</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by CSue:
<strong>Space, as you know "feelings just are"!
It's the behavior choices we make as a result of those feelings that impact those we care about the most.

The choices you have been making have been so wise. What a role model you are for your children. What an example of a loving husband you have been to your W.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, I've been learning. At first, many of the choices were very emotional, sometimes vindictive. Then, I started being able to make the right choices, but still fighting the feelings that I should get back at her, and now, I am really able to make those choices consciously and feeling good about them.

I do agree that my children have learned an incredible life lesson with this; from the things that can go wrong with the best of intentions, to seeing their father defend their mother even though he's been the most directly hurt by her actions. But I really felt that way, very early on I realized that I'd been at fault for many things, and that she was making decisions from a state of confusion that only got worse as time went on. I felt that she was not herself, not in control and making rational decisions, so it was only fair to not just blame her.

On the third part, the loving husband, I'm afraid I failed there. If I had been, this would never have happened. It is a failure I will have to learn to live with...I wonder if I ever will.
I can't help but feel that by the time I started being a loving husband again, it was too little, too late. Time will tell. Perhaps it was enough...

<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">No matter what the outcome, you are a better person as a result of what you've learned...and such an inspiration to all of us!! CSue </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">This part is true. I only hope I get the opportunity to share this "new" SC with my dear W...as for being an inspiration, I thank you for the thought, but don't really feel worthy of it; I've made too many mistakes...some of which we may never recover from.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by YellowRose:
<strong>Spacecase,

I am the WW....sometimes..just reading your posts makes my heart ache terribly...not just for your situation..but also for all BS's..and yes, all WS's, too.

...Well, just wanted you to know what an incredible person I think you are! I pray you are able to find some peace amidst the storm.

Best Regards,

YellowRose</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">YR; I don't know you but I look forward to getting to know you better here on MB. I'm glad my experiences have somehow touched your heart, and I hope they help you and your H in some small way. (Just don't follow too closely; much of it has been trial and error, more error than trial! LOL!!!)

I thank you for your prayers, and offer mine as well.

<small>[ August 15, 2002, 10:30 PM: Message edited by: Spacecase ]</small>

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by hope4future:
<strong>Space, you really got it together well! I think your thinking is right on and you'll know when you haven't got any more to give. Your appt with Steve is Monday...which can seem like an eternity...but yet isnt' really. I hope he's able to help you come up with a consistant plan...I know this waffling is probably worse than an ineffective Plan A.

If you need any help with the PC, that's what I do for a living (and it sounds like YR does too!!) 2longs idea of the new one was hilarious!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thankfully, something happened and I was able to reel it in and get it together again. Can't tell you what.
I have plenty more to give, and it'll be there for when the time is right. For now, I just need to get myself into a more stable situation, and settle down for the long haul. Steve will help me on Monday, and we'll be back on course.

Thanks for the offer of help with the pc, but I'm an old hand at that, been building and taking them apart since 1984-85, when DOS was king! LOL!!! (Geez! I haven't seen a C> prompt in a while!) <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />
Yes, 2L was very quick and creative on his feet with the assembly-line idea, but he's just a Mac guy, what does he know?!?!?! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by determination:
<strong>Spacecase,
I think it's very inspiring that you are continuing to return bad with good.
BTW, I don't know if this is too out there or granola for you, but the kind of attitude Pepperband was talking about, focussing on yourself and worrying less about others, reminded me of the I Ching (Chinese book of changes.) I've been using it a lot the last few months. (There are lots of versions in the big bookstores.) Just in case you need an extra something till Monday.</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks for the thought, D. I will check it out...I need all the help I can get! LOL!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by J.R.:
<strong>JR: Well it felt like forever, but it was "only" 9 months. That's less than SC, and half of Lor's 18 month Plan A!!</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">To be fair and accurate, my Plan A only started aseveral months after DDay (Aug/01), when I discovered Divorce-Busting, probably Jan-Feb/02, which then changed to MB Plan A in March, so technically, about 6 to 6 1/2 months of actual Plan A.

<strong> </font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">
In hindsight, I wish I'd done 3 months of Plan A, starting d-day, confronted OM, then another 3 months of Plan A... then Plan B. But hindsight is 20-20. (In real hindsight, I wish we'd communicated better, not ignored our S's EN's, etc. - avoid the whole thing.) </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, I don't have any hindsight yet, but I strongly suspect I will feel like I should have gone to Plan B sooner...but we'll see...stay tuned!!

Spacecase and all other night-owls:

Just thought I would pop in before I go to bed to see what has been going on...and to make sure all my fellow MB'ers get to bed at a decent hour!! It's not Friday night yet, folks! LOL....

Hope4Future and SC: I'll leave the PC repair to y'all...and to my H who does the same (although he is looking for work right now). I'm a database (Informix/DB2..and Oracle..sigh)and ERP systems girl.

OK - everyone get as much sleep as they can...emotional rollercoasters are even more difficult to deal with when you are tired....s'aright..takin off my 'Mom hat' and heading to bed.

Sleep Well & God Bless Everyone Big Bunches!!

YellowRose

Ok...Spacecase and YR's hubby..you're HIRED!!! Just opened up a little shop downtown and need assistance badly. I'm training a novice...but he's just that...a novice. I'm hoping he'll catch on quick.

I've actually been a computer geek since I was 8 (1980.) The computer was a glorified calculator as I remember it. Then we went to a TRS80 and had to write our own programs. Dad was too cheap to buy games, so we subscribed to a magazine that would give you the program all written out, and we would type for days. If you had one comma where there should have been something else...the program wouldn't work. And the games...LOL!! All text, no graphics. "You are walking through the woods...you can go west on a rocky road or east on a pebble path" "Go west" "Bleep bleep bleep An OGRE is attacking you!" "Get mace" "Hit ogre with mace" It's no wonder I got so good at typing" I'm so glad we have CD's these days!!!

I didn't get the chance to go inside until we got our own in 1992. Hubby walked downstairs after giving in to my begging to get a computer only to find me with it on its side and all the guts strung out over the office. He just looked at it...and walked out of the office. LOL!!! Smart man!

Poor 2long...now I see the error in his ways. Mac? What was he thinking? LOL!!! The only Mac for me is a Big Mac. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

SC:

"Yes, 2L was very quick and creative on his feet with the assembly-line idea, but he's just a Mac guy, what does he know?!?!?! "

Hey, I resemble that remark!! I'll have you know that I've built 3 of my own PCs (the despicable thangs!) myself from parts. Though it is true that I've taken apart and reassembled a lot more Macs than that, I still need a PC to run a specialized camera I own.

Yeah, we had like 4 PCs and 6 Macs before the fire. Now we've just got one computer each. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by 2long:
<strong>SC:

"Yes, 2L was very quick and creative on his feet with the assembly-line idea, but he's just a Mac guy, what does he know?!?!?! "

Hey, I resemble that remark!! I'll have you know that I've built 3 of my own PCs (the despicable thangs!) myself from parts. Though it is true that I've taken apart and reassembled a lot more Macs than that, I still need a PC to run a specialized camera I own.

Yeah, we had like 4 PCs and 6 Macs before the fire. Now we've just got one computer each. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I'm impressed, 2L! And since you resemble that remark, I'll refract it!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by hope4future:
<strong>I've actually been a computer geek since I was 8 (1980.) The computer was a glorified calculator as I remember it. Then we went to a TRS80 and had to write our own programs.

Poor 2long...now I see the error in his ways. Mac? What was he thinking? LOL!!! The only Mac for me is a Big Mac. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Oh, dear, don't EVEN remind me of the Trash-80 days!!! that's torture! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> At least you used it for games, I had to use it for business!!!

I agree with you: the only good mac is a Big Mac!!! LOL!!!

SC, H4F:

"Originally posted by hope4future:
I've actually been a computer geek since I was 8 (1980.)"

Heck, I don't think I ever WAS 8! 1980? Gee, if I wasn't so damned old, I bet I could REMEMBER 1980! My introduction to computers was in about 1973. (I forgot, I took a computer programming class in 1973, also. APL 360! Anybody remember that one??). I was taking a physics class at the local JC, and my dad had just spent 450 bucks on one of the first HP35 calculators. None of us had ever SEEN a calculator with trig functions on it until then (the "Bomar Brain" only had arithmetics), and I was still using my dad's old mahogany and ivory slide rule and trig and log tables to do math.

"The computer was a glorified calculator as I remember it. Then we went to a TRS80 and had to write our own programs."

By 1981, I was using an HP 9845 computer with 8-inch single-sided floppies and a built-in thermal printer. What a beast that was. HP basic was gibberish and took forever to convert from "regular" basic.

"Poor 2long...now I see the error in his ways. Mac? What was he thinking? LOL!!! The only Mac for me is a Big Mac.
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Oh, dear, don't EVEN remind me of the Trash-80 days!!! that's torture! At least you used it for games, I had to use it for business!!!
I agree with you: the only good mac is a Big Mac!!! LOL!!!""

You silly little people! Years ago, a friend of mine had the perfect comeback for all you Bill Gates Clone people. When someone asked him "Why do you use Macs? Woudln't you rather have something compatible?" he replied "Compatible with WHAT? Certainly not the human mind!!"

I'll have you kids know that my Mac can run Windows (I use it for applications that don't run in MacOS) and now with OS X, I can use it as a unix box as well (for the serious stuff I do at work). All on the same laptop.

"Unbridled Modesty," that's ol' 2long!

<small>[ August 16, 2002, 10:05 AM: Message edited by: 2long ]</small>

Hi:

Since everyone is on the wayback machine, how about this? I started on a Honeywell 200 mainframe 128k real core (see wired together circular magnets) using Easycoder a binary language for the Honeywell. It had reel to reel tape drives and card readers for input.

Yes, I keypunched cards and sorted them before running them through a compiler program on the system. Man am I old.

I got to run and have my Geritol.

Jack

wmiw:

Oh yeah? Well, I'm so old that I can remember when you could put your hand on the ground and still feel the heat from the radioactive decay going on in the Earth's core. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I'm SO OLD that my mother sat behind Jesus in the third grade! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

<small>[ August 16, 2002, 10:38 AM: Message edited by: 2long ]</small>

You're kidding! Now we're competing on who is older?!?! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

I am <strong>WAY</strong> younger than both of you, and happy about it! ROFLMAO!!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

I have shoes older than you! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Hey 2Long:

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I'm SO OLD that my mother sat behind Jesus in the third grade! </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yeah, but I was the Teacher <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" />

You guys are too funny.

Jack

I guess it says something about the resilience of the human spirit that we can joke and laugh while in such trying circumstances!

This is an incedible community! Thanks!

PS: PEP! I'm trying to read "Passionate Marriage"...my head is spinning! I totally CANNOT keep up with this guy's line of thinking! (I guess it's been too many years since college textobooks LOL!!!)

Yeah,
and in a few years, one of 2longs - ahh lets say "young relatives" will ask " Grandpa, were you on Noah's ark?" and he will say "No, why do you ask?" and the reply will be " If you weren't on Noah's ark, why didn't you drown?"

I think I'll start a humor site, and just link it to this thread. Probably make a million in a few weeks.

SS

Well, I'm so old that I....I....hmmm. Can't seem to remember. It was a good one, though!

Passionate Marriage is NOT an easy book to read. I've read it more than twice ... but less than three times <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> ... and it penetrates my conscious mind in a different way each time. I am a "high-lighter" reader underlining passages... no one could borrow my books because I write notes all over the inside and make comments and ask MYSELF questions ... I am certifiably nutz.

What are your recreational reading preferences Space? Give me an idea of the type of reading you enjoy.

Pepper <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />