Hello,
I am new here and I just don't know what to do any more. I have only been married for 14 months. The last 8 have been pure H**l. Nothing but arguing and being told to leave that I am not loved anymore or wanted. There is no affair on either party. I was out of work for 8 months and have just recently gone back to work. I finally got tired of being told to leave my home, so one month ago today I got an apartment for me and my two son's. One week later my husband lost his job which included his home. I am not a mean or vendictive person so of course when I found out about the loss of his job and his home I brought him back to live with. Last night we had a big blow up, and my hsband told me that the only reason he came back with me was because I begged him to. I then told him if that was the only reason that he came back then I didn't want him here. Right now he is upstairs asleep in the small bedroom where he slept last night. Can anyone tell me what I can do to try to fix my marriage, because I do love this man more than I can ever tell him or anyone. This is killing me. I told him I would not beg him or anyone else to love me. Please, Please tell me what I can do to try to save my marriage.

Cathy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Confused]" src="images/icons/confused.gif" />

Wow, that's an awful lot of anger after such a short time of marriage! Can you identify the main problems? Is it needs that aren't being met? Are there addictions that are affecting things? What do your fights tend to center around? More information would be helpful. Take care!

MMW,

I am sorry you are going through this. The beauty of the concepts of this site is that an affair need not have happened for you to put this stuff to good use. The information here is geared towards infedelity but anyone can use the plans to better their marriage and life.

I suggest that you read everything you can on the main site. Click here to get started.Main Site

It sounds like money may be tight with only yourself working, but if you can afford it try to get yourself into counseling. These discussion boards will be a great source of comfort and support for you, come here often to vent and get that support.

No matter what ANYONE tells you, know that you are worthy of love and being loved.

Welcome to Marriage Builders

jd

Yes, money is our biggest problem, it always has been. The fact that he just lost his job doesn't help any at all. But I found out today that his losing his job is his own fault. He didn't work for 3 days after I left and got fired for that. He went bullistic after he found out that I knew this and has walked out the door now saying I don't believe him. But I can only go by what I am told. I didn't ask this of anyone, they just came to me and told me. They felt that I ought to know. His physical needs are being met in every way. I have no problem with that aspect of our marriage. He is just the sort of man that feels he has to control everyone and everything around him, and he can't stand it that I have finally got the guts to tell him to quit blaming me for everything that happens, because everything is not my fasult and for him to take responsibility for his part in our problems. Thanks for welcoming me to this board and I will be here for advice and comments as often as I can. Once again thank you for making me feel that I can and do deserve love.

Cathy <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hey Cathy,

New marriages are very tough. I remember when WW and I first were married, very rocky. The problem was we were both very stubborn people and we both had to learn how to find middle ground. We eventually were able to work through this and learned how to live together. Now, we rarely argue. I think age and wisdom helped us both.

If you can think of a solitary event that is causing the conflict, then the conflicts are being caused by a failure of both of you to comunicate and find common ground. Start out by reading all that Marriage Builders site has to offer. Next time you two talk, try not to add fuel to the fire.