I am upset again today..WS is still being mean and I am at the end of my rope...I am feeling a Divorce...maybe then, all this drame will end and I will no longer except anything from him..I am so tired of letting him control my moods...I am on Plan B and I only speak to him when it is concerning the kids..which is the cause of my mood...he pays a little of nothing for child support but think I am suppose to be content with that..he teels me that he has his own bills..well, that was his choice!!! I am struggling trying to make ends mean, living pay check to pay check and I am very frustrated...

Someone, pls help, give me some encouragement or something...PLS HELP??? <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" />

Tachina,

I am sorry that you are having a bad day, please know that it will get better, I am having a pretty good day or should I say days, I was in you same situation only a couple of weeks ago, but my WS continued to take care of the kids(give him credit for that)because he knew I could not do it by myself and he did not want me to go to the courts either.

All I can say is for you to work on yourself and try not to let him control your moods, this gives him power that he does not need, do you have a journal? if so you might think about one, so that you can write down all of your feelings, I am getting one today.

It will get better, Just believe it will.

talk to you later

Heartaches, thanks, I bought a small tape recorder that I use to record all my feelings, this works well for me because I sometimes have so many thoughts that I was not able to get them all down on paper..you may want to look into that...it is the small recorder with those 3mm tapes..I take it with me all the time..anyway..again thanks..I am going to try to focus on me more..

Tachina,

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I know how you feel. Unfortunately, for most, divorce does not ease the pain.

It is amazing for me too that my WW can change my moods instantly and retroactively. I may be having a good day or enjoyed a certain event, and my WW will say something and it will instantly change my mood. Unfortunately, it changes to something very sad.

I too have to work on finding joy outside of life events. If you depend upon life to bring you hapiness, it will always let you down. Joy is a state of mind. I wish I could reach this point, and for some short durations, I do. I can let what my wife says or does roll off my back. As time goes on, and the pain distances, I am sure this will become easier. I think these tradedies rock our world so much, that it is hard to find the joy we once had.

Cham, you are soooo right!!! How do you suppose we stop them from controlling our feelings? Find another mate!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Perhaps it's time to get a lawyer so that the needs of your children can be looked after. No matter what choices he has made it doesn't change the fact that these are his kids and he is still responsible for them!

ANOTHER MATE!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> LOL

Maybe that would work for me a little while (would be great fun wouldn't it) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . Just kindin' of course.

Unfortunately, I think I would tend to re-attach. I am reading a great book "Passionate Marriage" which talks about differentiation (keeping of oneself) when we get emotionally attached and how some tend to depend upon the people they are attached to for validation. I would recomend reading the book. It is a tough one to get through, but it is worth it. I am halfway through. Waiting to get to concrete "How To's".

I am still strugling with this whole thing. I guess it all comes down to standing up for yourself when in the midst of turmoil like this. I need to be strong and not let myself get walked all over. I need to be able to say, so what if she does not like what I am doing. If I know it is right, that is all that matters. So what if she wants to squalk at me for this or that.

Oh well. I try.