I've been in plan A for 4 months, this week beginning on Monday I decided to stop doing anything around the house for my husband.
Basically I've stopped being his maid and I've
also distanced myself emotionally. Surprisingly
enough he's seems to be trying harder and he doesn't seem upset about it, he does seem suspicious though. My husband is still involved in an affair that's been going on for a little over a year (I found out in Dec. 01) and I'm a stay at home mom w/ a very little income maybe $200 a month if that. He has all control of our money etc. I have no access to it. I don't know how I can move to plan B without his financial support unless I move out of town to my mom's house the problem is the other woman's family is also from the same area about 20 miles away from my mom's but that's really the only place I can go and I'm unsure about whether that will defeat the plan. If I ask him to leave our home then I still need to depend on him for money and to pay our bills since there is no way I can pay our mortgage etc. If I stay here at home and continue to not meet his needs but allow him to stay I don't think the full effect of plan B will work and all my work in plan A will be erased. What should I do? HELP! There seems to be only one other avenue and that is to file for divorce in hopes that it will end my husband and the other women's affair. I really don't want to divorce!

Hi BIAM, I do suggest one thing... I dont know about plan a or b.. but I do know you prob. need more personal income just in case. Think about getting a job... do you have a car? You need to own more personal power in the relationship, and money will help. Also, you can then take care of yourself if you have to.. if you do have to get d'd- I hope not- I am still hoping not for me, and I am darn near nuts over this.

I used to be really dependent on my h.. then I went back to school , got a grad. degree,and started making more than him... then he went out and had to beat me... in salary, and boy did our incomes go up... eventually... I hurt my back and quit work...a lso had 2nd son and then.... wanted to be home too... during this period I let myself go and was less wifely because of other demands.. I mean less cooking and cleaning... well he cheated, and left for an ow...

great, huh?

we are seperated,a nd I have tried plan a until I am blue... I think on my h plan a works some , but he is cake eating and moved on to even more ows after the first ..he is acting like a rebellious child.

Anyway, I pray and hope your h is a better man than mine...

Maybe you can do modified plan b? while you get yourself in better money position. even a part time job?

Hugs to you, I know how it is to be where you are and dependent on a man who is not treating you right.

Honey <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />