WH's # need is for an attractive spouse. Okay, I'm not that bad looking, but I would look much better if I could lose 15 or 20 pounds. I need to get motivated to do that. Can't join a healthclub cause there is no money right now for that.
Please give me some suggestions and motivation!
I am going to do this!!!
KK

K, I am doing exercise videos at home... it actually get s you feeling great to do a great aerobic or even yoga or stretching routine- I would be glad to work out with you. Also I want to play make up with you for free one day and let you play with new colors et c. and give yourself a beautiful look.... I have all the stuff to do it , just let me know! OK! I need to play for me too, and start looking more beautiful. Do your nails is aanother low cost beauty option, and if you have the money .... which I know you can handle 10 bucks or so.... get your brows waxed. INSTYLE mag says that is the easiest way to look well framed and polished, and it also makes you look like a movie star. Also maybe play with the wardrobe and dress more sexy if you can.... even walmart shopping has some sexy clothes - just add a few v cut blouses to the wardrobe. I even bought some push up bras at victorias and they do work! I havent worn them in a while , but hey I should!

Anyway, I too need work on this issue... we are both attractive ladies, but have been momed out for far too long! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />

Hugs to you, maybe I can see you today, will call you later. HONEY <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Honey,
Sounds GREAT!!! I'd love to have a makeover done!
Fun! WH and I might be going to a movie this afternoon! Good thing I'm in Plan A

ANYONE ELSE out there have suggestions on losing weight, looking more attractive?
I need all the help I can get.
KK

Hi KK!!! Honey has some great suggestions, especially the eyebrows. I got mine shaped and waxed about 6 years ago, to keep them up I just pluck a few strays here and there, it makes your face look slimmer!!

Have you tried any of the Firm Videos?? They literally kick you in the butt!!! I had a couple and was doing them for a while but it requires a special piece of equipment from the Firm called the Fanny Lifter. I just received my kit from the informercial,need to get started, not looking forward to it, but looking forward to the results. Get yourself some dumbbells if you don't have any.

Also, something that I have found that helped me get a little kick start was Xenadrine, it does contain ephedra, so that's your call. I personally have never had a problem with it, but always follow the recommended dosage. You may also want to check with you doctor to make sure its ok, doesnt interfere with any of your meds, etc!!

Do you remember the post that Hope4Future had about a month ago, before her and her husband's anniversary? There may be some good ideas in there too, I'll go try to find the link and come back and put it in.
heres the link: http://www.marriagebuilders.com/cgi-bin/ultimatebb.cgi?ubb=get_topic;f=37;t=019011;p=1

Also, black, black, did I say black lingerie. Even just wearing makes me feel a little sexier!!

<small>[ August 24, 2002, 09:16 AM: Message edited by: going_crazy ]</small>

Hi KK -- This is a big need for my WH. I was in amazing shape when we got married and I did not maintain it. In the past six months, I have started running again. If you can't run (and I couldn't very well when I first started back again), you can do a fast walk and weights at home program that is just as good as at the gym. I think the FIRM videos that someone else mentioned are good, but you can motivate yourself with other things (music) if you are not into videos.

I bought a small weight bench and some weights and get a good workout at home doing this plus push-ups. I walk, hike or run every day. It took a while to get back into the routine, but it's been worth it. I feel better and feel like I am accomplishing something every day.

The other quick make you feel beautiful idea is to replace your underwear with something fancy. I looked in my drawer after d-day and realized I had the frumpiest bunch of cotton underwear. You can cheaply get some new underwear at victoria's secret and it instantly makes you feel sexier.

Best of luck. It's hard, but once you get started on the exercise you will feel great and keep going. My WH noticed that I had lost weight toned up after about 2 months and comment on it a lot (in fact it is the only positive reinforcement I get from him these days).

kk,

I am 45 and I work out at home to the Firm tapes. They kick my butt! I have been doing them for 4 years now and am in the best shape of my adult life. I joined a health club recently and my body fat % is 19.6 [that of a female athlete] from doing these tapes and the Atkins diet.

If you want to start working at home, I would suggest starting out with a couple of Firm tapes, like Super Cardio Sculpt and Super Body Sculpt. Those are very effective beginner tapes. You can buy dumbbells fairly cheap at Walmart and can buy a step box later when you gain endurance. You will need 2lb, 5lb and 8 lb dumbbells. Anyway, I think these are the most effective and FUN tapes on the market. They are easy to stick to because they are so much fun. www.collagevideo.com

The second thing is that, depending on your age, exercise alone will not incur weight loss. I do not lose weight from working out. I have to stay on an effective diet. I cut out all junk food, all sugar and refined flour and lost 40 pounds. The exercise helped to tone me up but only contributes 20% to weight loss after age 35. All the rest comes from diet.

There is nothing like a 1/2 hour run about 3 or 4 times a week. Specailly if you can pick a scenic route and get a tan at the same time.

I just got the firm tapes too, and the fanny lifter... only worked out once with them, but plan to tnite or in the am.... thanks and lets go exercise! Honey

I bought those but haven't used them yet, the fanny lifter has turned into a tv table for YS <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Good luck,

KK,

I can so relate - I've been 100+ lbs overweight for most of my marriage. Gained it early & fast. I found that it kept my emotionally distant husband at bay physically, and I was using it to get back at him for not being my "prince charming". I knew that my weight was a problem, but was deep in denial.

It wasn't until his PA this past spring that I finally got the wake-up-call that I needed to do something. Whether or not we stayed together, I had been neglecting myself and had lost the "girly" part of me that loved looking nice.

I've lost over 50 lbs. since May - mostly by paying attention to what I eat and cutting portions. I also walk 1 mile 3-4x per week and find that doing so allows me to average a loss of at least one lb per week. I also joined our local YMCA, but like to be outside this time of year.

There are all kinds of other "pampering" things that I have started doing that I just didn't think mattered before -like acrylic nails, getting manicures/pedicures, tanning, haircolor, etc... a lot of this can be done at home with friends without spending alot of cash.

It's the little things that have made a huge difference and have brought my WH's eyes back to me - even while I am still overweight.

I started using Crest "White Strips" on my teeth,
I wear an ankle bracelet, toe rings, changed my makeup colors, started putting my hair up, (exposing ears/neck is great for getting hubby to nibble!) always wearing fragrance (not just on special occasions), waxing - eyebrows & lip, and keeping the rest of me "hair free" with Nair, dressing sexier (I used to wear business suits), got some silky pj's & push-up bras, lacy shirts, new underwear, etc...

All these changes have gotten me back in touch with the person I was years ago that I lost along the way. I am determined not to let her go again!

Good luck with your efforts - the most important thing in determining your success or failure will be your attitude. Stay positive! If I can do this, anybody can! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

Shelle

I used to go to the gym, but got tired of paying money to sweat publically.
Then I dicovered yoga stretches and combined them with some repeatitive isometrics and it actually speeded up my metabilism(I can eat what and when I want-as long as do yoga a couple of times a week.) And it toned me and firmed me up like no arobics ever did.It gives me time to clear my head and "unstress"-feel so good after!
I just do it for a few minutes-no sweating-really effortless after awhile.
From what I understand, the shoulder stand manipulates the pituitary gland, which somehow speeds up the metabilism.
Once a week I give myself a facial. A good one is in my frig. I wash my face, dry it very well and rub some miracle whip on(not too much). After a few minutes I rub it in a circular motion and wash off. It works better than any alpha-hydroxy tratment in the world. I don't like the deli smell though.

Dear Going Crazy,
Thanks for the post. The firm videos sound wonderful! I just need some self-discipline, can I buy that somewhere? I read that thread that Hope4Future had, and it was wonderful. I got a lot of good ideas from it. Yes, I will go out and buy black lingerie!

Unsureheart, I will run out tomorrow and buy some beautiful underwear! All I have is the cotton stuff from Walmart! My WH will enjoy that, but he will especially appreciate my exercise and toning up! Thanks for replying.

Hi Melody Lane!
I am going to try the firm videos, I believe. And how about that Atkins diet? Was it pretty easy to stick to? I have friends who have had a lot of luck on it. I'm anxious to get started!

Relate,
I love to walk, not sure about running, but I might give it a try, and i do need a tan, definitely!

Shelle Belle,
Wow, you had some terrific ideas! Thanks for sharing, that was so sweet of you to respond. My WH notices everything visual about me, so I think these things you suggested are just the ticket! I really want to try to brow waxing,

Ezra,
I have done yoga once before, and loved it. It made me feel so calm and relaxed, which is what I guess we could all use. I have heard of the mayo facial, I'll have to give it a try.
Thanks everyone for posting....I will have to do a before and after picture and post it!
KK

I think its time to have a MB "the Firm" support group!! I got my videos about 5 days ago but have not started, been too busy around the house, I know, excuses, but I worked my butt off all day long from 10AM-9PM, that has to count for something!!
Another thing, if you do order the kit from the Firm, make sure you tell them that is all you want, they asked about joining several programs of getting stuff everymonth and having them charge it to my credit card. I kept telling her not thanks, only want the kit. a couple of days after I rec'd my kit, I got 2 new videos in the mail saying they have been charged to my credit card account, so had call them, tell them I didn't want them, ship them back, ugghh!

Another thing, pamper those feet, paint those toenails a sexy color like red or something, and everytime you see your husband, make sure you are wearing some type of opentoed shoe to show your toenails off. Not much, but it looks good!!

KK,

Physical attractiveness is a big one for my H, too. I have to tell you though, WHATEVER you do, PLEASE be careful. There are all kinds of supplements and diets out there that will make you sick and the desire to recover lost feelings between you and your S can make you CRAZY! I was a week post-partum and D-day when I took up running... yes running 1 week after having a baby and getting my tubes tied. I just recently gave up (although not completely) the idea of breast implants. I didn't focus on exuding health and vitality... I was too worried about being "thin" and painted a very warped picture of beauty and sex appeal. Now I'm paying for it.

I admire everyone who gave you advice on exercise instead of those dangerous diets and supps.

Take care and good luck!

Danni

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by Danni C:
<strong>....WHATEVER you do, PLEASE be careful. There are all kinds of supplements and diets out there that will make you sick and the desire to recover lost feelings between you and your S can make you CRAZY!.... </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Danni is so right. Be careful and watch yourself closely. It's easy to "go off the deep end" on things after your life has been devastated by infidelity. I've mentioned parts of my story on this issue before on this board, so you may have read this. After D-Day #1 (OW#1) I needed to lose about 30+ lbs., and I'd let myself get downright frumpy. Well, I wanted to prove to myself and my FWH that I could be desirable and other men COULD want me. I lost 50+ lbs. very quickly and became "exercise obsessed". I'm 5'9" and weighed 113 lbs. The control I felt from not eating became an obsession. A size 2 was very baggy on me, and I looked sick. My parents were going to put me into the hospital if I didn't get better. The manager of the gym where I worked out every day (did stair machine at home every night, too) got to the point that he wouldn't let me work out unless I drank a protein shake. I was so stressed I ended up with fibromyalgia -- which I thought I deserved because when I got thin and started dressing like a slut I had an affair, too. What a total mess my life was. BTW, the affair did NOT make me feel better, and it did NOT make me feel vindicated. Just made me confused and sad. Stupid.

Anyway...all that rambling to say this. I agree with DanniC. Be careful how you handle this. I had to realize that my self worth is NOT based on what I look like, and my few extra pounds were not a justification for FWH to have an affair. I'm now at a normal size 8 weight, but I had to quit the gym and stop working out altogether for several years. My family never stopped praying for me, and I'm fully recovered now...tho my body is screwed up now and tends to hoard calories and fat, since I tried to starve it to death for so long (about 6 years). I can't eat "normal" portions now or I gain weight quickly.

Gosh, I sure have babbled about myself alot here. I just don't want anyone else to put themself thru what I've been thru. The ideas about sexy underwear and bras, painting nails, waxing, tanning, etc., are great. I even got a 2nd ear-piercing and had my belly button pierced. If you FEEL sexy, you will BE sexy! A smile also goes a LONG way!

Good luck, and God Bless YOU!

Lori

Hi,

sorry to hear that your H (like most others and mine... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Frown]" src="images/icons/frown.gif" /> ) are so much into this thin wife thing...

When I asked my H about the OW, the first thing he said was that she was thin. I had tried to loose my 15 post-pregnancy pounds on the Atkins/High protein/no carbohydrates diet. Had been doing it for a month and lost 4 pounds.

After d-day I had no more appetite and a lot of stress hormones circulating and I lost 15 pounds in one month. I was just to miserable to eat, but when I ate it was that high-protein/no carbs. I am a tall woman, bought size 6 pants yesterday and love to look like my old self again. Now my husband tells me I look like one of the Victoria's Secret models (so much for superficial men...)

My tip: reduce calorie intake and stop eating carbohydrates (bread, pasta, rice, sugar).

Good luck!

KK,

I was surprised to see how high attractive spouse was on my H's list!

Prior to d-day I had been walking 3 miles every 3-4 days.

Post d-day I began walking 3 miles every single day mainly because it was meditative for me. Whew I can't believe the difference it has made. I have a thyroid problem so very slow metabolism; and this has made a big difference!

Women especially comment all the time about how toned I look. They have said it looks like I have "rock-hard legs"!

I also think getting my heart rate up on a daily basis is good circulation for my skin particularly my face! That's where I've noticed the biggest difference. H comments all the time about how great I look.

I also go for a hair-cut more often, and in general take better care of myself because it feels good! CSue

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by kk2002:
<strong>
Hi Melody Lane!
I am going to try the firm videos, I believe. And how about that Atkins diet? Was it pretty easy to stick to? I have friends who have had a lot of luck on it. I'm anxious to get started!

KK</strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">KK,

Atkins has been the only diet I have ever been able to adhere to and I have been on it for almost 4 years. It's easy to stick with because its not a low calorie diet and you aren't hungry. I lost 40 pounds in 4 months and the side benefits have been normalized blood sugar levels, alleviation of long term mild depression, dramatic reduction in cholesterol and increased energy. My doctor is thrilled with the results.[so am I!]

When I try to cheat and eat some sugar or other junk food, I feel so tired and down again that I don't even want to cheat. Anyway, it has worked wonders for me and I have acheived a body fat % of 19.6 eating this way.

If you are interested in it, I strongly suggest buying the book. In the meantime you can read his website at: http://atkinscenter.com/

My wife went from a 7 to a 10. Granted she lost a lot of weight and I'm proud of her for sticking with it. But here is a list of things that made her more attractive to me:

Clothes that fit and flatter not baggy or too big,
Dresses up for me,
Wears my favorite outfits(the sexy ones),
Quit wearing plain white underwear,
Complains a lot less about how she looks,
Stands up straigt,
Dances through the house on occasion,
Puts a sway in her hips for my benefit,
When dressing or undressing and she notices me watching she'll take more time or give me a better view,
Wants me to look at her, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />
More willing to leave the lights on <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" />
Asks me to check for anything she missed after shaving,
Paints her toenails, <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

While the weight loss may have pushed her from a 7 to a 7.5, it was all the things listed above that make her a 10 <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />