It seems to me that this business of Hs and Ws being involved in EAs and PAs does not respect religion either, as I note that there have been more than a few posts from "Christian" men and women who are in EAs and PAs.

Hs and Ws .. How widespread is this?

If you are a "Christian" and have been involved in an EA or PA, how did you get involved? Wasn't doing that going against everything for which you were supposed to stand?

What is your story?

Also .. please tell us whether you're male or female.

Clyde

clyde

christians are sinners also.. all of us..

Clyde,

This kind of question always affects me stangely. It's like saying that since we are Christians that there is less of a chance that it would happen to us. We are all sinners. We fall in and out of Grace. We are not immune to this because we are Christians.

Are you saying that if one is not a "real" Christian then this would not happen?
We don't turn our Christianity on and off. Sometimes people falter, but we are given the tools to get back on our feet again.

We may ask our selves, "how can a Christian do something like this?". We are flawed humans, all of us.

Clyde, I dont mean for this to sound argumentative. I just don't think we should assume that one group should have more immunity from infidelity than another.
BTW, I am the BS.

Born into sin from birth because of Adam, it is a curse. Christians are no less sinners then the unsaved. We do not go to hell for our sin, that was paid for at calvary. We go to hell because we do not believe.

Christians are just as capable to sin as the unsaved.

Remember, in Jesus' words, "But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart" (MAT 5:28). Now who can say that they have not done this?

Cleopatra:

No argument.

I grew up believing that Christians (even though I believe that anyone who accepts Christ's teachings is a Christian) were particularly careful people who played by the Bible every time.

My visits to these boards proved an eye-opener. It is in this context that I asked the question; and for no other reason.

Clyde

Clyde
Just one other thought on that: You all know the story of King David. Not only did he commit adultery with Bathsheeba, he even had her husband put on the front line of the battlefield so he would be killed. The good news though, is that in the end God called David "a man after God's own heart". Now, that's grace.

Christians are the last people in the world to claim perfection, rather they fully admit they are sinners. The secular world does no such thing.

That being said, Christians are expected to live up to a higher standard. We are to STRIVE for perfection, knowing that we can never fully acheive it.

And I have to add that being a Christian takes ALL THE FUN out of sinning. It is not fun anymore!

<small>[ July 30, 2002, 10:10 PM: Message edited by: MelodyLane ]</small>

Yank,

Well put. I bring up David quite a bit. One thing I learned about God is that he choses people for no apparent reason and his love for us is oblivious to our sins. He expects and knows we will sin. What a perfect role model for a perfect Plan A.
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Melody Lane,

The world expects us to be perfect, that is their mistake. We are inherently imperfect. We were born into this world as sinners and we will die in this world as sinners.

Do not strive to be perfect or sin less, stive to walk with God, sining less may occur, but is trival to the importance of the walk with God.

Hey Clyde, as the BS I can say this is one thing that has bothered me. And although I can say I have a pretty clear understanding of God's plan for us, I have been at a loss to understand how my WH could have undervalued something (our M) that I held so dear.

Finally getting past the "why me," I have wondered on a spiritual level exactly what the Lord expects of me in helping someone I love (WH) who has lost so much faith in Him. This is a tough one. Do I cut my loses and move on in life, hoping the Lord will look out for me, having a "eye of Faith" or do I try to hang in there, be an example of the believers (though not a perfect spouse myself, admittedly) in the hopes that WH will turn around and seek happiness, spiritually, and emotionally with me?

We hold ourselves to a standard our religious expectations demand, and though disappointed in our imperfections, we are not surprised.

Clyde,

I understand where you are coming from now.

I will say that from my own expierence, I wondered how a person that I thought was so brutally honest could have had an A. Questioning his realigious conviction entered my mind, but I realized that I am a flawed person with a love for Jesus and his teachings and that my H is also.

Thankfully, his religious beliefs helped in recovery of our marriage.

I'm a Christian have been since I was 14. Yes I knew what I was doing was wrong and that's why I would 'suddenly' get sick on Sunday's and Wednesday's. Or I would talk Rob into going out of town on Sunday and spending the day with the family. Or when that didn't work I would volunteer to work in the nursery at church. You guessed it, I felt guilty and I didn't want to listen to the sermon for fear of what I would hear. I guess you could say (for me) I had backslid and knew it but I was too selfish to care at the time. And looking back I can't believe how scary my thinking was. I have been brought up (Pentecostal) that the rapture is going to happen anyday and that we need to live each day as if Christ were coming back that day. I lost sight of that for 8 months.

All I can say is that I am human and as a human I will make mistakes, some much bigger than others. But I have asked for God's forgiveness and Rob's forgiveness and I know my soul is right with God and my marriage is back on track. I pray and do my devotions daily and it feels so good to be back to 'normal'.

OK, sorry for the preaching, but I'm just so excited that all is well again. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

RW

Hi Clyde,
I just had to comment...I am Jewish and so is my H. we are very religious...and , as you know, take the ten commandements pretty seriously as well as the rest of our moral obligations. We have taken the issue of the A to our Rabbi and have been counseled. The bottom line is this, affairs seem to be universal. This site is such a help because we can all relate to each other and support one another. This is irregardless of race, religion, etc...it is inclusive. I think adultery is a challenge to be overcome by human beings, not just Christians, catholics, Muslims, etc. But I will tell you that fater I learned of my H's affair, I, too, had thoughts of...."how did he do this? We are so religious.."The fog takes over. And , sometimes, it lifts and you get your spouse back. Debra