The latest is that the workplace A has finally come back to bite my H right in the [censored].

My H had to, for all intents and purposes, demote the OW the other day because she simply wasn't working the hours needed to maintain her position. She said she understood and they left it at that. After hearing from another member of the management staff that she was really upset about it and had some pretty ugly things to say, he went back to her to make it clear that she was demoted "for no other reason" than the ones discussed. She replied that she didn't appreciate being "picked on" and "badgered" and my H, feeling that the conversation was getting too personal, walked away.

After explaining the chain of events, he expressed a serious concern about the safety of his job and our M. When I asked him why he's just now coming to what should have been an obvious realization, he disclosed to me that she had made several attempts to renew contact several weeks ago, and didn't tell so as not to increase the anxiety I was already feeling. He knows that was unproductive because now I have anxiety about the fact that he never told me and why. He also said that he didn't see any reason to tell me because he never responded. Now he's afraid that she may "open up" to a few people at work about what happened, in an attempt to get him fired and that to further her attempts to upset him, call me to make more waves.

I have to admit that it triggers anger over the A because now we, as a family are at risk of losing something else beacuse of his irresponsible decision but I'm trying to be supportive and establish a cohesiveness that I'm sure he's not expecting.


Anyhow, he realizes she's not the person he thought she was (trustworthy, remorseful, ya know... all that fog talk) and is worried that she may be someone who's very resentful of his choice of W and family over her. (DUH!)

He's putting in to transfer to another restaraunt; hope he gets it; this could get ugly.

((( DANNI )))

"A has finally come back to bite my H right in the [censored]"

Well .... the painful consequences of our poor choices are what keeps us from repeating the same mistakes.

If this bite in the [censored] hurts BIG TIME ... H will be educated the hard way.

The consequences are not usually pretty ... but what we gain from the experience can be.

Stay on the high road Danni ... the view is better from there!
<img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

pepper <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">...now we, as a family are at risk of losing something else beacuse of his irresponsible decision but I'm trying to be supportive and establish a cohesiveness that I'm sure he's not expecting. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You made the right choice--to move toward complete recovery and not set yourself back 2 notches through resentment. It's tempting tho, I'm sure... Hang in there! You guys will get through this. It had to happen for your xWS to see xOW's true colors so in a way, it's okay. Now, he can get that transfer and physically LEAVE this chapter behind for once and for all!!!

Some OW are very spitefull... My "sister" wanted to hurt me so much, that she decided to sleep with my H (several times), and then cry "rape"!!!

Don't let the FOW get to you... she can hurt you, but she can NOT BREAK YOU!!!

Good luck!

-mc needs your help

I'm sorry to hear this. Your H has a real problem because not only can she talk to others in the company about him but she may have the basis for a sexual discrimination law suit. He not only had an affair with a co worker but a subordinate. It may be a good time for your H to start job hunting just so that he can have a fall back position.

He needs to make sure that he is never alone with her again. If I were he I'd make sure that all communications with her were in writing when possible.

Danni,

Your FWS needs to be VERY careful here. If he is her supervisor, she could claim quid pro quo sexual harassment - claiming that SHE ended their relationship and now he is treating her differently because she "refuses" to be sexually involved with him anymore. In actuality, if she is still pursuing him despite the fact that he has ended the A, she is sexually harassing him. IMHO, FWH should preempt any possibility that she will retaliate against him by falsely accusing him of sexual harassment by going to his boss, himself, and telling the boss about the A and that FOW is now pursuing him in the workplace despite the fact that he has ended the A. To support his position, he should show the supervisor whatever evidence he may have to show her efforts at trying to resume the A.

Just my thoughts,

Brit's Brat/BS-41
WH-42
DS-10 months this Saturday
Current Status: Recovery - if you can call it that.....