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Me, the one who cant not call is now not calling... have noticed in last week as I have cut down on contact h contacts me for strange reasons always.... and the less I tell him what is going on with me the better.. wow, suprise suprise. anyway, working this plan... my idea of a last resort techniqe... plan a when contacting, but he shall do the contacting for a while now... tired of trying too hard. H <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
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Keep it up Honey. We'll be here for you. Remember Bramble's sound advice...DETACH.
Hugs
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thanks T, I think with less contact he is seeing what he is losing... starting more and more to demand kids... the other day.. when I sd he could come pick up kids, but I was not driving 30 min. to his neighborhood he moved to becasue of ow... to drop off kids... he babbled maybe he should meet someone new and have his own new kids he could do whatever he liked with... babble babble.. my answer..> OK, sounds good. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> Hugs, H <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />
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Honey - you sound like you are doing much better this week - and you are pulling away - I always find that when I pull away he is the one calling me trying to see what is going on - We are getting divorced but I am not sure it has sunk in that he doesn't want us so he shouldn't be hanging around - Some people get it - some other people never get it - You have to stick to your guns and think out of sight out of mind and let me tell you that really works - I know how much you want your marriage back - but you cannot fix him, help him or change him - he has to want to do that himself - I have been trying to change my husband since last October and it finally has dawned on me that I cannot do it - as much as that is what I want my family back - Right now that is not happening and it is because of him not me... Stay strong...
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Good for you, KEEP IT UP!!! Everytime you want to pick up the phone and call, post here, or call someone else. It gets really tempting, especially if you go about 3-4 days without talking.
you're doing great!
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already tempted.. assuming it will get worse.. but he is not nice to me anyway when I make contact... at night I am busier than I am at work... boredom takes over... so I want a lunch date.. which he always refuses.. he lives 15 min.l from my work.. and this is a time when we could talk with no kids... but it never happens lately anyway... agh! h <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
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Stay away Honey. Write to us...do anything but call him. It will get easier.
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Go Honey -- I know it's hard, but I think it's helping both of you for you to put the ball in his court. My trick at lunch is to get out and walk when I'm tempted to call WH or eat something bad (ok I admit about once a week I go ahead and eat something really bad for me).
You can do this.
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Honey - do not call him - you said yourself that he won't go to lunch with you anyways don't do it - Read a book or a magazine at lunch time - Call a girlfriend - don't call him !!!! Post away - Just don't do it - you don't deserve to have your day ruined by him .... Good Luck
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keeping you sane, sweetie!! you gotta make him wonder!!! especially if he is rude to you when you see him, it helps you because you won't get hurt listening to him and it keeps you from Lbing back.
remember, if he does contact you, be pleasant, put a bandaid on that tounge
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thanks, did decide I should make, short and sweet ammends to father inlaw... at least I know I am trying to do the right thing- wrote him quick and short note... saying sorry for bringing up your past and that it was what was told to me... fil denies my bringing up that he dealt drug.s... his son, told me he did.. dont blame him for the denial.. but why would ws tell me this? anyway, wrong of me to bring up and blame fil for his son acting stupid... so I wrote short apology , and sd that, and that he is free to contact kids, that I hope one day all of this will be over and there will be peace, and that I am sorry I took out my anger on him... and that my anger is going away... well something like that... kept it less than a page.. basically just the sorries.. very tempted to blame him and tell him some more about why I was mad.. etc.. but I want this to be a freeing forgiveness thing.. hopeful there will be some forgivenss towards me in him... thanks, h <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
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thanks for support... too late to change my lter to fil, since I mailed it, while I had it going good anyway... today ws is strange,... emailed me saying I am keeping him from seeing kids... funny all I have sd is you need to pick them up... gee, is that too hard? hugs, and thanks to everyone... honey <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
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ok girl, keep it up. my back is breaking, roller coaster took a big downhill ride. I think I should blame Satan for putting these negative thoughts in my head!
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gc- I am there with satan being the one trying to destroy the good and right on this earth ... It is horrid, what we face daily, and very terrible... we can overc ome... Do nothing to destroy or hinder your reatlionship.. do everything to build... it... I got that from my wheat book... I like it, how to save your M alone... anyway, hugs to you, you are at a great pt still... erase those thoughts... DELETE> honwy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
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</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Honey: <strong>gc- I am there with satan being the one trying to destroy the good and right on this earth ... It is horrid, what we face daily, and very terrible... we can overc ome... Do nothing to destroy or hinder your reatlionship.. do everything to build... it... I got that from my wheat book... I like it, how to save your M alone... anyway, hugs to you, you are at a great pt still... erase those thoughts... DELETE> honwy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">aah, thats a good one, just hit DELETE, definitely have to remember that one!!!
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