Anyone remember that childhood album, I had it and I wish I could find it... knowing me I might... it might be at mom's house... I loved the album as a 1st grader. dont remember who sings the song... but that is it... actually starting to feel good about being ME... without ws.. and feeling better and better.. who needs someone constantly telling me how bad I am.

Recovery takes 2!

HONEY

Honey:

Glad to hear you're feeling better! Don't know the song. Guess I'm too old!

I would beg to differ: reconciliation takes 2, recovery can take 1! YOU will recover, whether your M does or not.

Ok, on the downside, let me add.. waiting is horrible... but I am focusing on creating more of a life for me like it would b eif he did not come back! So that way I am moving forward for me and the boys... hard as heck I admit...!

thanks again, H

OK Honey - Now I have a question that I ask myself all of the time -

"Do you really need him?? or Do you just want him?"

Again I am trying to completely let go - even with the divorce proceeding I am still wishing that he wants to come and he doesn't - he likes to come over and hang around and be my best friend which sometimes is probably just as hard to deal with as the verbal abuse - because it just gives me a touch of what our life used to be me. The person that he is now and he isn't a bad person - he just is lost and I know that I cannot recover him I can only recover myself - I can always love him - but I have to go on by myself with my two kids without him. Though he is there all of the time -but not really there I think most of the time he is there out of guilt - Has your husband been around??? Have you been calling him as much??? - You haven't been posting any major crisis in awhile so that is a good thing right??? Won't it be nice someday to have a nice normal life???

thanks Maw- no crises! I have been avoiding him, due to cruel antics. Now, my h does not come to my house anytime lately, claims he hates it, and there are too many bad memories... i dont even know what he is talking about... tears come to my eyes.

My parents own our home, due to our credit problems, and we had planned to buy it, now I do.... alone.

Anyway, due to my h's personal history of losing jobs, being unstable and not buying me a house... that was included in my definition of a good husband prior to marriage... Well, well, I was forgiving and patient, I just wanted a partner to work with me on this...

I used to LB, and tell him it was my house. Because of my parents owning it, guess he took that a lot more seriously than I thought.. but even before he moved out... I had apologized, and we were looking at getting it in both our names.. h had a good job and our credit was improving.

Anyway... long story, but h claims our home is full of bad memories... we have lived there 4yrs.3 mths yrs of the 10 yr marriage, but before that we probl lived in 10+ places, due to credit issues and problems...

it was truly a godsend for my parents to help us, and I had begged them... well not totally but it was very generous of them to buy this house and be willing to give all equity to us when we could buy it.. after fixing credit.

H has ego issues here- I think.

He is from Georgia and want to be the MAN.

Unfortunately he does not act like the MAN> in some ways, problem there, right?

Sorry my anger must be coming out a bit now....

Well, well..

Trying to get to acceptance, and I guess that means giving up a bit.?

Thanks, HONEY <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

2long, thanks for reminding me I can recover alone. HONEY

Honey, youre getting stronger day by day, good for you, keep it up!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Honey:
<strong>2long, thanks for reminding me I can recover alone. HONEY</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Honey, that is what we have been trying to tell you for months.

Personally I think there are 2 kinds of recovery; personal & marriage. I don't think you can have a marriage recovery UNLESS you have personal recovery. However, as I have no expericne with recovering a marriage, I can't say for sure, this is just based on reading this site for OVER 3 yrs now.

Wishing you peace.

Honey - you are sounding great - At least your parents helped you out - that is really good - at least you have someone to fall back on - I do believe that we deserve to be happy - I think of all of the crap that I have been through and I think my god will I ever be able to find someone - someone I trust - someone that I am willing to love as much as I love my husband -??? I don't have the answers to these questions - but I liked my life how it was before all of this - Frankly it was boring - now I am trying to spice it up a bit and I believe my husband is shocked at my changes - We do have to recover by ourselves first - because being rejected by someone and betrayed is a life altering experience that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy - but we have to become stronger because of it - we are mothers and we need to teach our children the wrongs and rights in the world... We have to become strong without them - I am thinking that I actually might hit some sort of recovery when I go to court- I am not sure why this happened to us - or continues to happen but - I just hope you and I continue to get stronger - and that we continue to make it through this - good luck to you - and I hope you continue on your upward swing - don't let him bring you down....