Steve read my plan B letter, suggested one change and argees that it's time to go to plan B.

Before doing that, he did ask me to ask my W one last time if there's anything she thinks can be done to avoid the D. I know what her answer will be, same as it's been for over a year, but at least I won't be leaving anything on the table.
At that point, it's time for plan B. Am I ready? Who knows, but I cannot continue to plan A, put on a happy face and continue to be there for her everytime she has a question, a problem or needs a favor as the D proceeds and the sale of our house looms. That would just "wean" her more easily through the D process while tearing me up inside. Why wait until the D is final for her to see what life is like without me? It'll be too late then.

sad dad

Sad Dad,

I read your plan B letter and I thought it hit home on what you were trying to say to WW. I would also go ahead and ask WW if anything could be done to save M. Who know what she will say, but at least you asked and it's off your chest.

I had a settlement meeting with WW and both lawyers last week. The day before this took place, I asked WW if there is any chance to fix M. At the very least, delay the D until we know this is what needs to be done. Her reply was it's too late. She brought up something that happened 5 years ago that I did that was a non-issue back then and still is today.

I said that the reason she can't try is that the OM that she works with is still in the picture and until he's gone nothing will change between us. She had no reply to this.

At least I can say that I gave 110 percent on trying to work on us for the past 1 1/2 years. She gave nothing.

Good Luck Sad Dad.

Dino

Dino,

It appears we're in the same boat. I don't recall, have you sold your house yet? Who moved out?

WS wants to put the house on the market, so I'll talk to her one last time before that. We've got a court date 9/9 to begin the financial stuff.

Good luck, Dino. Hope the settlement works out as best it can.

sad dad

I saw this yesterday, but didn't have time to post.

I'm not surprised.

I'll be here to help your plan B best I can. You've done a great job with Plan A, and Plan B will go well for you too. I'm sorry it has come to this for you, though. I'm afraid your W is going to let you go - silly woman.

When will you do it? Have you talked to her yet?

sad - I'm sorry I haven't been around to support you recently, but I know you're got a good head on your shoulders and you've thought this thru with lots of guidance. Lick the stamp, you won't be sorry.

Sad Dad,

We both still live in the house. She wants to live there after the D, without giving me anything. I would love for my boys to stay there as well, but I am worthy for half of the equity of the house. I'm not asking for a lot. I just want to move on with my life. Have a home for my boys. Again, she is the one who does not want to try to work on us. That's fine, but I need to move on.

We both don't have any cash so I'm not sure how she will do this. She could try to refinance, or through her folks but I'll let her deal with getting the money.

Good Luck

Dino

Faith1,

I'm affraid you're right. She's going to follow through with this. As long as she sees our marriage (me) as the source of her unhappiness, nothing will change. Unfortunatly, it will take getting divorced for her to realize she's still unhappy. I have some paperwork to get in order before we can sell the house. I'm in the process of doing that and will talk to her one last time when I drop it off. After that, it's plan B. I can't stop the D, but I don't have to be there to help her through it. She's on her own.

WAT,

I'm ready for this. I may as well stop being her H now. Why wait until the D is final. I appreciate all your support this past year.

Dino,

Whatever you do, fight for what you're entitled to. It's not your problem where she gets the money to buy you out. If she can't, sell the house and split the proceeds. I know you love your boys, but why should she get the house and you end up with nothing. I'm all for doing what's best for your kids, but it's a two way street.
Too many men get screwed trying to do the "right" thing.

To all, after I send the letter, I'm probably going to take a break from MB unless something unexpected happens. I've been too obsessed with trying to save my marriage and figure her out. I've got to get on with my life. Many thanks!!!

sad dad