Orchid,

I was beginning to wonder if you had fallen off the face of the earth. Yes, it is really hard to get throught the month of September for me. I just have really started to think about the fact that our WA really means nothing to anyone but me know. I know that my family have put it out of their minds. I just wish I could do the same.

I would love the chance to do extra curricular things, but my time is so limited. I am working 12 to 13 hour days now and add the normal stuff that you have to do when you have a family. I have been lazy around the house lately and I am trying to catch up. I still think that you are being way to generous with you praise. I haven't and never will have to beat anyone away with a stick.

Speaking of Faith. How is she I haven't heard from her lately?

Indy

<small>[ October 01, 2002, 08:17 AM: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</small>

Indy, so sorry for your circumstances, I can totally understand why you don't want to give up. We have given it our all, have done alot of work on ourselves, this is good for us. But we also want to show our improvements in our marriage.

I always say to myself, if it takes a couple of years of pain, to end up having an awesome marriage for years to come, I will do it.

hope youre okay,
GC

by the way, I need to take a roll call of Hoosiers (kind of like the HOustonians)

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by going_crazy:
<strong>Indy, so sorry for your circumstances, I can totally understand why you don't want to give up. We have given it our all, have done alot of work on ourselves, this is good for us. But we also want to show our improvements in our marriage.

I always say to myself, if it takes a couple of years of pain, to end up having an awesome marriage for years to come, I will do it.

hope youre okay,
GC

by the way, I need to take a roll call of Hoosiers (kind of like the HOustonians)</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">GC,

It is good to hear from you. How are you?

There really hasn't been an improvemnt in my marriage, because there hasn't been a marriage since January 2001. I Have just been trying to make it day to day.

I agree about the Hooiser roll call. To tell you the truth. I really don't know how many Hooisers there are out there.

Indy

Everyone,

The WS is up to her old tricks again. She is driving me nuts. She leaves messages on my cell phone to tell me when she is going to get the kids and normally that isn't a problem. Well, my cell was stolen a couple of weeks ago and she called and left a message about getting the kids and dropping them off on Saturday and I didn't get it. She called the kids daycare on Friday to tell them that she was going to ge the kids that afternoon. They called me because they didn't have approval from me. I told them that wasn't a big deal. She got the kids and I as home that night ready for them to get home and when they didn't I thought that she was going to keep them for the weekend. I decided to go out with some friends and I didn't get home until Sunday morning. She left a note on the door telling me that she had tried to drop off the kids and since I wasn't there to call her. Well, I thought that she would drop them off in accordance with the state guidelines at 9:00 pm. That time came and went and I thought that she wanted them until Monday and that she would drop them off at day care. I called the daycare on Monday and they weren't there, so now I start to worry and since I didn't have my cell phone I couldn't call her because I didn't have there cell number.

After the phone call to the daycare I called my lawyer's office to tell them what was going on. They got really worried and thought that maybe she was trying to say that since I wasn't home that I abandoned the kids. I told them that I wanted a very detailed visitation schedule and the custody changed from joint legal to sole custody. I finished the conversation telling them that I would call them and tell them if the kids come home. As soon as I hung up the phone my WS called me at my new office. She didn't even know that I moved. She called and told me that she tried to drop them off on Saturday and left a note for me to call her. I told her about my phone being stolen and the I thought that since she didn't bring the kids back of Friday night that I thought that she was going to keep them for the weekend and that time expired at 9:00 pm on Sunday. I also told her that if she tried to call my cell she would have gotten a busy signal beacuse I suspended my account until I got my new phone. She said that she understood and that she wanted to talk on the phone. I told her that I didn't have the time to talk and she told me that I needed to make time for her when she dropped them off that night. I told her that I had been up since 3:00 am and that I wasn't going to be up to a conversation tonight. She said that she didn't care. I told her I didn't know and that I would tell her when she dropped the kids off.

She dropped the kids off and my YD was crying really hard and my WS tried to confort her for a few minutes. She really didn't settle down and I told her that I wasn't up to talking right now. I needed to get the kids baths and in bed. So, I asked her to show herself out while I was walking up stairs with the kids and I am up there for a good 5 or 6 minutes and I walk down stairs to get something for my YD off of the couch and my WS is standing in the middle of my living room. She didn't waste any time grilling me. She said that I had been keeping her from the kids and that she wanted her stuff on Saturday when she comes to get the kids. She also said that she has driven by the house and seen the car in the drive way and called from her cell and I didn't answer the phone. I told her that I was up stairs or some here in the house and I didn't hear the phone ringing. SHe continued with the fact that my son saw her number on the caller ID and told him not to answer. I told her the say thing as I did before. She then said that I was in contemp of court and I kindly asked her to leave. She said that she was going to call that night to talk some more about it and she didn't call.

Yesterday I was picking up the kids and they delivered a note to me. My WS called up there so that she could have a message delievered to my son. The note told her that she loved him and that he could call her at anytime that he wants too.

I am just going crazy about this. My lawyer seems to think that she is upset that I am trying to get a life and I am not a home waiting on her. I was wondering what you guys thought about it.

Indy

Everyone,

Saturday is looming closer and I am thinking on how I am going to do this. I want to make it as easy as possible. I am starting to get her things together again. I have even thought about putting her things on the porch when she drops them off. What do you think about that?

Indy

Indy, the question you have to ask yourself is whether you're ready to give up on your marriage or not. If not...then don't be confrontational. Especially when she is. I know it's soooo tough with kids...but find a schedule that works and DO NOT bend on it. H and I working together for our son was one of the pinnacles that brought us back together. We could both rely on each other for our sons well being so we regained respect for each other in that area, and some trust. If you put her stuff on the porch, you're just reassuring her that you want her out and that you're an a**hole...even if you aren't.

You two are having communication problems. Find a way to fix that as best as possible. Your cell phone was stolen...she didn't know this. She evidently also didn't know what time to drop off the kids..and yes, she assumed you would be sitting around waiting for her. Get a definate schedule and don't bend from it...and there won't be that problem. The worst thing is that you know when you weren't there she was probably angry and badmouthing you. This is horrible on the kids. Do your best to keep them out of a situation like that. When she wanted to talk and you didn't...it might have helped if you would have given her some alternative times that would work for you. That way you're not just avoiding a conversation...you're just putting it off until you feel more up to it. Just some suggestions....

<small>[ October 10, 2002, 08:42 AM: Message edited by: hope4future ]</small>

H4F,

I don't want to give up on my marriage. I haven't pushed the D process any. She doesn't want anything to do with being my W anymore. I try to meet her half way about seeing the kids. When she missed a pickup time I have allowed her to take them the next day. She has bashed me over the head with the state agreement that is in effect. That means Sunday at 9:00 am.

I already know that she thinks I am an a**hole. There is nothing that I can do to change that.

Indy

<small>[ October 10, 2002, 12:16 PM: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</small>

Everyone,

Well, Saturday came and went without much trouble. WS picked up the kids and agian she picked them up around noon. I look at it this way. That is her time that she is wasting so, I got to do what I needed to do and we waited for her to show. That night when she dropped them off she did a quick hand off and left. Didn't ask to talk later or about her things. So, I expected a phone call about it and got none. I have not heard anything from her since. I just find it funny that she is acting like this. I wonder what she will do next. Anyone have any bright ideas?

Indy

Everyone,

My WW went to daycare yesterday to get the kids and of course didn't call or anything. They ended up calling me and I did allow her to see them. I didn't have any plans for the night anyway. She brought them by at 8pm and told me about the project my YD got from school yesterday. She then made a beline for the door and was gone. This is the woman that had thrown a fit in my house and everything.

Well, on the way to work today I cleared out my voice mail on my cell phone and I got this message from my WW. SHe had called my office again and I hung up the phone. She wants to just play games again with calling at work knowing that I won't talk to her here. Here is what the message said.

WW: "You can hang up on me and you can forget about me that is fine, but I am not going away."

I don't quite know what to think about this. She has been in my house and she has seen that I still have all of the pictures up. If I wanted to forget about her I would have filed for the D and pushed it to completion. So, how would she come up with this? Also, what is she trying to gain with this statement?

Indy

<small>[ October 18, 2002, 08:57 AM: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</small>

<small>[ October 19, 2002, 10:49 AM: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</small>

INDY_357:

Hiya Indy, just erase the message. WW just want to make sure you can't move on with your life. Stick w/ NC as much as you can.

Ready to watch "Battle of the Californian" in World Series ?. What make me worry is that for the past 3 World Series where the Californian had to play each other, we had natural disasters. I still remember 1989 earthquake in the middle of the Giant vs A !.

-RH-

RH,

Hi, it has been awhile. I was thinking along the same lines. I really don't understand what is meant with this kind of thing. I haven't talked to her in that manner, I guess that she is allowed to do whatever you what. At least in her mind.

I think that the Angles will when that series. I have not really every liked the Giants. But, it will be weird to see a World Series there in SF. I remember the game between the Giants and the Athletics that was interupted by the earth quake.

Indy

Does anyone else have an opinon?

<small>[ October 21, 2002, 11:33 AM: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</small>

Indy,
You won't be popular around here ... PacBell park will be rocked tommorow. I think Giant the underdog will take the Angel. Yes, cursed of game 3 in the battle of Californian, make me shrivering. We have 3 natural disaster so far, coincident ... I don't know.
-RH-

Hi Indy,

My opinion?!?!? GO GIANTS!

Oh you mean my other opinion. Well you deleted your other post, so I don't know what you wrote but I agree with RH that your W has this inner desire to keep you hanging. If you like being her puppet and allow it, the consequences are yours. If you don't the consquences are still yours but you are the one calling the shots.

Ok, that's my opinion. But you already knew that didn't you??!?!? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

take care,
L.

Orchid and RH,

I would say that I have to agree with you. I thought that she was just talking about the kids. I leave her alone and don't bother her at all. She has made it clear that she doesn't want me in her life anymore. So, I allow her the space that she has demanded. Even though it is hard to do. I just let her be who she wants to be.

I don't know. I think the Angels have a good chance to beat those nasty Giants.

Indy

INDY_357,

Those nasty Giants held "fallen" Angel ... we are into 3 games series now. Actually I don't care who win as long as they play a good game !!!!. So far the series can't get any better.

-rh-

RH,

I love a good World Series. I think that the Angels' offense is to high powered for SD to play against. The were until last night 5-0 in post season games that they scored first. I think that their pitching staff and well balanced offense will make the difference. I think that the Angels will win the thing in game 6.

Indy

<small>[ October 24, 2002, 07:39 AM: Message edited by: INDY_357 ]</small>

INDY_357,

Well SF Giants is the underdog all along, we will see how good Angel's pitcher tonite. I really would like to see game 7 since it is good for the local economy, it is good for our nation to focus away from crazy DC snipper and we have not seen a good World Series fro a long time. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> . We shall see tonite.

-rh-

Sounds to me like your wife is looking for attention from you so that she knows that she still has control over you. She also wants an angry reaction out of you, so she can justify her actions.
If I were you I would do exactly what you are doing, no angry words or tone of voice but SAVE THOSE MESSAGES she leaves on a recorder or something, just in case!

Indy, you are right about those nasty Giants <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> .... 14 runs, o boy !!!. Now is 3-2 ball game. The score looks like Colts vs Steeler controlled by SteelCurtain defense. I still want game 7 <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> ... a weekend treat.

-rh-