I was wondering how you were doing.

I hope everything is O.K.

Hey Chameleon...

Things are ok... a bit stable. I must've missed you last night, must have logged off just as you posted this. Thanks for thinking of me.

I'm at work now, just reviewed boards really quick before getting cracking.

I'll post more tonight... anything new in your situation?

Not much new in my feelings. I know this takes time. If she put forth 1/5 of the effort and love she gave OM, I would be great. I am stuck with the bottom of the barrel and second choice at best.

I feel very indifferent.

I also feel like I have a little dual personality going on. This is too weird.

chameleon...

This does suck. I'm not myself either--or, at least I feel like I am for a while, then it's another down hill thing. Sorry I didn't post last night... one of the kids caught my attention with something else and I got busy with that.

We're at an impasse here... and it's unbearable to me. The anger and resentment between us is something that's very hard for me to deal with. I've never been at such odds with anyone in my life before.

I'm trying to figure out how to boost my confidence when H is around... his attitude towards me is just awful and in a lot of ways, can't say I blame him. It's a vicious circle. He sees me as this insecure, unconfident person. I see him as this demanding, lying, hot headed person--a real dragon. It's weird and I don't know how to deal with it. He sticks his head out of his cave and then I think "ok, positive sign here." He picks up on that and becomes really self-defensive all over again. Yuck.

I should update my original thread sometime with the most recent goings on, but I really haven't felt like it either. It always comes off like a whine and cheese party rather than an attempt for me to logically figure this out and get a grip on the situation and find a way to attack problems logically.

Well I am whining today. No motivation. No energy. Maybe I have been drinking too much. Have another slight hangover this morning. I need to stop that.

Hey... knock off the boozin; <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

It's not gonna help you think any clearer!

Ok, my lecture's done. I won't get the 2X4 out. (I'm guilty of enjoying a cold Corona these days in the evening anyhoo... it's been so danged hot here where I live it's like a little pleasure I allow myself after a hard day... but just ONE... ya know those imports are expensive, so I gotta ration myself <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> )

Hope you're doing better.