I told H that I was going to move back home with the kids. The reasons I gave were that they miss being there and want to sleep in there own beds. What I didn’t say was that I was going to try and see if there was something worth salvaging in our marriage. I’m not ready to give up. I thought I could try and turn this around. Well, H said he didn’t want me back in the home. He said that he was tired of my BS and my anger problems and didn’t want to deal with it. The kids were welcome, but I wasn’t. He said that he was going to get a restraining order and include the kids as protected parties. I was soooo pissed! Like I would do anything to hurt my kids. He said that wasn’t the issue. The problem, he says, is that I have made threats against him and OW. He said that I am showing violent tendencies and instability, which could potentially endanger the kids if I don’t get a grip on myself. I told him he was full of it and just trying to justify what he was doing. He told me to call Child Protective Services and ask them myself. He called CPS! God, how did it get this bad? I don’t get it. He’s never been like this before. So now he wants to get a restraining order to keep me out of my home, and take my kids in the process. Oh, and get this! The little witch has a key to MY home. I drove by yesterday because I was going to visit my dog. I figured it would be a safe time since H was out of town and wouldn't be back until late that night. OW was already there, in MY house, playing with MY dog! I just hope she didn't see me. The last thing I want to do is give her the satisfaction of seeing me run off with my tail between my legs. I needed to go lick my wounds. Why does this have to hurt so much?

BBA-

Some advice form a fellow member of the RO-club. Get to an attorney RIGHT NOW. A restraining order is always issued temporarily until a hearing can be scheduled. A temporary RO does not go on your permanent record unless it becomes a permanent RO, then you will have all sorts of problems. A permanent RO can affect your employment history, your financial situation and a lot of other stuff your don't want to have messed-up. If your were ever to get involved with the police (even as a minor traffic ticket), your name will come up when they do a computer check and they will automatically assume the worst. Do not mess around with this!

If OW is living in your house, no wonder he is doing this, he has no other recourse. I'll bet when OW found out about your idea, all hell broke loose. It may have even been OW's idea to get the RO and maybe she is the one who put the ideas about you being dangerous into WH's head.

Do you have any kind of separation agreement in place, if not, get one now! I don't see why you and the kids had to move out, WH is the one who should be out on his keister, not you. Does your state have any laws for infidelity? He may be able to get a temporary RO, but if your record is clean and he hasn't made any complaints in the past, chances are you can fight it and win. Also, do get a separation agreement in place that prohibits any contact between your kids and OW. Get your rights protected, WH doesn't have his head in a fog, he has it up his [censored]!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" />

I had no idea that a restraining order could affect so much. I did threaten him and said I wanted to kick her a$$. I know I blew it when I made an inappropriate comment to her 12 year old, but I was really upset. I know I have to keep a cool head, but it&#8217;s so hard with all these emotions running through me. I feel that he is provoking me because he knows I have a short fuse. As for the witch living in my house, I doubt it. She lives just 4 houses down and has 3 children. Thoughts of her just sends me through the roof. She&#8217;s cool as a cucumber and so sure of herself (full of herself). Being in MY house, with MY things, is something she probably turns her nose up to. She&#8217;s a real snot!

How do I get a separation agreement? I want to protect my rights, but am not ready to divorce. This is all happening so fast. Does H have to sign this separation agreement? I don&#8217;t know if he would agree to anything right now. He&#8217;s acting like he has the upper hand, and I&#8217;m starting to think he may be right. I chose to leave and I took the kids with me, now I&#8217;m wondering if I should just run. I think California is a no-fault state, so I can&#8217;t even get him for adultery. He&#8217;s been the model father, just not so great as a husband. I want my home back. I want my husband back. I want my family together.

Betrayedbyall,

You live in CA? Me too. You can file an RO on the OW and your H. Let the CPS and police know that a person of questionable character is being allowed into your home and both your H and her are having an affair. File it before he does.

Right now there is another CA MBer who got kicked out of her beautiful home by the WS. He even took their small child. I was asked to serve the RO paperwork and did so earlier this week. Talk about drama coupled with stupidity. In fact I just sent that WS an e-mail because I may be the one to have to supervise his visitation with their child. The WS was billigerent and yet he cried crocodile tears. There were 3 officers present to witness the whole RO thing. While they could not help out until the RO was filed, they did make sure the WS did not get violent. Now mind you, in the past I am told that this WS was a kind person. But look what the A does. I can not go into details here but right now this WS may have done somethings bad enough to cause him to loose the right to even see his child.

So file that RO anyway. Check out the women's shelter in your area. Even though you cant get a D for adultery, you can be protected. You will need to meet with several agencies to work on financial aid, RO, child support, free legal services, housing, welfare, food stamps, etc. It is hard work but may be a necessity. You will find that you have options and remember, you do have choices.

Right now it may be best not to argue with the WS (they aren't listening anyhow). Work via a 3rd party and hurry up with that paperwork. Build up your support group. Pray for a clear mind and a calm heart.

take care,
L.

How bout I pray?

E