Well our two year anniversary is coming up this Monday (7/29). This would be a total of nine years we are together. The question I have is do I contact my wife(WS) in any way to say happy anniversary for what it is worth? Do I just send an email? Do I send her some flowers? Do I call her? Do I leave her a message? Or do I just leave her alone.
Unlike my wife(WS) I am human and I do care and love her tremendously. What do I do because I don't want to come off as if I am begging for her to come back but at the same time I do want to show her she still means alot to me.
Can anyone give me any advice? I don't want to screw something up again, things are screwed up enough with all of this.
Help...

IMHO, contacting her will not bring you happiness. Doing something fun that day away from your spouse might bring you some hapiness.

Theme Park, rigorous hike in the woods, concert, movie with friends, etc. Just something different than sitting around thinking about her <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> .

Gib

I had my WW over on our anniversary (17th)... might have been a mistake on one hand... it made me re-suffer through withdrawal again, after that. On the other hand, she got to see me in my new place, saw me as charming and nice as ever... saw pictures from my recent trip... and I could tell she was "hurting" from it all... so I scored some points at the expense of my sanity, as a possible final assessment!

Dear CG
I am in a similar situation- Plan B since 7/01 and our 12th anniversary would have been (still is?) 7/28.
To top it all off, my parents are having a 50th wedding anniversary party 7/27 at the same church and place where we were married!!!!!!!
Despite this, I am planning to maintain the NC position and will try to make it thru the day the best that I can.
Hope this helps.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Gibby1:
<strong>IMHO, contacting her will not bring you happiness.
Gib</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I agree with Gibby on this one. Been following you posts and sounds like contact may add to her feelings of confusion, or cause her to possibly feel suffocated.

Know its hard, I chose to have abosolutly no contact with my ws whatsoever during plan b to clear my head, not that it helped, he still pursued me until he moved out of state. But if feel you must do so, consider meeting in a "neutral" place, ie: resturant that has no sentimental memories for both. Might be not as overwhelming for you both.

Bless

I would NOT contact her. It will surprise her that you DIDN'T. Remember, to get different results you have to do things differently. This obviously ISN'T a happy anniversary, so by no means wish her one. Splurge on yourself that day and take yourself somewhere fun!

Thanks for all the replies and the advice. All of this has been so hard on me. A lot of times I just want to just quit. The pain is much deeper then I could of ever of thought. I still cry or get all teared up almost everyday. I suppose sooner or later I will cry enough where I can't cry no more.
I am going to do my best not to contact her. I try not to know or find out anything that she is doing but it is hard since I am close to her family. Her family is plan B'ing her also because all she wants to do is hang out with her friends and just party. I didn't ask her family to do that they choose that on their own.
Through all of this it has shown me one thing on how truly deep my feelings are their for my wife. That is the part that I am sort of just most amazed with myself about. At first I thought it was just being alone and having nobody there. But over the time I have had alone it has shown me I love my wife for who she was. Not who she is now.
These times are hard and I know a lot of people are going through this at the same time. Thanks again for the advice and just listening.

CG,
I know how you are feeling. I am coming up on our 11th anniversary and I will be out of the country with my job.
We are still living together, but she is always telling me that she wants her space and time alone. She would like me to find a place to deploy to and stay away for several months.

My WW Hasn't said she wants a divorce, only that she is confused and would like to see OM. Just so he can see her looking really hot so she can turn him down. She doesn't want to feel like she was used. So I am really confused as to what she wants. I too spend every day crying or fighting it back. I to thought I just didn't want to be alone, but have come to realize that what I feel is true, I love her. Some times I think that I can hold out and wait for this to pass, then at other times I feel like I am a sucker for trying and wanting something she doesn't. So I wonder what to do on our Anniversary, I think I will just send a note saying I thought of you today. But I still have about a month to go so; my thoughts might change as they do often. I wish you a happy day for your self and good luck.
CD