Hello again! Well yesterday when i was on my lunch break the OW came into the shop I work in, the girls in there said her eyes were everywhere she was obviously hoping that I was there. My question is this I will soon obviously have to serve her how do i act I certainly dont want her getting the idea I agree with what they are doing.
Went to an event the other day & i didnt find out until the next day that she was there with her daughter. My H was there with his mate but they H & OW weren't standing together as a couple which i find interesting althought they go away on holidays together in areas where we have friends so i wonder whats going on...I think I am being tested to see if i will crack & I won't..I love my H & although I LB my backside off b4 we seperated I have had time to sit back & just watch.have done a lot of learning on here & with Steve Harley & am plan Aing myself like crazy so only good can come of this but this face to face contact ( i am on the checkout in a supermarket so if she comes to me i will have no choice but to serve her) any suggestions??

"How do I react?"

>With a *Cheshire Cat Grin*
>With direct eye contact
>With a soft melodic voice
>With courtesy beyond reproach
>With a comment about her groceries ... "lovely peaches, these"
>With a confusing parting remark such as ... "thank you for your kindness"

She will be dumbfounded!

Pepper <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

<small>[ August 18, 2002, 01:36 PM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

Hi,

I 2nd Pepper's suggestions but if she buys some prunes, I'd refrain from making a comment about it. LOL <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

You are the better person and the OW does have the right to shop wherever she chooses. As the customer it will be hard to keep her out of the store. So let everyone be on the alert and let them protect you. If should run into her, step aside and let someone else run her over (figuratively speaking of course).

Hang in there, you are doing good. Continue to vent here as much as you need.

L.

Why don't you give her advice about the things that you H likes???? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
Tell it to her with a very sweet voice. You might want to tell her that he loves the chocolate sauce and that you both have alot of fun it, mostly when he tops it with whipped cream on your body. oopppppsss this was really sarcastic, sorry. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

BB

"lovely peaches, these"

ONLY a woman could get away with that one! LOL!!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I don't mean to make light of your dilemma, WO, I think Pep's suggestion is the absolute best. Tough to pull off, but extrememly effective if you're up to it!

I was a waitress once, and the woman I had taken her BF from was seated in my section with a friend of hers. I was young (20) and I don't recall how it was she knew who I was. Her and the guy I eventually ended up living with, where on the rocks and close to breaking up when he met me. What's funny looking back now that I think of it, our relationship ended up basically the same way!

Anyway, she was scouling a lot when she first realized she was in my section. I went over and was just as sweet and professional as I could be. I made sure their food was perfect and on time, and their drink was always full.

They ended up leaving me a larger than normal tip. I think in the end, she didn't want to look like a cheapskate, after I gave them good service. I acted like it didn't bother me at all, and even began to forget they were in the restaurant.

You have control over the situation, she is entering into your turf. I told the other waitress's who she was, and they watched out for me. She could tell she was amongst MY friends, and we could **** with her food... lol (I've never been the type to do that though, I just am too nice I guess...)

WO,

Do you know her? Are you suppose to know her would be a better way to put? If you have found out by other means who she is, treat her as if you didn't know better, just like Pepper said.

Don't acknowledge her in anyway, she wins per say if you do, as that is what she is trying to do is get your goat, don't let her, she will walk out fuming and you will smell like peaches!

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hi everyone & thanks for responding to my post & all your suggestions...I would love 2 do the chocolate sauce thing but I think I will stick with the hi are you enjoying your day kinda one YES! she knows me well, was a very good friend of mine used to come up & drink coffee at our place & smoke my cigarettes most afternoons after she finshed work so she knows me well & I guess will be expecting a reaction but won't be getting one,I think they hope that if they make it hard for me i will leave the area but NO SIR! this gal is staying put right where she belongs one question my H wants nothing to do with me at all i thought of sending him a general chatty email but not sure as he may just reply with "get over it we will never be together again" which are the words that echo in my ears...Maybe he's not allowed anything to do with me i dont know no feedback on that my guess tho is that he doesn't want to let down the wall that he has built around himself to protect himself from me..Any thoughts on this one Steve Harley said it was Ok to send H the odd mobile text message but to make sure that it was not too needy sounding but also not too sour he said there is a fine line & to think to myself does that sound too sweet or too sour either way add a little sweetness or a bit the other way.. any suggestions on text messages would be great H needs lots of admiration & because of so little contact I'm at a loss as to how to go about it. Thanks heaps guys & gals!!! Love ya all....Something i noticed as to how easy it is to be vunerable to someone, a young guy at work has shown a great interest in me (more as a mother figure, he can talk to me about girls & stuff he is only 25) but I found myself thinking wow this is how easy it is to feel vunerable (don't worry I wouldnt even considering going there) & get close to someone when they show you attention & want to be around you all the time it was freaky but i guess someone who was needy enough could tip the balance in their favour if they wanted to & it made me realise just how easily an affair can happen was a big eye opener for me i can tell you...

why don't you just drop a few lines saying:
Was just thinking about our good days. Gosh you were a great lover! I will never forget those good days.
take care

He cannot stop you from thinking, can he?? And I'm sure he thinks of the good days himself. I don't think this would be offending anyone and I don't think it sounds needy either. You're just sharing your thoughts. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

take care
BB