Read your post and wanted to post one directly to you. Years ago my situation was similiar to yours. I was a OW and my husband was my MM. We lived together for about a year before we got married. My ex moved in immediately with a woman he still isn't married too. My husband's ex was angry too. Her children had visitation in our home where my two children lived. I never interfered in regards to my husband parenting his children or co-parenting with his ex. Decisions in regards to his children were and still are made between my husband and his ex. They are the parents and both are perfectly capable of making decisions regarding their children. It's only been recently that I contribute in the choices for gifts but mind you, we've been married for years. On the other hand, my ex's girlfriend acted like you in a lot of ways and it got her no where. My children are angry with her interference and his family became so angered by it that they don't even talk to her! You have a child of your own. Focus on mothering your own child and let your boyfriend co-parent with the mother. Your pushing yourself down her throat and if you continue at the pace your going at things will never get better for you. Advice from somebody that has been there....back off. Your NOT married, your NOT their step mother and I'm assuming the mother has primary custody. A judge will give him visitation but will not look too kindly on your interference. My ex's girlfriend caused him humiliation in the court room. Don't you do the same thing.