Okay folks…

Got an e-mail from WW this morning…

“Hi. I just want you to know. I'm still fighting. I'm still trying. I think about you alot. I hope you are well.
WW”

I believe this was probably inspired by our meeting on the 17th (our anniversary). Yes, get out the MB 2x4 and smack me – we had contact. And my inclination is to provide a brief reply to this message.

A part of it is in “knowing” WW… she’s the type to view silence as rejection – doesn’t “get it” much, so a short response is likely valid. It also speaks to the fact that one of her “complaints” from the past is I’ve been emotionally “unavailable” – so going completely dark likely only feeds her own justifications – makes it easier for her.

Am I rationalizing? If I am, talk to Steve. He was the one who initially questioned how to tailor my Plan B.

(Not to mention, I think the anniversary meeting provided some very positive reinforcement for her, seeing me doing well on my own.)

So I think something short and sweet might be good. I think it also would be good to continue what I’ve started – by pushing her down the path of uncertainty about where I’m at… that more than anything appears to be on her mind lately…

Here’s a draft of my response…

“Hi,

Thanks for the kind words.

I did value the time together, but I also have to admit that it’s set back my “recovery” a bit, being around you, but knowing your heart is so divided. It’s all very hard. And it’s reinforced in my mind why I’m at the point where I am, and why we probably should maintain some distance… so I need to point back to my last couple of letters, once again. It’s difficult for me to see you while trying to get my own stuff together, “process” my own feelings, decide what I’m going to do next, try my best to maintain my remaining love as long as I can, etc. I apologize for creating any kind of false expectations, such as by our kiss. I feel like a jerk for it, really.

You take care too!
Love,
J.R.”

I posed this in the form of a poll, too… if you’ve got opinions, there’s another way to voice ‘em!

Well, J.R.? I'm pretty green when it comes to this plan B stuff, so I'm probably not the one to ask. Heck, you know: I keep wanting to write tomes of text to my W telling her everything I think of about every message she sends me, but the MB troopers talk me down. I guess I'm still so deep in the early withdrawal stage that it's all I can do to keep from running out to my car, driving the hour to my W's workplace, and hugging the living snot out of her when I get there.

I want to take away all of the pain we BOTH feel, but I can't even start until she deals ends her relationship with Rat Meat, once and for all.

Oh. Got off topic. I'd send what you wrote if it were me, minus the "jerk" remark. Don't demean yourself.

How about:

"Thanks, I appreciate you are still trying. I am still working on my own issues, so please, lets keep our distance. You are still divided, and that only sets back my recovery too."

Ooooh, that's very good ALW.

I do think some response might be in order, JR, so you make sure you don't come off as playing games (contact when you feel like it etc...).

J.R.,

Don't go there unless there is a concrete willingness to work on M. Leave it alone, she knows what need to get done ... stop A and work on M ... don't reply if you don't want to get hurt. -RH-