Hey Gang,

Anyone else going thru this?

Val is still calling my house very frequently every week since she was asked to leave well over 3 years ago. I am pretty much living with Gina for the last 6 or so months. My oldest son has been living at my house for the last 9 months. I stop by there to check on the cats and the kid. I checked the Caller ID one day and made mention that I see "The Girl" called today. T2 [my son] tells me she called 3 times already today. WHAT? He refuses to pick up and talk to her. She was his step-mom not birth mom.

I was at the house cleaning out the basement a while back, my Mom just left and a few minutes later the phone rings. So, I am downstairs and she usually calls after she leaves when she remembers that she wants me to do something else for her. I run up the stairs check the Caller ID and see <my last name> so I pick it up. TIMOTHY! why won't you call me back.... "[censored], It's The Girl" Mental note, next time check the first initial... Yeppers, it was Val. She was not happy that I don't call her back. Well, as it turns out what is so important is that... 1) She and Brian are getting M sometime, wondered if G and I were going to do the same [no answer on my part, none of her biz]... 2) They want to build a new house... 3) They want to have children... 4) NOW, she wants to start helping out paying off the credit card debts so it looks good on her credit report. umm, yeah, that will work. Where were you the last year and a half???? Oh, and I almost forgot, she needs to have open heart surgery again for a bad pulmonary valve.

I recently bought a new ambulance and Gina and I were working on it to get it in service. Guess what? Val was at the park across the street from my house and was watching. I even made mention to G the one day that the car parked there looked like hers. Val later proceeds to tell me that she has been down here quite a few times and has been tempted to knock on the door because I refuse to call her back. She lives 11 miles away and always hated where we lived. Why is she so interested in coming into town now and checking up on me? You told me to move on Bunches, and I did!!!

G got a call at her house a few weeks ago and said it was a young woman that asked for me, she asked to take a message and the reply was something like "I'll call back later" Since then we have been getting many hang up calls and G believes it to be V. I was thinking about this and tried looking in the ATT directories using Gina as the first name and a wild card for the last name in our town. Well, thanks to technology... yep G's name came up. Some honor to be the only Gina in town. Val was/is very sneaky and knew G lives close by [ she did fool me for two years with the A] so I can only imagine that she figured this one out too. Now we are getting solicitor calls here asking for me. Looks like I am on a master list now somewhere.

OK, I'm done. She didn't want me as a H, but now is stalking me. Watching us from the park?... WTF?

Wow Medic, looks like you are the center of attention. Feel more like you are under the microscope? Someone watching your every move?

Well if items 1 - 3 were going that well, why is she spending so much time checking you out? I can understand communicating about item 4 and even the heart issue but that could have even been done in writing? Seems like she is a bit jealous and was fishing for info.

You need to give your kids a pat on the back for not ratting out on you. So it is forcing her to call and 'stalk' you.

Can G change her # to unlisted? Get some sort of privacy manager #? Let all your neighbors know so they can watch out at both places?

I am sure it is hard to have to take steps like that but you never know.

I am glad you have G as your partner and support person.

Take care,
L..

PS: There is always the LB Fairie?!?!?!

My guess is that she has heard of your marriage plans, and is having trouble dealing with that. I have read here many times that the WS suddenly does a turn around when the BS moves on and finds someone else.

Since you are divorced, it is none of her business anyway, and as for the annoying calls, I would get her number blocked at both residences.

Love and light,

Jacky

Hey Orchid,

I'll tell ya I will never figure her out. One of my friends ran into her and Brian on two separate occasions. She goes running up to John [my bud] and starts chatting away, introducing B and all that fuss. Funny, before she couldn't stand to be in the same room as John before. Here, I find out there are many people we [Brian] and I know as friends. I have made the request to all that I don't care if they talk to one another, but, leave me, Gina, and the Biz out of it.

Val was aware that the woman that I was seeing first name was Gina and that she later moved and is living here in town, I told her that when we first became serious. It just freaked me out that Val was watching us and then the fact that you can pull up a phone number and address just using the first name and a wild card.

G doesn't seem to be afraid, I am on the other hand. I'm not sure what Val is capable of anymore. Would she approach G's kids, sabotage the van or Trans, try and start trouble between us? I'm starting to check my back a lot more lately.

I forgot to mention that V requested a face to face meeting so that we could decide on what to do with the remaining bills. I don't feel comfy with that, seems like a set up. Last time I saw her was a year and a half ago and I'm fine with that. There is such a thing as a fax and E now. Thanks. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

OK, sorry, I was interupted.

T2 is a great kid and he is smarter than the Old Man. He saw what was going on here during that time, he was living here, before heading off to college.

"Can G change her # to unlisted?" Unfortunately we are using that as a Biz billing secondary number and it is used by insurance companies.

"Get some sort of privacy manager #? Let all your neighbors know so they can watch out at both places?" I am currently working on both of those.

"I am sure it is hard to have to take steps like that but you never know." V is starting to scare me.

"I am glad you have G as your partner and support person." ME TOO!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi Nina!!!

That is prob a good guess that she has heard of the marriage plans seeing as thou the EMS grapevine here is pretty strong, not so sure about having trouble dealing with that.

"I would get her number blocked at both residences." T2 has already asked if he could change phone numbers at the house because it is getting anoying. The one thing is that late last year I got a call on my cell at 0300 in the morning. I pushed the send to VM button. Minutes later a call at my house followed by a call to the answering service. I did some checking and found out it was a pay phone outside one of the hospitals near Brians house. Who else would know all three numbers and call at that time of night? My guess was "they" had a fight and she was looking for a security net.

<small>[ July 29, 2002, 07:28 PM: Message edited by: MEDIC238 ]</small>

It's weird when the worm turns.

My former husband cheated and left me and then had the audacity to divorce me. While I was a mess grieving and obsessing over his unworthy carcas for six months, he wouldn't give me the time of day. Six months or better down the road after I healed and was dating, having fun and living my life, he couldn't stand it. Since I no longer worshiped at the altar of X feeding his ego, his "loss" was quite profound. I was suddenly the flavor of the month again, but then it was too late, I had moved on and found someone who made me forget what he even looked like.

My guess is that Val misses your misery over loosing her and now that not only are you no longer miserable, you have found someone wonderful to share your life with. You can bet Val is wondering "Mirror, mirror on the wall...who's the fairest...", knowing it isn't her anymore.

This is making her crazy and she is jealous beyond words. I think she is thinking if she can just keep some kind of contact going, she might be able to conjure up "those old feelings" in you again, thus making her the "winner" over Gina. And then dump your butt as soon as you surrendered. It's a game of ego and has nothing to do with love...except yours and she can't stand that you love someone else because I bet she was counting on you pining away for her for a lot longer than you did, and I bet she didn't bargain on you finding and falling in love with Gina.

Hahaha....I love poetic justice.

Love

Catnip =^^=

medic,

I feel for you man. When does it end? My story isn't a convuluted as yours. I moved out last weekend. Custody has been settled but the D is moving SLOWLY at my W's pace (she filed). Since I've been gone she's called over 30 times, often for ridiculous reasons. I've only called to talk to my daughter. Tonight in fact she called to ask if I picked up my mail when I was there after work. The mail's gone, doesn't that answer the question? This has been almost a daily occurance. She wants the D, never wanted to work on the marriage and has made it clear she doesn't want me as her H, but she continues to rely on me as one. Makes me feel very uncomfortable and used.
She created this mess and when I finally try to walk away, she won't let me. I know how you're feeling.

sad dad

Hi Catnip!!!, sorry for the long delay, we [G and her/our kids are getting ready for vacation and life is somewhat hectic around here.

"Since I no longer worshiped at the altar of X feeding his ego, his "loss" was quite profound. I was suddenly the flavor of the month again, but then it was too late, I had moved on and found someone who made me forget what he even looked like."

Boy, that sounds suprisingly familiar. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> um just change he for she. I don't go that way. Yes, I was M twice, but, I won't look at some guys hairy [censored] and say "this is love"

"This is making her crazy and she is jealous beyond words. I think she is thinking if she can just keep some kind of contact going, she might be able to conjure up "those old feelings" in you again, thus making her the "winner" over Gina. And then dump your butt as soon as you surrendered. It's a game of ego and has nothing to do with love...except yours and she can't stand that you love someone else because I bet she was counting on you pining away for her for a lot longer than you did, and I bet she didn't bargain on you finding and falling in love with Gina."

HEY!!!! That's my wonderful XW your'e talking about, damn it. She wouldn't try to screw me again. Obviously you don't know her very well. She would never hurt me. [Man, I could almost type that with a straight face.]

"Hahaha....I love poetic justice."

I call it Karma!!!

Catnip =^^= [God, I love that little cat jobbie]

Hi Sad Dad

"She created this mess and when I finally try to walk away, she won't let me. I know how you're feeling."

Hey, Bud, I read your post and I know how you feel too. Cripes, V called last year for her Mom's bike that was in our basement for a few years. All of a sudden XMIL desperately needed the bike. Hell, I know, when you want to ride a bike you need a fix right away. So, V called requesting the bike, I said ok I'm working, but, I will put it outside by the garage. A few minutes pass by, V calls again. "Where are you puting the bike?" Um... outside by the garage. She calls again, "Are you going to be there? The bike is heavy and I can't put it in my car by myself". Um... sorry we have a run and NO, I won't be there. She calls a third time in less than 15 minutes. "Are you sure you can't be there to help me"? I'm sorry Val, I can't, we have a scheduled run and I want to retire in VA Beach before I hit 45. OK, so I didn't say the last part, but, I was thinking it.

Later that night she calls again telling me that I should trim the bushes and pull some weeds because the yard does not look the way "we" had it. Give me a break!!!!

AND UPDATE!!!!!, today, I was playing ambulance and hanging out at my house because the oil guy was coming to clean the furnace. V called twice in a 4 hour period. My partner wanted to answer the phone [she knows her too] and tell her off. I opted no, that's ok, I don't want to see her car at the park with Brians gun and a red laser dot on my chest. I went with just let it ring.

<small>[ August 01, 2002, 10:24 PM: Message edited by: MEDIC238 ]</small>

medic,

When does it end? I don't know how you keep from telling her off. I think catnip is right, she can't stand that you've moved on and found someone new. She may not want you but doesn't want anyone else to have you. Her loss!

My W called again to ask if she should bring our daughter's bathing suit home from daycare. Huh? Was that really worth calling about? She also asked if I could stop by the house tomorrow to let the dog out because she's going out after work. I wanted to take the dog for the weekend anyway, but she didn't know that and it's hardly the point.

Have a great vacation!!!!

sad dad

Hey Bud!!!

"When does it end"?

I'm not sure, yet, it's been going on for me since March 13 1999 at 0230. I will never forget that date and time. That was when my still beating heart was ripped out of my chest, thrown on the floor and stomped upon by the woman that suppossedly loved me. A guy remembers that kind of thing. Birthdays, anniversaries... maybe not, but, that, YES.

"I don't know how you keep from telling her off. I think catnip is right, she can't stand that you've moved on and found someone new. She may not want you but doesn't want anyone else to have you. Her loss!"

I look at the end result that I desire. What do I want from this. Telling her off would be great, make me feel good but, it would only continue the unwanted phone calls. I think it's kind of a "I don't want you, but, no one else can have you" gig. Funny you should mention Her loss. The license plate on my "divorce present" is XWS LOSS.

"My W called again to ask if she should bring our daughter's bathing suit home from daycare. Huh? Was that really worth calling about? She also asked if I could stop by the house tomorrow to let the dog out because she's going out after work. I wanted to take the dog for the weekend anyway, but she didn't know that and it's hardly the point".

V has stated numerous times that she wants to remain friends because she likes talking to me. Too bad she couldn't talk to me when we were still M. Tell me something was wrong. Tell me she was seeing someone else. I have to believe I would have been interested and had done something different.

"Have a great vacation!!!!"

Thanks, Man, we are meeting up with G's entire family at Cedar Point in Ohio. Her parents seem to like me, but, I'm sure they think I'm strange. Hey, what do you want for a 13 y/o mentality stuck in a 42 y/o mans body? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hope you find resolve in your situation as well.

Zippy

Hi Medic, good to see you post.

I suspect something is missing in her relationship with Brian the soulmate. It sounds like she'd like to be a cake-person, if you'd let her. Which is not even close to what you would ever have hoped for, and too late anyway.

Wishing you the best.

Hey Lor!!!

I'm still here, lurking mostly, checking out what is going on with my buds [you included] that I have made here. I don't post much because things are going pretty well for me/us. This just kinda bothered me. Why in the Sam Hill would you keep calling your X when you have already had your lawyer threaten further legal action. [wow, that scared me, not] I got that letter back in January of this year and this is um... August. I sent back the info "they" requested and apparently it wasn't good enough. "They" want more. Funny how if this info is so important I have not received any further correspondence from the lawyer or have been called to court.

I have to almost believe that it was a favor to her or Brian that the lawyer sent it, it was a scare tactic, or she called off the dogs. Either way she should really buy a vowel and get a clue. This isn't working.

Val, build a bridge, get over it, you didn't want me anymore. You got your wish. Thanks for playing, have a great life.

Hope things are still going well for you Lor.

Your bud,

Tim

hey medic-good to hear you are doing well except for a crazy ex! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> i have always told people going through this that the best revenge is just making it! move on and have a wonderfull life-it drives them crazy! hang in

Hey Nikko,

Just wanted to say Hi and thanks for the reply. I do believe that V may finally be realizing what she has done. Things are kind of hectic here right now getting ready for the nine hour drive in the early morning. I have a 7 y/o, a 9 y/o and a 37 y/o getting antsy. Hey, today is G's Bday!!!

I'm not sure if I will have a 'net connection at the hotel or not. Looks like I might be going thru withdrawl.

Sorry that I have not been able to read your latests posts. I have a cig break and wanted to thank you and all the others that responded.

POOP, smoke done, time to go. I hear G upstairs, gotta run..... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />