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Joined: Feb 2002
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So, DH calls me and he is in a good mood. However, he is laughing and joking with his brother. So, why call me if you are going to talk to someone else. Anyhow, I just get quite and he says something to me and I don't respond. He asks what I'm doing and I just say I was waiting for you to finish talking to brother. He says you want me to let you go? Huh?!? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" /> He was the one who was ignoring me.

So, we stay on the phone and talk about a couple of things. We talked about his trip and I asked what day he was coming back on (Thurs. or Fri.) He thought last night it was Fri. and I thought it was Thurs. - they leave Mon. and it's a 3 day thing I think. He says they come home 11PM Fri. I ask why they are staying all day Fri. He says "I don't know, to party." Boy did that burn my butt. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Mad]" src="images/icons/mad.gif" /> I stayed pretty cool, but didn't say much. He then said he was joking. I asked if he needed a ride home from the airport. He said I'll take a cab. I said did you ever stop to think I mentioned it because I want to do it.

Anyhow, he eventually makes a comment that maybe it will do us good to be apart some. Ooohh, I hate this damn trip! I want to cry right now. So, DH gets all frustrated with me and I'm not even quite sure why. He doesn't want to do anything for his birthday (Sat.), and I want to make it special, at least as a family. Then he keeps making comments about my sisters wedding shower Sun. and I feel bad that I'm having it now. I don't plan to do anything for it Sat. (his birthday), but he seems really negative about the shower.

So, he decides he "just wants to get off the phone." I am at my wits end. I feel like I just want to give up - but in reality I know I don't. Can I just cry for about 24 hours and get it all out?!/ <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> Anyway, thanks for listening. I just needed to get it out. You guys are great.

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tutter:

Where is his business trip? If it's near here, I'd be happy to swing by and smack that bad boy upside the haid with the MB 2x4 for ya!

Please hang in there. I truly hope that this is just a bumpy spot in the road.

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heh

Ok...I responded in a more "helpful" manner on your thoughts thread.

But this...wow.

Tutter...he's being a [censored]. He feels bad and he wants you to dance for him, then he plays games with you and gets you good and riled again. I'm beginning to think he feels the need to keep you insecure.

Ok...that may not be right...but darn...that'd tick me off if I was on your end of things.

GET A COUNSELOR!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

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2long - Thanks for the offer. I saw this before I left for the day yesterday and it made me smile. Thank you so much, I needed that.

Hope - Yep, he was being a [censored], but I think he just was really starting to feel backed into a corner by my constant questioning (which I think was due to insecurities on my part).

Check out my Thought's Please thread, I gave an indepth descript of how last night turned out. I think he's right, I try too hard sometimes and it almost pushes him away. I'm going to do everything I can to just live, love, enjoy and keep my marriage growing. I told him that he picked me up when I feel hard, and now I am here to help him up.

Thank you both for your responses. I just so needed to get that out last night. Keep your fingers crossed for a good weekend. Thanks again.

Joined: Apr 2002
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It's ok, Tutter, I am glad you are trying hard...somebody has to or else none of us will make it. Cast off the past, if you are working to earn his love, he should do the same. Good luck.

Joined: Jul 2002
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What is with the 2x4 stuff. I say bigger and heavier. Some 5" diam extra strong pipe columns would do a much finer job. Just the structural engineer talking.

O.K. Tutter, Clear your mind for a minute. Try to put yourself in a relationship without problems (well maybe this is a little far fetched, but humor me for one second). Was what he did extremely insensitive? No. I think it was insensitive, but I do not think he ment any harm.

What mood where you in before the conversation? Did you predestine the conversation to turn sour by your expectations or by your mood? I am not trying to blame you for the outcome of the conversation, I think that the ball started rolling down the hill very fast in the beginning and both of you let the ball continue to roll.

What would have been a good thing for you to do was to politely let him go when you started the conversation after informing him that he was rude. He, after all, did call you to talk to you, so he was interested in talking to you. Probably, in his exitement of the fun he was having with his brother at the time, was ignoring your feelings, which was wrong.

He means no harm, I am sure and you know he loves you very much, right? He just is not being sensitive to your feelings.

Both of you need to sit down when he gets back and have an all out session. Get some pillows and bang each other over the head a few times, and then kiss and make up.

I am sorry you are feeling down. Vent here and cry here and get it all out.


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