To change the title of the thread, go to your first message ... and click on the edit icon ... the thingy just right of the sunglasses. Once you do that, you can edit that post (but you don't need to) AND change the title(if you want to) ... but it has to be the first post.

Glad to have helped you in a small way.

Blessings

Pepper <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Hi MC

Pepper had alot of good info for you. I'm glad you found someone who could help you find more info on your sisters instability.

From the response on your other thread from bigsister, I think she will be very responsive to reading the book when you are finished.

At this time, you won't be able to do much about your other sister, but it hopefully will give you some info to help understand the why's. Remeber "knowledge is power", even if that power is just understanding. Maybe it will help you to get past the feeling like the victim stage. It sounds to me like the true victim is your sister, trapped in her own persoanlity dysfunction

I read a really great book a couple of years ago "The Four Agreements". It's a quick read and really stresses the "don't take it personally" issue. It doesn't focus on the mental illness aspect, but just how we tend to personalize others behavior and thoughts in general.

I think once you really "get" that it brings about quite a bit more peace than you've probably ever felt. I used to get a clenched stomache and nervous when facing certain people or situations. Now, even though I don't look forward to those meetings, I don't dread them. I can sit through one of my husbands family gatherings and feel at ease. For me, that's a major feat.

Anyway, I'm sure glad to hear you might be finding some answers to your questions. It's hard enough to go through an A...to add a relative with a personality disorder in the mix...UGH! Good luck!!

MC

Thanks for the change. It increased my comfort level a lot. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Let us know how you're doing ... and how your H is doing.

Pepper <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

Another great book if you're still thinking about the Borderline Personality Disorder possibility is "I Hate you - Don't Leave Me". Barnes and Noble and Borders both carry it. Forgot the author. It's a terrific book for coping family members of a BPD. My sister has BPD, and it's helped me A LOT to depersonalize her horrible behavior.

Good luck!

I got the book (Stop walking on eggshells) today... I am already halfway through it!!!

Thank you all for your insight. I never thought I would be dealing with the situation I am in. but the advice and support I have received here has helped me more than I could ever put in words!!!

-mcnyh

REALLY, REALLY, REALLY bad day... my pathetic excuse for a sister is STILL on a mission to destroy my life... She won't stop, and it is actually getting WORSE!!!!

Her H has a gun (and ammo) at their house (right down the street), and I am living in fear that one of them will use it!!!!

What the hell can I do?????

-mcnyh