

daybreak: And thanks to you too, for being here for me (especially as of late! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> )

Honey: Hmmmm... pamper me, huh? Good idea! I haven't been doing enough of plan Aing to myself lately. Thanks for the reminder. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Feeling So Alone: Closure? What's that? (grin). Actually, I never expected to find an answer. It's helped me with my healing too (b/c I'm not disappointed).

Sue with hope: As I wrote to Orchid, there isn't really anything anyone can say. Thank you for your thoughts though. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Sing: I knew you'd remember about the chocolate cake!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> The invitation for all still stands: Chocolate cake on October 25th to celebrate Andrew's birthday!!! And a happy belated birthday to you too!

Take care all,

Karen