Thank you to all. Nerlycrzy, I thank you for helping me understand his need for details. Your example helped me, thank you. He did not bring it up last night, did not ask any questions. I am fully prepared to tell him whatever he wants to know when he brings it up again. He "has a strong feeling" I had an affair, that's all he usually says. More a comment than a question. I am supposed to say "yes, you are right, I did", right then and there? How about this: How about when he says that again, I ask if we can go somewhere to talk or set up a time later in the evening when it is quieter or is that also cruel? I don't want to torture him, I love him, I don't want him to think it was worse than it was, because it really wasn't that bad, not good, but not sexual, and not a long affair by any means, more a wake-up call for me which I paid attention to. I feel so stupid and immature about this whole thing. Again, thank you to everybody, I will give him the respect he deserves and be honest when he is ready for the information, though it hurts my chest just thinking about that.

SocalGrl,

You are very brave and I admire your resolve to do the right thing. And you are doing the right thing. One quick suggestion that I would make is to assure him right up front that you didn't sleep with this him. That is always the greatest fear with a man, whereas, with a betrayed woman it is always, 'did you love her!' Anyway, we will all be pulling for you!

Melodylane, thank you thank you thank you! That is what I need, specific advice like yours. That will be the absolute FIRST thing to come out of my mouth.