I just read statistics about infidelity, it was by a woman who wrote the Monogamy Myth (no, she is not advocating cheating, it's actually dispelling the idea that most marriages today are monogamous, and that cheating only happens in "bad" marriages by "bad" people. From various studies and she cites them, between 50-80% of marriages today will face infidelity.

it is so hard to not get pessimistic about life and people when this can be true. I just don't understand it- no one would want to be cheated ON, but the same people will cheat! Everyone knows that it's hurtful and wrong, but they still do it. Everyone knows that it will have a harmful effect and influence their children, and they still do it. With the divorce rate being what it is today, and when people see what infidelity does to others, I've seen on this board people taking anti-depressants, trying to commit suicide, etc, WHY WHY WHY do they still do it? And it seems that the whole situation is getting worse!!! I read a post somewhere about half the people in their office having various affairs and the co-workers view the spouses as the outsiders. This is so sad and just sick, I can understand why there are so many people today who just don't want to get married. Who would, with those statistics to look forward to?

I also don't understand how the WS often think the OP is their soulmate or true love. AAAAAAHHH! If they divorced their spouse and moved in/married the OP, they would see that once there is housework to do, bills to be paid, and both parties let their hair down, so to speak, they would feel the same way they did with the Previous spouse and possibly find another OP! Don't people get that it is a FANTASY with the OP? That both parties are showing only their best sides and not showing their real selves? Don't people realize that they can great sex with about a billion people on the planet and it is not just the OP that makes them feel so "passionate and wanted"? I bet if my WS lived with his OW on a day to day basis and dealt with real issues in REAL life and not their fantasy world, they would not be feeling the same way they are now....he'd prob. be having the same "issues" he says he has with me.

Wow. Sorry- I meant what I wrote, but I hope it didn't make anyone reading this upset. I guess I just needed to really vent. I've just started to rally do Plan-A, and it is SO HARD. I feel compltetly depressed and totally drained, and my WS is off having fun without me again this evening. This is such a great site, thanks for reading and letting me blow off MUCH- needed steam!

Libbie,

Venting and blowing off steam is what we are about here!!!

I do have a STBX that moved the OW from FL to UT where he is stationed with the military, I live in SD. Had to move her out when kids where coming to visit, and his boss had to be told. The military still frowns on adultery, he may lose his job. The grass wasn't greener, he is finding that out, but it costs so many people dearly. Told OD that he wasn't sure that he wanted to marry her right away, as he wanted to make sure. Her sister and baby moved in with them from Las Vegas. Probably not what he really wanted in his life. Too Bad!!!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial"> I feel compltetly depressed and totally drained, and my WS is off having fun without me again this evening. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Let him have his fun, you are not to worry about it!!! Hard I know!!! You find something for yourself to do, so that you are not setting around and thinking too much!!!

The one thing that I did not do that I so wish that I had done when this all started and I found this site. Write down what your plan A is. Keep a journal of your progression. Log the things that WH noticed and what his reactions were!!

Keep posting keep reading, you will com out of all of this a better person.

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Hey, Libbie!
Glad you're back. I'd started this thread for you:

For LIBBIE6...here's my story...