I am sitting here tonight all alone while my kids are with WS and OW again. This time they are spending the night. This hurts so bad. I can't stand the thought of them spending time w/ her. Maybe I am just jealous because when the kids are here, I have to get them to do chores, say no when they want to buy something that I can't afford, you know what I mean, just being a parent. When they are there, they get to hang out in the hot tub, play video games, and have fun. Sometimes I think I am doing so great getting on with my life and then the next minute I come crashing down with doubt and fear.

I am glad that I moved and I don't have to deal with them next door any more. I just wish I didn't have to deal with them at all. Just a pipe dream I guess since my kids still need their father in their lives (even though he is not a great role model in my eyes).

I hate feeling like this!! Anyway....just a needed vent tonight.
BH

Gross, I'm sorry you have to deal with that. My kids are upstairs sleeping, WS at work (mr. workaholic, that's him.) He is going on ?vacation? tomorrow, by ?himself? for the weekend.

You are right BG...it is gross! It is a horrible feeling. I am going to sleep in a few minutes and hopefully I will feel better tomorrow. Good luck this weekend and I hope if he does go away for the weekend, he goes alone if he isn't going w/ you and your kids!
Hugs!
BH

BH<

It's so good to see you back here. I can't begin to imagine how bad it feels to feel replaced. But while they may have fun over there, you are their mother and cannot ever be replaced. They are kids so they sometimes can't be expected to fully appreciate thier parent. You are the life raft in a sea of insanity in their lives and while they don't realize it now, they will some day.

Have you made any new friends in your new area? Are you getting out and doing things?

Hey. Just checked 12 logged in users and 3 guests. You are not alone. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I know what you mean. I still live with my WW, and I feel so alone. She is sleeping now. She is mainly my roomate, no more no less. I need more than this, and I am feeling lonely myself.

Bh, sorry you are so down, here is hoping tomorrow is a brighter day.

Hi Melody! It is good to hear from you!! In my head I know you are right and I want to accept it in my heart, but I can't seem to do that yet. I am sure each time they go there, it will get a little easier. I have met a few of the neighbors but no one to go out for coffee or anything. My mother and sister are nearby and we see each other just about every day. Thanks for the response Melody!

Thanks Dreamland! I am sorry for your pain too and wish I could help you feel better. Know that you are in my thoughts and prayers. Hopefully your wife will come out of her fog soon and the two of you can begin to heal. Hugs to you!
BH

Thanks Sing...I hope so too!
BH

Dear BH,

Families, one of the casualities in the D. I am sorry you are down. I am sure you are not surprised but that in itself doesn't lessen the pain.

I am not doing a good job of cheering you up am I? Ok, let me try again........ You know BH it was much worse before. I remember all that drama last year. I was on the edge of my seat with your posts and then when she came over?

All of it right on your face. I was always in favor of you throwing stuff over the fence LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

How that OW can look at herself in the mirror without the mirror cracking.... well maybe one day.

But your endurance amazed me. You held yourself with such dignity through it all. I got all worked up just reading your posts. Living it would have been next to impossible.

So even though now you may feel alone and sad maybe even a bit weak. There are those of us out here who see a strong and valiant woman who survived the A even when it was next door.

You are an inspiration to me.

take care,
L.

Orchid....wow....you will never know what your response means to me. You certainly made me feel so much better! I came so close to throwing his stuff over the fence (especially after seeing him jump the fence to go to her house that night!) The other idea I really got a kick out of was getting a truck load of manure to dump in her lawn! LOL! Then there was the dog poop in front of her door! You are right Orchid...it is a lot better now. And I am trying to remember that. I am also trying to remember that this is a natural progression of the A and D. It is difficult but if I can get through the drama of last year, I can get through this. Thanks so much Orchid for helping me to feel better. It is going to be a long day waiting for them to get back, but I know I will get through it. I think I'll go move some furniture around!! Hugs L!
BH

BH-

You are doing better, much, much better. You have taken this awful situation head on, you haven't shied away from it or turned tail and ran (unlike WH and OW). You stood tall in the face of the A and said "to hell with both of you, I will survive this" And doing this with it going on right next door 24/7, wow, you are an inspiration to all of us!

And then you took a strong stand, accepted the D, sold the house and moved on. That is a huge decision to make and now you are beginning to sow the fruits of you labor, you are starting a brand new life, free of the garbage of the A and on your own terms. I know it must be hard, especially with the kids and all, but as time goes on, you will get through this as well. You've done good, be proud of yourself. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Statistics are against WH and OW making it, should we start a pool to see how long they last? I'll bet that within 4 mos after they M things will start to unravel and by 6 mos, the M will be kaput. If you liked the dog-poop on the door knob idea, I got another one involving catfish bait and the central air conditioner unit.

Thanks LHS! I love the catbait idea too! YUCK!! Oh I can just picture Miss Julie now running around w/ her perfect little nose trying to figure out where the horrible smell is coming from! LOL!! Thanks so much for the kind words of encouragement! It means a lot! This site has helped me through so much. Even today I keep Plan A'ing...just for me! It may not be helping to save my M, but it is saving me.
Thanks again LHS and best of luck to you in your roller coaster ride to recovery!
BH

Dear brokenhearted,

Just read your post--I was there just a few months ago. It is such a hard time. It has gotten easier tho each time they go to exH and OW apt.

The kids are always so excited to get home--and that helps <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

I have started kind of enjoying having some time to myself--I never believed that would have be possible a few months ago. But it is true.

It still makes me sad what he has done to this family--but we will survive this. And the best part is that the kids know what was right and wrong. They are wonderful support----take care Pat

bh,

I am so sorry that you were feeling so low, I see that you have worked yourself back up that is good, I have found it really is mind <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> over matter. I choose not to let this get me, sometimes though I do have that pity party and that is ok to so long as I don't stay to long.

You have been strong and tough spirited thru this whole mess. You've had words of wisdom for others of us. You are an awesome person!!!!

Thanks for being with us!!
Dawn

Thanks Pat,
It is nice to hear that it will get easier each time they go. You are so right...we will get through this! I am so happy that you are doing so well. You sound great! My kids are going to spend some time w/ their friends since they are in the area and won't be home until around ll pm. Makes my day a little bit longer, but at least I know they are with Miss Julie! Thanks for the encouragement Pat!
BH

Hi Brokenhearted,
I think we all hear you and understand you - everybody hits times like this. Hang on.
I have to say that your case is particularly cruel, I see exactly what you mean. In my case too, Daughter spent time with WW and OM (before D-Day, before I knew it) and he pampered her basically - but parental responsibility? Bringing her to school everyday? Having to say no? Of course, that's something else, that's not for Monsieur.
But you know what? Kids aren't stupid. A mom is a mom is a mom. The lass who buys them an ice cream is cool for the moment of course, but a mom is something entirely different. You ARE the mom, and no one can take this away from you. Your children will always be, literally, a part of you.
So, whack these negative thoughts out of your mind, go for a run, have a bbq, or whatever makes you smile.

Hey Dawn! I hope the painting went well! I know that keeping myself busy helps me get through. I moved a lot of furniture today and actually most of it went back to it's original spot!! Well, at least that helped keep my mind off of my problems. Thanks for the kind words Dawn! It helps! Hugs to you! Good luck w/ the painting!

Hi Nikki - You are so right! I know that deep down...it is just trying to deal with it at the moment got me so down last night and part of today. With the help of everyone here, I have been able to pick myself up. I will be OK once everyone gets home. Until they get here, I'll just keep checking w/ my friends here and moving furniture!!

BH

Hi BH, I've followed your story and feel you pain. It's difficult to share children and still maintain your dignity. I can't even handle my H having her by himself (LOL) so I very much admire you for your strength.

Things will get better. Be strong.

I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Hi Terrified! I imagine it must be very difficult to let your 2 1/2 year old go w/ your H. Thanks for your support and your prayers. I am holding up today, keeping busy. I went over to my Mom's for dinner, so that was a nice distraction. Thank again Terrified!
BH

I just got a call from daughter and she told me they are still at WH and OW's house!! They never went to Winthrop. They are going there in a little while and won't be home until after midnight. Looks like I'm alone again tonight! Ughhh. I am glad I didn't hear from her earlier this afternoon. At least I had the afternoon thinking they were away from HER. Well, maybe watching the Patriots play will cheer me up.
BH