<img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

<small>[ August 02, 2002, 04:30 PM: Message edited by: Honey ]</small>

Is Jim your H's name?

<small>[ August 02, 2002, 04:33 PM: Message edited by: Honey ]</small>

Well she sure doesn't look hot..... kinda murky dopey looking but not hot.

Sorry Honey, right now there is a dumb WS getting dumber by the minute. Gotta let him go be dumb by himself.

If he wants to hang out with a dope and be a dope, that is his choice. You need to pull away from his antics and put yourself in a better spot.

The maid is no catch. There's a lot that look like her out her. Dime a dozen and I am not kidding.

This part of the country is known for those who have loose morals and willing to stoop to whatever. YUCK!!!! She wants him for whatever $$$ she can get, then she will go find another. Looks like she can brag about catching an American (PBR - liked white guys - go figure). He will find out sooner or later that he was being used just like he is using right now and he won't like it.

U though are better than that. As long as your H is sinking past the dirt, then you need to keep yourself clean.

L.

No, she's not that great, Orchid was right, probably just wants an American for money.

But, what also counts, and this is the most important thing that I want you to remember, your inside is much more beautiful that hers. You have inner beauty, you have morals.

The toilets she cleans everyday are more beautiful than her inside beauty any day!!!!!

LOL!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

<small>[ August 02, 2002, 04:34 PM: Message edited by: Honey ]</small>

I don't know, Honey. Why DO you do this?

You are far better than that. Never, ever forget that.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> who knows... stil l feeling sad.. havent told him one thing I discovered, just begged him to work it out in my messagea nd sd I would do anything...
oh why do I do this?
</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Honey, as hard as it may seem, don't beg. He needs to see you strong. I know it is so hard, (((hugs))), I know how you are feeling right now, you just want to curl up in a corner and die, been there.

Please refocus on you, you can do this, I know you can. You are going downhill on that emotional roller coaster.

Can you email me your address that I can ship a book to you??

<small>[ August 02, 2002, 04:34 PM: Message edited by: Honey ]</small>

Honey,

I don't think I've ever posted in your threads but I've read many. I think you need to start askng yourself if this game you're stuck in is worth the prize at the end.
Your h has proven time and again that he does not respect you, will not support you and only seems interested in drinking and getting the next dimwitted bimbo all starry-eyed over him.
With all this knowledge why do want him so badly in your life? Because of the memories of what he was? Memories are not something to base your life on.
You say you want "no more suffering" but you keep begging to have an abusive man in your life. He's abusive and no amount of wishing that he'd be the man you married will make it so, he's just not that person anymore.
This has been going on for a long time for you and your days and nights must be filled with wishing him home and putting up with endless amounts of terrible behavior. You need to let him go, you're never going to have a life if you don't.

thanks for the words... I know his actions are insane... I am dealing with an alcoholic... back to alanon I go! I went today and it helped! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

H

ok Honey.

Jim doesn't want to work on your marriage.
Jim doesn't want you to call.
Jim doesn't want to stop drinking.
Jim had OW, the maid, and now is trying to date.
Jim treats you VERY badly.
Jim is an alcoholic.

So what can you do about any of those things?

Will calling him over and over again change it?
Will begging him change it?
Will being cold to him change it?
Will Plan A change it?
Will Plan B change it?

Get this through your head. THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO. He must first choose to deal with his issues, and he is not choosing that right now.

Get your act together for yourself and your boys. Get away from him. Do not call him. Do not snoop. Do not wish for him. Do not pine for him. He's a jerk. Move on.

YOU CANNOT RECOVER YOUR MARRIAGE.

There is no marriage to recover, Hon. If he came back to you would you truly believe that this will never happen again, would you ever be able to trust him? Honey, when someone tells you who they really are, believe them the first time.

What you've been through would require a lot of rehab, counseling and real, open and honest communication. Your h seems like on of thos immature men that will never go that route. Stop wasting your time waiting on him, if it happens it will but in the meantime stop holding your breath, kid, it's killing you.

Honey,
I don't know if you believe in God and what God teaches about us, but if you do, then go to a Christian book store and get this Bible study book. It's called Search for Significance. It will help you with all those issues of self-esteem. I used this study and it helped put so much into perspective for me.
I'm sorry that things are bad for you right now.
hang in there.
Debbie

Oh Honey, what a mess <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" />

I hope you're doing ok after this latest mess. I finally got through to the pages and I was apalled at the text next to his picture. I agree that it may be time to move on. He isn't operating with a full deck to put something like that on a webpage. The man you married is gone and this replica is a poor choice for you.

Stay strong and take care of you and the boys

<small>[ August 02, 2002, 04:35 PM: Message edited by: Honey ]</small>

Honey,
There is nothing wrong with still having strong feelings about your marriage. But I believe you are a far better person than Jim and frankly he doesn't deserve you.
That's right HE doesn't deserve YOU.
Not the other way around. No matter how much you feel like beating yourself up or getting down on yourself listen to me...HE IS NOT WORTH IT.
You don't see that right now because he has damaged your self esteem. Not destroyed it, damaged it.
We can rebuild you, faster, stronger...funny if you ever saw the 6 million dollar man.
He doesn't deserve someone as caring and as wonderful as you. I have seen your support for everyone here. You always post and have something uplifting to say.
Please don't let this jerk demean you like he did on that picture.
Wait until he comes crawling back once he realizes you were the best thing that ever happened to him and you laugh in his face because you realize getting him out was the best thing you could have ever done for yourself.
Be strong girl and take care...
Hugs across the miles for honey.
Layli

sweetie -- I don't hate or dislike your husband.'

You've been here for months telling us the same stories and having the same problems. I just wish you would see the situation for what it is rather than repeatedly wishing and hoping for it to change.

I feel sooooo bad for you. I hate to see you in this situation, and I hate to see you feeling the way you do.

My words may have seemed harsh to you -- I was hoping my words would clear your fog a little.

http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi8110_cod.html
(the Harley article on Co-dependancy) Please read the statement "When it comes to addiction in marriage, my advice is to run for cover! "

I hate seeing you doing this to yourself.
Please for your own sake, move on.

ditto,Lexxy, in every thing. Face it,honey.

My H is an alcoholic too,8 yrs sober. I KNOW how they get...It is NOT your fault he drinks, no matterwhat he says. He MUST blame someone else.THEY ALL DO. I enabled without realizing it but My H was not typical. He drank at home,never in bars, and only beer,just LOTS of it,LOL>

UNtil HE wants to get sober,he will not. Your insistance on him changing MAY be why he's worse...they ARE CHILDREN, who stop maturing at the age when they first started drinking.

And, sorry, but he can't abuse you if you don't call him..STOP putting yourself on the line...IT IS over and over...Accept the end,honey,HURTS,GOD, I know.

You know, your life WILL improve but you have to let it!! Your family is not the first one, nor the last, to be destroyed by alcohol. Be better than him, honey, b/c you know you ARE!! Stop craying over what you had,you didn't REALLY have it anyway, and begin to be grateful for what is REAL in yourlife..you, your children. For THEIR sakes, get RID of this guy. Think of what they are seeing and processing..I grew up without a father,(they D when I was a baby) with a pretty crappy mother. I AM A FINE ADULT..It doesn't kill anyone.

No, it's not the ideal but kids ARE adaptable. They don't need a dad like him, anyway. Your dream of a family is over,as you knew it,,but YOU can create a new family,that is not warped. BUT YOU have to LET HIM GO!!!

I don't hate your H..but I DO hate what you are allowing him to do to you..I pity the guy,he may never wake up.

And Honey -- we are all still here supporting you. We just want to see good things happen for you and your boys. And we'll all be behind you cheering you on.

And my opinion is that Jim isn't a good thing.
Maybe he was...and maybe he can be again. BUT YOU CAN'T FIX HIM. He has to fix him. And he doesn't wanna.

So your family right now is Honey and the boys.
And you 3 can be a good healthy family.

Ever see Lilo & Stitch? At the end, Stitch talks about Lilo as his family -- and he says:
"its small......and its broken.......but its good"