Some of you have been following my posts. I have been doing plan A with my XW and minimizing LB's. Until about 10 days ago my XW had been "running" into me places and keeping me in the loop.

This week she has totally gone with the OM she has been having an affair with and lives with across the street. She says she is in love with him and has found her happiness in him and for me to let her go, that she is in the past, and to be happy with my new girlfriend.

We brokeoff all contact as of yesterday and I send an email to the OM letting him know how much I love my XW and that I will have no more contact with her. I also told him that if she showed up at my door tomorrow or 3 months from now or 6 months from now I would welcome her with open arms.

Now my XW has him totally covinced that I have been following her, emailling her incessantly, calling her at work, etc. He is in love and doesn't believe anything except what he says. I have numerous witnesses that have seen her track me down and admit it.

She called me yesterday after the no contact deal and I got her off the phone as quickly as possible. This time she told me she is just surviving and living one day at a time.

My girlfriend who has basically fallen in love with me and knows everything called my XW this morning. She let my XW know how much I do love my XW and if my XW knew that. They had a very pleasant conversation, but my XW advised my girlfriend not have a relationship with me and said I was violent. Most people who know both of us can't believe I didn't kill her years ago. I laid a finger on her one time in February 1997. When she gets into a rage I would just leave anyway I could. She also told my girlfriend how happy and in love she was and that she was where she wants to be. She wished us happiness together. I haven't kept anything from my girlfriend.

I went home to talk to my girlfriend and comfort her. She was fine with everything. While I was their the XW called and I didn't answer. When I went to leave she was at my front door. She was obviously hurting and I told her not to worry about that someday we will be friends and everything will be all right. She said I think poorly of her. I told her I don't which is the truth. Then she said don't treat that kid (my 21 year old girlfriend) as badly as you treated me. I told her I didn't treat you badly. Then she said don't treat that kid the way you treated my kid. I haven't figured that last one out yet. She literally ran away crying.

I came back in and told my girlfriend what happened and she told me my XW was messing with my head. The XW has been doing stuff like this all summer and claiming I'm harassing her. My gets home then and tells me my XW is walking down the street. When I go to leave my XW is running past my house right up to her door. The XW never runs or exercises. My brother told me she had walked to the end of the street and was coming back. When she saw me she started running.

I went to work and she left me a message there to call her. I didn't. She has called me twice more without leaving a message.

Is she totally in love and happy? Maybe. Does she hate me? Probably. For my part I will not have any contact with her.

Can I ask? How fair are you being to your girlfriend? You are divorced...you are seeing someone else...and you're calling the other man and telling him you still love your wife. If you DO still love your wife, you have NO BUSINESS using your girlfriend to fill the time in between. That's pretty cold.

If you want your marriage back...let your girlfriend go free and get yourself a plan. If you are ready to move on ad your nic says...then DO THAT. As it is you are just assuring your WW that you're still there for her...which has proven itself to be the exact OPPOSITE effect on a WS that you're trying to achieve.

I have to agree with hope4future. You are divorced, your ex knows that you will take her back with open arms, you girlfriend knows this.
This obviously isn't fair to new girlfriend and I'm sure you are aware of this.
I'm not against a big age differance as you get older, but do you realize that your new girlfriend just got out of high school a few years ago??? Just a thought I had....
Have you considered moving? Weather I was in love with my ex or not, I would find it too difficult to move on with my life with him living across the street.
It sounds like a continous game that you and your ex are playing-but it sounds that your ex is the initiator of it.How do you feel with her basically running your emotional life even though you are divorced?

Yes, it is an "unbelievable story"...unbelievable that your girlfriend (regardless of her age) is allowing herself to be used in such a fashion by her lover who has made it clear to her that he still loves his XW!

I know you've got it made, guy...but let her go...it is SO selfish and unfair. Sounds like if you're still hung up on XW across the street, it's time to move and get on with your new life....and not EVEN THINK of emotional involvement with another until your love feelings for your XW pass.

This whole scenario about your XW living across the street with the OM etc is not healthy for all concerned . The answer is very simple move away and get on with your life.

Dude,

Why in the world are you even speaking to your ex. If you love her that much let your girlfriend - she will go eventually but on more bitter terms.

Personnaly, I would treat an exspouse no better than any other dating prospect. Would see someone who is living thier significant other.

Please read your own screen name and make it real. Otherwise, your ex will be successful in making your life hell.