Cathy,
I am not tired of speaking with you. I was trying to give you an example of how to handle the confusing talk or babble that a WS can give.
For me, I knew that I could not control my H even if his life was in jeporady. But I could confuse his thought pattern to the point where he would be forced (of sorts) to use his brain to try and make heads or tails of my responses. This in turn helped him think which assisted in bringing back some of his lost sanity.
While the WS does not like to think about the BS during the A, if the BS can get the WS to 'wonder' about them a bit, then it may help clear some of the fog in their heads. No guarantees, just a technique.
I think you are actually trying to hard to fix your H and that is frustrating you. If you don't get a handle on this, your anxiety attacks will continue and may even increase. This is not healthy for you. So you need to find a good way to put yourself back in control of you and then be able to lend him a helping hand. Even if that means detaching yourself from him and letting him carry some of his own A stress. (kinda like a plan B). You need to be emotionally strong enough to plan B but it is not as hard as many think, nor is it the end of the marriage.
Ok? Step back and Breathe Cathy....... I know how you are feeling. I was in the same predicament last year. I would not want to see you suffer more than I did.
I suggested you get other's viewpoints because that will give you more options. Not to push you off. OK? <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />
take care,
L.
