Honey,
Look at that link again! Does she know you're here? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

<small>[ August 02, 2002, 04:35 PM: Message edited by: Honey ]</small>

<small>[ August 02, 2002, 04:36 PM: Message edited by: Honey ]</small>

Honey,
My exH was/is an alcoholic. I lived with it for six years. Deep down I knew early on but I chose to ignore it. I thought that *I* could change him. But that is simply not so. He has a serious illness... a disease... one that no one treat except him. And he is clearly not wanting to work on it. And as hard as it is, and as much as it hurts you, there is NOTHING you can do FOR him. And YOU can't make this marriage work by yourself.

Again, he has a serious illness. And unfortunately YOU are suffering from it. It's like he has no desire to better himself but he's drowning you in the process. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE think about yourself. This is NOT good for you. This man treats you terribly. Sweetie, it might as well be YOU drinking from the bottle... he's doing damage to you... to your soul, your heart, your emotional well being.

Keep going to Alanon.

Just think about this! NO ONE is worth what you are going through. True love is NOT about this. True love is caring, nurturing, encouraging. Is he any of those?

Put HONEY first! You are #1. Be like that! Act like that!!!

Love,
Clear

<small>[ August 02, 2002, 04:37 PM: Message edited by: Honey ]</small>

Whew! Yesterday when I looked at it there was nothing. Today it looked different so I thought maybe she saw MB and then changed it last night.

<small>[ August 02, 2002, 04:38 PM: Message edited by: Honey ]</small>

Sorry, that's still a lousy pic. Poor composition. Photographer better not quit his/her day job.

<small>[ August 02, 2002, 04:36 PM: Message edited by: Honey ]</small>

building good websites requires some photography skills. He should GET a day job!

Honey,

Lexey has told you what you need to do. You know what you need to do. Everyone has told you what you need to do. My question to you is why can you not do it?

I know all about not wanting a broken family. I was/am the Queen of hanging on to something that was not there any more. I hung for 2 yrs & maybe the way I have stalled the divorce for the last yr is another way of hanging. But sometimes you just have to move on. I know that my STBX thinks better of me when I am strong than when I was weepy, clingy etc. I did plenty of that also.

Honey, it is past time to think of only you & your sons. As your WH is now he is not good for your sons, do you want your sons to grow up to be like him?

come on Honey, you can do it.

Honey - I have to admit I did skim over most replies but it seems to me you need to take a firm stand.

You cannot fix your H or educate him - he is on a personal path of destruction and don't don't let him drag you down that path.

You are worth more. You deserve love and respect and face it, Jim is not giving you that. Heck, he's not giving himself that either.

Stay strong.

Honey,

I agree with those that say it is time to move on.
Sweetheart this man doesn't deserve even the poop in the toilet, he really truly doesn't.

He is not only disrespecting you, but playing mind games with you. It is time you teach him who is the grown up here, kick his sorry [censored] to the curve and move on, let him know what it is to be completely forgotten, maybe then he'll realize something.

Some maids I know have tried the dirties tricks to get themselves permanently legalized in the country. It is sick and saddens me, because I am not an US citizen, but I am here out of love, (I had my entire world and future overseas, and it took me a lot of courage and determination to make the jump here, my family is high-medium class, my husband was poor when I first arrived, not much of a trade off, but I am madly in love with him).

His photographic skills do suck, a LOT. He is using the standar ready-made photoshop filters, you just push a button and the program does everything for you, doesn't take Einstein to figure that one out.

His web page is rather primitive, what am I saying... VERY basic, he is in the kindergaten of web design. I think that drunk I can do much better. (But once again I AM a professional web designer, photographer and visual artist so never mind).

He just made me sooooo mad.

Honey sweetie, it is time to friggin kick his [censored] buh bye. I am serious, go to your alanon meeting and explain this see what they've got to say, if they say the same, will you please, for us, consider the possibility of telling him goodbye???

PLEASE!!!

(((((((((((((Hugglez))))))))))))))
we don't want to see you hurt anymore by somebody that doesn't deserve your time of the day Honey, please!

<small>[ August 02, 2002, 01:31 PM: Message edited by: Alostwife ]</small>

Honey-

Check out this thread - it might help...

Hugs,
JG

<small>[ August 02, 2002, 04:37 PM: Message edited by: Honey ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Honey:
<strong>
I hate living alone and being a single partent.. I hate it hate it hate it.

Anyway...</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You know something HOney, you are not the only one who hate living alone or being a single parent. I DO TOO but it is the hand that we have been dealt, you can either play or fold what are you going to do. I choose to play.

Btw, as much as my STBX has always travled, I have been a part time single mom for 18 yrs, I rather be a single mom to young children than teenagers. NOTHING is worse than waiting up for an overdue teenager by your self. Hoping by the time your OS is my OS's age, you won't be a single parent.

Honey, why are you deleting all of your posts?

((((((Honey))))))

You have been given some heartfelt advice on this thread. Please listen to everyone they care about you and your kids.

Honey, you and I are in similar situations with our alcholic WH's. Mine too is doing all kinds of nuttso things. I have had unrealistic expectations that my WH would sober up and start living his life according to God's way. It hasn't happened and it won't unless HE asks God for help.

Listen to those who say could you trust this man in the future? It would take a lot of work, counseling, and time. I know it happens, cuz I am a sober alcoholic myself for the last 10 years. I've seen miracles in AA so I believe.

Now please hear me, this is the 3rd time (that I know of ) that I have gone through hell with this man. Do you want to end up where I am? Each time I
stuffed or denied what was really going on. This is a disease. You didn't cause it and you can't cure it. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

Whether you stay married, get divorced or separate, you must look after you. Do it for the kids, do it for yourself, do it for all of this on this board that care about you.

Why is it so hard because we love them, or we love the illusion, or we are afraid to be alone, for our finances, the list could go on and on.
Keep going to Alanon, consistently and be really present, get a sponsor. I will be eternally grateful to Bramblerose who recommended that to me.

As I post this, I wanted you to know that I too have a hard time letting go. I need to tell WH that I am getting a legal separation, yet I put it off. I will do it, and very likely this weekend. I have pulled way back and only deal with WH on matters of the business that is failing and other have to's.

Honey, it usually gets worse as time goes on. Has anything you've done made a difference to him? Has he changed? Insanity is doing the same things over and over expecting different results. I pray he does get sober and leads a good life. But he aint there now.

(((((Honey)))))) love yourself, you can do what you need to do. Ask God to direct you, how He wants you to see this. Ask Him to give you the courage and the strength to deal with whatever comes your way, and know you can be strong in Him even when you don't feel like it.

God Bless,

D.

Honey, I don't know what has happened, but I'm guessing that if your deleting your posts then someones playing games with you. Games that you don't deserve and that use up your valuable energy.

That energy could go into an amazing YOU.

Just let him go Honey. He dosen't deserve you. Be the best Honey you can be - let that teach him a lesson.

yes there was some game playing, that is all I want to say... thanks to everyone for the valuable advice and friendship, support. I appreciate it, there are posters out there... who dont care about us... or lurkers... beware. .. that is all I can say. I posted to omuch info and did not mean to.... I was just wanting feedback to calm me over the latest crisis in my life with the alcoholic... anyway... I still lo ve him... I hear you will get thru this... I am trying very hard to do things differently- I am very tired of the horrible things my h says to me.

I am very angry that I am supporting 2 kids alone and having a lessor lifestyle finanically and helpwise with 2 parents..t han we would without this mess.

I am tired, and sick of it.

I still love him and I hate waiting to see...

I am moving on the best I can for now.
thanks a million for everyones help... H