I am going to keep this as short as I can for now and will provide more info if you need it in order to give me your thoughts.

I am 41, WH is 43. We have been married for 2 years - my first, his second. We have a 9 month old son. OW is someone my husband new growing up as a kid in England. She lives there, we live in Texas. Until they reconnected in December '01 via Friends Reunited.com, he had not seen nor heard from her for over 25 years. D-Day 1 was on May 4, 2002. We have had 6 others since then. It was an EA via e-mail, IM and cell phone until first week of June '02 because of the distance. The first week in June, I had to go to Holland on business and they used that opportunity for her to come to TX (at her own expense). It became a PA at that time.

Our last D-Day was last Friday. I asked him to leave. He did, but came back the next day making all kinds of promises (again) and saying he wanted to work on our marriage and had told OW no further contact. I have found no evidence of any contact since then. That being said, however, with each D-Day, he gets smarter and smarter. He could easily be e-mailing, IM-ing and calling her from work - I have no way of finding out. He is definitely not using his cell or home computer to contact her. That all being said, last night after he had 100+ ounces of beer (equivalent of 10+ cans), he told me that he wants his space and wants to move out....that didn't change this morning when he was sober. This leads me to believe that OW is still in the picture despite his insistence that she is not.

Now, my big dilemna - I don't know whether he will actually leave....but, I have a BIG career opportunity to go to Istanbul, Turkey for a company conference the second week of September. He wants me to leave our 9 month old son with him or take DS to my parents so that I can go. I want to go, but am concerned that he will use this opportunity to go see OW or to have OW come here again and I DON'T WANT TO FACILITATE THAT! I also am uncomfortable leaving DS with him. What to do what to do.....Someone help me please.

Brit's Brat/BS-41
WH-43
DS-9 months
Status: Thought I was in recovery, but it was too good to me true.....

After I posted my previous message, I took a look in WH's hotmail account and my suspicions regarding their continued contact was confirmed. However, it appears that the A is over. Unfortunately, it also appears that my marriage is over and WH and I are filing for Divorce, which I did not know - isn't it nice to find out you are getting Divorced via e-mail?

This is the message to OW that he forgot to delete:

You know you were right when you said to me "how does it feel"? But you know what; I am way too old to play these games. You knew going into this what the deal was, I'm sorry, but I find the fact that you are still in contact with a guy who you had a relationship with & his wife kind of wierd....Sorry but that is just me. We all make mistakes in our lives, I accept that, but I'm sorry given what else you have told me about you and Lee. I can't deal with this, I'm sorry [her name] but I have to move on with my life....Judy & I are filing for Divorce, & I need to deal with all that is going to entail....

Husband's name.

Brit's Brat

BB, what was the date on the email? Could it be from when you made him leave? Also it appears he is truly finished with her. Just my thoughts

I would not confront or even tell him I saw the email... this is just some email to ow? right? he lies to her, right? now you and he have not discussed divorce... so dont bring it up. I am sorry you found the email... sometimes I jump to even bigger conclusions than I should.

Go to turkey, you deserve it. Take care of you, and trust him to be a good dad... do get gp to help with babycare. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> what part of town are you in?

Hugs, H <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

WH attempted to send the e-mail message at 9:25 last night. It did not go through. Apparently, when I sent it, it was the first time OW got it. I have now opened a hornet nest and OW is desperately trying to get ahold of WH.