I was told by a co-worker yesterday that another co-worker is spreading rumors that "something" is going on between me and another guy at work!! What to do? What to do? Help me oh great people of wisdom!!!

What I've already done:

I immediately came home and told my husband about the rumor. He asked me repeatedly if there was any truth to it, and after about the 5th time he said he believed me and no further questions. Later in the evening I was explaining to him how vindicative this gossiping co-worker is and how jealous he is of the guy I'm supposedly having a "thing" with, and my H finally says, "Look, I believe you, there is no further need to discuss it, if I hear the rumors I will not believe them, so let's drop it." So I have.

Now what should I do? After my H's A with a co-worker I've begun pulling back from some of the guys I work with as I can see how things can develop when you let work relationships grow. So I've tried already to be more reserved, not so flirtatious (if that's the right word, maybe I should say "outgoing" or "friendly"). Should I tell my boss about the rumors as we live in a small town, and this kind of talk will do nothing but tarnish my reputation and make recovery even HARDER than it has already been? (the gossiping co-worker doesn't know about my Hs A to my knowledge). Should I confront the gossiping co-worker? Should I discuss it with my accused "partner in crime"?

My H's only request was that I not "play" with the guys at work. Try to keep things to business only. And that's what I'll try to do going forward (even though we don't "play", we do have a lot of free time to talk and such). Should I tell this accused "partner in crime" my H's wish before adopting a change of attitude toward him? I can guarantee you if I give him nothing but a cold shoulder, he'll want to know why. And when he finds out about the gossiping co-worker, the sh*t is going to hit the fan!!!

HELP!!

I think you should confront the gossiping coworker and I think you should tell the guy ONLY if he asks why the change But don't blame your H. Just say about the rumor so you want to keep things on a professional level only. You don't have to give him the cold shoulder just keep chit chat short, to a minimum but polite.

OH my! The things people will do. I would definitely confront the rumor bearer. He doesn't deserve any kindness. Good luck, and keep us posted.

Well, I discussed it with my "partner in crime." I explained to him that a 3rd party could press sexual harassment charges, and that was enough for him to agree to business only with no hard feelings. He also said he'd talk to my H and tell him nothing had gone on, but I told him I didn't think that was necessary. He then apologized for any problems this rumor might cause to my marriage. I told him not to worry about it, that everything would be alright. He wasn't in the wrong, the gossipping co-worker was.

Then I mentioned it to my boss, in a layed back way - not trying to get the guy in trouble yet, but in order to give my boss a "head's up" to the situation. I did tell him that if I heard it on the street that I would be furious. (haven't heard it there yet, and I've got my ears open).

Then I found out later that the co-worker that told me about the rumor had also shared it with the gossiping co-worker's boss. His boss said he was totally out of line, but is going to let it ride with hopes that it won't cause me any trouble.

So, we'll wait and see.

Under what circumstances should I confront this rumor starter?

I would have already confronted the scum bucket. Good luck.