2/4/2001 D-day several OM’s, WW was raped by Father from 0 - 13 years she is sexually promiscuous and an extreme over-spender
3/2001 enter counseling no response from WW due to spiritual problems
5/2001 Oldest Daughter returns home from Grandmas due to WW nagging and begging
5/2001 WW is caught calling OM’s
6/2001 WW leaves because she is confronted with her latest EA’s possibly PA’s Plan B 2 days
6/2001 WW comes back after finding God through me, but faith is weak and trust is weaker both ways
6/2001 new counselor specialist with victims of sexual abuse
7/2001 counselor calls for my forgiveness and trust of WW
7/2001 neighbors know our business and pry
8/2001 It’s all a good recovery
9/2001 Bankruptcy looms
11/2001 Oldest daughter is screwing up failing school and trying drugs
11/2001 Van is repo’ed
12/2001 poor Christmas, bankruptcy looms
1/2002 Bachelorette party goes bad with WW acting suspiciously while away but no obvious EA or PA
2/2002 I am fired and WW is diagnosed with spinal tumor
2/2002 no job prospects
3/2002 no job prospects
4/2002 tumor is removed and no cancer, no job prospects
5/2002 bankruptcy is final, no job prospects
5/2002 Oldest daughter is going very very bad and leaves house threatening family etc.
6/2002 Neighbors begin lot line crisis/fight, no job prospects
7/2002 WW is finally fully recovered from major surgery
7/2002 other neighbors practically start fistfight with me (I walk away)
7/2002 I decide to turn a new leaf and really try a lot harder
8/2002 bankruptcy is hurting job search
8/2002 WW decides she has no feelings for me and loves me still takes a week at her Mom’s. I ask for forgiveness for not trusting WW and punishing her for affair.
8/2002 gives mixed signals and stays out all night (first time) until 8:30 AM after returning home
8/2002 WW decides on Divorce
48 hours ago I learn of apparent 2 week EA by WW. I had to pull it out of her. Tears and negotiations for Divorce begin. This morning my Pastor and my Counselor convince me that divorce may be premature. I own ALL of my bad behavior of the last 1 ½ years. Job prospects are good. WW best friend is sick of lies and spills the beans about PA’s and EA’s in 8/2001 and 1/2002 with OM whom was supposed to be just a fling but is very important to her. WW had 17 year old niece lying for her and hiding numbers for her for years. All my suspicions have come true. Divorce is the final solution.

By the way all of her affairs have been old men (46) or young kids (18). All so she could control them. Her latest and apparently greatest is a Forty something geezer with a mid-life crisis "cool car" and a swank love shack apartment over-looking the best lake in the city. All big bucks, but she don't seem to have much money since this well went dry.

How do i file?
I think it will be amicable 50-50 split
How do I not get screwed by this Playa" again?

I am under the care of my very cool pastor who is a sex abuse survivor and a wise wise man.

WW will continue to seek counseling help etc.

Kids are being talked to as best we can. No counseling for them due to no money. We will see what the church can do.

By the way I grew up in one of those garbage houses with all the crap inside and the dumpster outside on the 6 O'clock news. The house is kinda like me, but I'm OK and cleaning up fast.

I really need legal advice so that i don't lose my kids.

I'm not so sure this will be amicable. Pastor and I confronted WW yesterday about her recent EA's. Counselor and Pastor and me and WW went to session and discussed recent EA's and everything. WW now realizes that her childhood abuse still affects her greatly but she won't change right away.

She has asked for a separation and custody of the kids. I won't agree to more than 50% custody and a 50% split of assets. sam_hazzard@hotmail.com

Hi Sam,

I am sorry to read of the events. They certainly stacked up and are all serious. Looking back there you have progressed.

Do you feel you are at a point where you have defined your boundaries? If so are you ready to implement them?

Remember that right now you may have enough to ensure more custody of your children. Your W may not be stable enough to provide a safe environment.

The A makes the WS want to control everything. The BS needs to learn not to fall into the WS control trap at the expense of the family.

It is good that you are getting support. Let them help you as much as you can. Support can come from many places, even our children.

take care,

L.

Hi Orchid,

Good to hear from someone whos been around through all this.

Yes my boundaries are set, if I can just get WW out of the house. She won't leave and she always pesters me and tries to control me. I want her out. I want no contact, unless it's about the kids and its very important. I am a weak man, but I'm OK in Jesus.

I grew up out of a bizarre and very discouraging "garbage house" (literally a house filled with junk and garbage) and got myself through the best Business School in my State.

I want to clean up this mess and maybe write a book.

Now I need legal direction on a super low budget.

Hi Sam,

Well legal advice I can't give (only opinions) but you can check out places like legal and divorce websites and learn about your rights.

Even ask here or on the D/D site for info about your state. You may find some help there.

As for making the ww move out. Well, howz about finding a place for her? Like her parents? A friend? Someone else who knows her so that she can go an convince them that her way of having an A is better than working on a marriage. Since you can't be convinced of this, maybe she needs to be around those who can.

The ends some Ws' go through to convince others that they are not having an A (Wat's wife comes to mind as such an example).

The result though it that most people don't buy of on that line of baloney. So you are not alone in your assessment.

L.

Well the latest is that she may be on Amitryptilene 50MG This is after refusing an anti depressant from her therapist and the prescription was filled during one of our "good" periods. I know what the drug is, but I wonder if she is a druggie. She took my 5 year old son to an amusement park with the boyfriend then came home and told me she maby wouldn't see him again.

She is tryin to play me for a fool.

I set two appointments with Lawyers today hope I'm not too late.