boards during crisis time? It would seem to me that befriending representatives of those who are actively cheating with other people's significant others, would be counterproductive to healing. I can understand wanting to understand the type of person who would cheat and why he/she would do it, but not why a BS would want to fit in with cheater membership? Wondering because I have seen those, for example, that post here and also post on prominent cheater boards as cozy members, and wonder what the rationale is?

It would seem to me that you really don't want an answer to your question.........

That you would really just like to have something to take back to your board or another board and use it to start a good bashing.

I've visited your link before.

I find it appalling.

You are mistaken. Whether someone chooses to read the SA site is his/her choice, I know that cheaters don't care for being made fun of there. But I honestly wonder about this, don't understand the rationale. It may be coincidence that your name same as one that posts on cheater board, but if not, how about a direct answer?

I think it is a valid question. For me it is.

Now, about the "appalling" statement. Using that line of basic logic, let's apply it further - if one is appalled by a board that only lampoons or spoofs, then I'd assume one would be more appalled at the board where these posts are made in reality, and even more appalled by those who are actively (and sometimes encouragingly) participating in infidelity. Does that line of reasoning make sense? I think it does. I mean, some folk making satirizing posts about cheaters (based upon the cheaters' own words) certainly is not more appalling than the real thing talked about on another board, or practiced in real life!
jm2cw

I think Dac is trying to call me out, it will only hurt you to stay in this game, so back away Miss Priss - jump back in only if I go down for the third time.

Dac, yes, I do live in Wisconsin like you posted on your other board. I assume you tracked IP #'s of people that looked at your archives? My email address is my real name, I live near Madison in a really small town - I can tell you the name if you think you might know it. I am seeing a therapist as someone also suggested/wondered, it's going well but considering my issues are ongoing I can always keep you updated.

HISTORY:

I went to the site owned by Dac, canofun and scarletA, and found myself the topic of some pretty nasty jabs. Rude, mean, cruel, they made fun of my birth defect.

What happened? I have a birth defect. I was exposed to DES. I have 2 uteruses, 2 cervices, and 2 vaginas - also some other complications I explained via email to Dac and pray she has the class to not describe them since they are completely irrelevent.

One of the mods at gloryb was leaving, frustrated and upset, we were joking and telling him to stay.

All who know me are aware of my eternal offbeat humor. I told him I'd show him my 2 vaginas if he'd stay.

I have my reasons for posting where I do, and I don't need to justify them to Dac or any of the "ladies" who spend their day lampooning others.

Webster considers a lampoon: "A written attack ridiculing a person, group, or institution."

I can only imagine how proud her Mother is of her site. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

I am proud that I can associate with people regardless of who they sleep with. One little part of their life does not define who they are as a person. The women on TOW that I have become friends with are the ones that aren't "slutty ho's" or whatever you call them on your site. In fact I'd be hard pressed to find a "slutty ho" gal on that site.

Mind you, I am not saying they have no sins... But last I checked, sitting around making nasty remarks about people wasn't getting an A+ in biblical studies 101.

I have posted here and there my nicknames for both sites, I think they are kind of similar...

Here: justthewife
There: hadahusband

I am a member of other boards and lists, one for migraine headaches, one for chronic pain patients, caregivers, children of DES, my friend in town has a fibro email list so I get that too. If you would like my posting names, I'll be glad to let you or anyone know.

My email is at the bottom of all my posts here, and for backup I have elizabethwilkie@hotmail. I am on aol im as xanaxqueenofwi, xanax is the medicine used for severe nerves... I'm sure you can find some reason to trash me about that.

I am 32 years old and can pretty much decide who I want to play with.

I actually don't come here for the support anymore Dac. You got a fact wrong in explaining me on your board. My marriage had gone sour before the accident. I found out the true extent of all the really icky stuff after, but he cheated before.

I come here for support 2% and TO support 98%.

I have learned in the past few days that sometimes the people who are your friends are not the ones who look like you or act like you.

The people who are your friends are the ones who will stop what they are doing when you say - is anyone there? and no matter what their story is or yours, they will take the time to lend a shoulder.

And then the next day they'll say - you ok?

They won't go and tell their friends all about this crazy idiot freak who has some serious problems.

I know that you aren't a known person here, so I'll draw a bit of attention to this post for you.

I hope you find happiness and true friends.

And what they are.

E

pearly - first post, huh?

Yep, what is described here is VERY appalling. Ever heard of anything more real and appalling than my sig line?

What do you want to say or accomplish here? Anything noble?

E, the LB fairie will come out for you.

you brighten too many days for too many people to let anyone hurt you. you are a true shinning star in the northern sky.

I will admit up front that I am a TOW poster. I am not a current OW and am not proud of being a past OW, but I won't lie about who and what I was.

For the most part, I don't think that the BW that come to TOW are actually LOOKING to come in and make friends with the OW, nor are they looking to understand them.....at FIRST. Most come out of curiosity or to have their voice heard.

Somewhere along the line, many discover (much to the disagreement of your site) that they (OW) ARE human and that not all OW feel guiltless. Then they are intrigued and start to ask questions. Eventually, friendships may be formed. They're not trying to "fit in" as you put it.....more often than not they are trying to help a lot of OW see the reality of the situations and help them find their way out.

I for one am GLAD the some BW cross-post to TOW. They helped me more than I could ever say when I was struggling to get out of my situation.

As you will note, I asked a general question here, and yes, JustTheWife was the one that prompted the question, but I certainly had no intention of describing her antics here, which included some very odd and inappropriate posts elsewhere. But to the makeup of some cheater boards. Yes, I do think that most of the people who post on a board for cheaters are worthy of approbation and excoriation. Doesn't take long to read, say, the board set up for Other Women to see cheaters laugh about having sex in the marital bed, hoping to get pregnant with MM's baby, laughing about the ugly wife, laughing about how they are fooling their husbands, getting tips on excuses to make to fool everyone, how to get MM to leave his wife and family with justifications, carrying on with a MM while the wife is pregnant or has small children or cancer, and even hoping that the wife dies.

I DO think that the people who frequent those boards are disgusting and yes, immoral, although I will refrain here from using any derogatory terms. What's more, it seems highly ironic that anyone from here, who is dealing with a huge amount of pain due to love ones sneaking around behind their back, would even want to associate with those who are actively cheating and plotting how best to do it amongst their peers. I refer NOT to those who have stopped, I see no reason to hold cheating against people forever, but those who are DOING IT NOW. Isn't it a little like hanging out with thieves after your house has been broken into and all your belongings stolen.

Yes, there is one board on SA that is clearly marked lampoon and vent, and on that board some of the members really go to town making fun of the posts that are not made up, but come directly from cheater's mouths. A lot of the original posts are disgusting and some members are also free with the rank terms they use, but as Pearlie said, seems to me that it's, at the least, on a level with the source, and at most, may wake up a few people who don't realize that there are support boards on the internet for cheaters.

Phoenixx - first post, huh?

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Phoenixx:
<strong>Somewhere along the line, many discover (much to the disagreement of your site) that they (OW) ARE human and that not all OW feel guiltless. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Well, you're uninformed.

Most former OWs who post ere are anything but guiltless. The guiltless ones seem to be those who haven't awaken and get support elsewhere for their sorry state. aka pond scum.

I realized after I wrote it that I made a mistake in not identifying which poster I was speaking to. Sorry for that. I was referring to the ScarletA site when I said "your site"....not to MB. Please accept my apologies.

JTW:

Hm... I don't know much about those "other sites", but I have enjoyed your posts here since I came on board in Feb.

I think you're a pretty nifty human being. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Thank you Phoenixx for your reply.

You're right. I went out of curiosity, and was kind of irked, really irked by what I saw. The moment in time glance.

There really isn't any fitting in to do. I have stuff in common with some of the people just like I do here. I don't post to the threads where I don't identify with the situation, most of those I don't read.

The thread I have there now is about how my little one fell and had to get stitches on Saturday. Just Mom stuff. Other Moms answered about their kids various bumps and scars, suggested stuff, gave hugs.

E

2long,

Thanks! If I tossed all my good material on one site it might overload the server - so I figure that I should share the wealth...

You're not so bad yourself. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

E

JTW,

And thank YOU for being you. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> You are a wonderful addition to any site you are on. You are a remarkable woman!

I only posted on this thread here because your situation and what happened. I think it's best that I go back to lurkdom here. This isn't my sandbox to build castles in, even though I am more in support of the BW than the OW.

You all have my best wishes and may you find eternal happiness.

Who moved the rock? Dac, I also post at gloryb as tornintexas. I for one could not care one bit less if I tried will all my might what YOU think about me. It affects my life ZERO.

Get over yourself. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" />

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">wonder what the rationale is? </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Perhaps it is less about fitting in. and more about UNDERSTANDING the WHOLE picture.

In going to TOW, I have become able to stop demonizing OW and start to see her as 'justaperson' which, ironically, is the username she posted to me as last summer when she came attacking.

My hope and desire is that she will be UNIMPORTANT AND INSIGNIFICANT to me... and, DAC, it is working...

for me.

I have read JTWs posts on both boards and found her sense of humor and content very consistent... she is who she is... and it is refreshing to 'know' someone who can be themselves...

I, unfortunately, found myself having to become a split 'personality' because I burned too many bridges there when I went in anger. Now I post little... more in answer to Qs or when some poster gets my dander up...

Cali

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Dac:
<strong>...wonder what the rationale is?</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">What makes you think they need to explain their rationale for anything they do?

Dac

I too post on Gloryb. My user name there is Tiger.

Thank you for being so judgemental about me and other members of TOW. You really know very little about what goes on there.

I paid a visit to your site. I really can't believe that women (or maybe you're all just little girls, according to your postings,) would spend so much time gossiping about things that people are talking about on another site. What do you get out of that? It's not like one or two posts. I gotta hand it to you tho. You are very current on your post's. Heck, I think you are talking about it within 10 seconds of the original posting.

I have come to the conclusion, just because someone is involved in an A does not make them any less of a person. I would much rather spend time on their board than read immature gossip.

Your site is sad.

Well hello Dac, I'm scum of the earth...Nice?? to meet you?

I only have a couple of things to say. One, if it weren't for kind hearted souls willing to give me a second chance even after I'd acted badly and continued to remain "foggy" I might not be happy, FAITHFULLY, married today. Pepperband was one of those kind souls. She made me feel good about coming out of the fog and encouraged me even when I was fighting growth. JTW has that same spirit and I'm so glad she hangs around to help.

The second thing is that I also have been around many boards. I hear terrible things from WS's and OW...and I've heard terribly inappropriate things from BS's too. People are people and when in pain will say horrible things sometimes. What's interesting to me is how you can justify treating ANYONE the same way?? OW are usually painfully lost souls in a hugely conflicting situation. I can guarantee you that attacking them won't bring their heads out of their butts...but guidance and compassion can. And to "lampoon" JTW?? That's really a poor judgment call in my opinion and MORE disgusting to me than from someone who is clearly "lost". You know better...or you're no more emotionally mature than those you berate.

JTW, I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this on top of every other injustice life has dealt you. H and I are going to be up in WI for CHEESEDAYS in September! You wouldnt' happen to be going would you???