Can anyone out there give me their opinions on new reading matter?

I am trying to win back the love of my H who is in withdrawl and has been for some years.

Iv'e read HNHNs from cover to cover and back again the same with Mars and Venus.

I am thinking about buying Sue Ellen Pages' How one of you can bring the two of you together and Michele Weiner Davies' Divorce Remedy .

I would love to hear from people who have used these and wish to share their opinions/ results.

Any other recommendations would be gratefully appreciated.

Hi,

have you read "Surviving An Affair" by Harley? that's a pretty good one. One of his recommendations is for your husband to avoid any contact with the OW. Has your husband done that or have their paths crossed?
I have read Divorce Remedy, its excellent

here's a link to more MB books, not by Harley, there are links to take you to amazon.com for more info

MB Books

MRH;

Here's a link to the MB "reading" list:
MB Book List with Links:

Also, there's a lot of good information here:
MB Notable Posts

And here's my personal book/reading list:
Spacecase's Book List - Recommended Reading:
UPDATED 08/10/02

My "Affair Bibles"
1. Surviving an Affair - Harley/Chalmers - Clearly the definitive guidebook to sanity and hope during these turbulent times, and a must-read for anyone on these boards.
2. The Divorce Remedy - Weiner-Davis - A close second to SAA, very similar approaches and methods, less structure to the program.
3. After the Affair - Abrahms-Spring - Apart from the attempt to connect EVERYTHING to childhood experiences, a very thorough and complete guide with tremendous insight for all involved in an A.

Indispensable References
1. His Needs-Her Needs - Harley
2. Give & Take - Harley
3. Surviving Infidelity - Subotnik/Harris
4. Divorce Busting - Weiner-Davis
5. Private Lies - Pittman EXCELLENT! This is a must-read for everyone, from every side, involved in an A. Very good insight. In particular, the "Myths About Infidelity", "Guilty Secrets" (about secrets, lying, etc.), "The State of Affairs" (different types of affairs, "Infidelity and Divorce", "The Defects of Romantic Second Marriages", and "When Monogamy Works". Also, and excellent chapter on Infidelity and its effects on children, handling that, etc. Highly recommended.
6. “Tell Me No Lies” – Ellyn Bader, Peter T. Pearson

Other Books of Value
1. Fighting for Your Marriage - Markman/Stanley/Blumberg
2. Difficult Conversations - Stone/Patton/Heen
3. Conscious Loving - Handricks/Hendricks
4. Change your Life & Everyone in it - Weiner-Davis
5. Money Demons - Forward
6. Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus – Gray (In fact, the whole Venus & Mars series is great)
7. Torn Asunder - Carter
8. Love Must Be Tough - Straight Talk – Dobson

Some I did not like
1. When your Lover is Liar - Forward - Very valuable IF you're a betrayed woman (Most of the premises are based on real/perceived gender stereotypes, and for men it's too difficult to discern which could also apply to lying women.)
2. Affairs: Emergency Tactics - Rhodes - Very shallow. Only discusses 3 types of As, and attempts to make everything fit within those 3. If yours is precisely one of these, there could be some value to it, but in general, there's much better stuff out there.
3. Infidelity - Gough - Again, pretty shallow, author has been a WS and BS, hard to tell what's her personal experience/perception and what's more researched and solid.
4. Infidelity: A survival Guide - Lusterman - Way too textbook to be practical, much more of a study of the psychology of affairs. Of value if you're into in-depth psychoanalysis of affairs.
5. There were others here, but they were SO bad (IMHO) that they went right back to Half.com for sale!

On my reading list
1. Passionate Marriage (in progress)
2. How Could You Do That?! - Schlessinger
3. Codependents' Guide to the Twelve Steps: How to Find the Right Program for You & Apply Each of the Twelve Steps to Your Own Issues
- Melody Beattie
4. Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others & Start Caring for Yourself
- Melody Beattie

Hope this helps!

havent read the books you mentioned, however, read an interesting book which generally sheds light on the differences between men and women, and particulary the (mis-)communication between the two.
Personally, it helped me a great deal to understand why WW and I drifted apart in the first place. I'm a pretty much no-nonsense, analytical alpha male type guy and normally am pretty cynical about this sort of books.... however that one, I enjoyed tremendously - a good laugh to read. It also has a good section about affairs, and why they happen.
The book is called 'why women can't read maps and why men dont listen'.
Both my wife and I read it and it triggered many interesting discussions.

Thanks guys keep em coming!

I want as much info as possible.

Going crazy thanks,

H's dealings with 2 OWs were over 6 years ago and both only one night stands. I think they lead to the doubts in his mind about our relationship. I only found out about them once he had said he wanted out, and then only because I asked him outright if he had ever been unfaithful to me. The first was because he thought he would feel better, I was suffering badly from post natal depression at the time. The second was because, his words, he could.

I'm glad you found Divorce Remedy excellent as I've ordered it from amazon.

I'm from the UK so sometimes struggle to source stuff.

Thanks again.

Hey mumrequireshelp - I'm from the UK too. I got my suggested book from Waterstones.

"Torn Asunder" is pretty good (its on the list). It discusses different types of affairs