YellowRose;

I found 2 books "When Love Dies", would you tell me which one you were talking about?

When Love Dies
by Karen Kayser

Editorial Reviews
From Book News, Inc.
Intended for family counselors and other therapists. The first section consists of analysis of interviews with 49 spouses who recount their feelings, thoughts, and actions as they fell out of love with their partners. The second section draws on data from a random sample survey to compare troubled spouses with nondisaffected spouses, exploring the factors of psychological well-being, commitment, attribution, and gender. Annotation copyright Book News, Inc. Portland, Or.

Book Info
Boston University, Massachusetts. Perspectives on Marriage and the Family Series. Research on the dissolution of marital affection, based on a random sample survey and in-depth interviews with 49 spouses. For marriage and family therapists.

When Love Dies - By Karen Kayser

and

When Love Dies: How To Save A Hopeless Marriage
by Judy Bodmer

Editorial Reviews
Book Description
When Love Dies is a refreshing, honest look at one woman's journey to the edge of divorce, her commitment to stay even though she didn't feel like it, and eventual rediscovery of the love that she thought died.

A Mans Perspective About This Book, December 31, 2001 Reviewer: Chris Johnston from Delaware, OH United States
My marriage is crumbling. Much of it is my fault. But despite my errors, I had made an effort to rekindle my relationship. Those actions fell on deaf ears. My wifes love had died. Literally.
I went to a Christian bookstore and saw this book. I picked it up and instantly knew it was a key to restoring my relationship. I gave to a counselor who my wife was seeing as I knew that if it came directly from me, it would be seen as poison. It never got in her hands after he read it and agreed it was a good book for her.
I bought another through [Amazon.com]. I gave it to my wife's sister who presented it to her. After several weeks, I understand my wife is reading it. Will it be a key to restoring my marriage. Only God knows. But I believe it will be a tool that will soften her heart and allow her to drop her walls just enough to know that I now understand what marriage is really about. This book described much of what my wife is experiencing about our marriage and how torn she is about it.
As a man, I never knew how women perceived our actions. As a man, I saw presented in this book things that were really a footprint of my life, yet my wife never knew about me.
I wept while reading this book, knowing it was a key and one of many that could bring us back together. Will it bring us back together. Again it's in God's hands.
Even if our situation fails, this book can and will open the hearts and souls of many women and allow them to avoid the heartbreak of divorce

When Love Dies: How To Save A Hopeless Marriage - By Judy Bodmer

<small>[ August 24, 2002, 07:25 PM: Message edited by: Spacecase ]</small>

Spacecase -

It is the one by Judy Bodmer...just reading the chapters on affairs...and the story about 'getting to marry your OP finally'...and what really happens after that...totally freaked me out...honestly...I continued my A after I read this book...but I had already had the doubts planted in me by this book...about the fact that I was probably never going to marry this 'soulmate' I had found...

The discussion about the impact on kids...was gut-wrenching...and although I was totally, head-over-heels in love with the OP at this time....underneath all of the fog...and the 'heat of the moment' feelings...I always loved my kids more...even though my actions would seem to indicate otherwise....I think I truly knew after I finished reading it..that ultimately I would never go through with marrying the OM..even if I did divorce....

I know this sounds odd...but I was mad after I read the book...I didn't want to think too deeply about what I was doing...and this book interfered with what I felt was my first chance at true happiness in my entire lifetime.

I don't even recognize the woman I became during my A....I don't like her.....and I pray to God I never sink that low again.

I wish all WS's could read this book..especially when they feel like most feelings are dead for the BS...so why bother trying...you know? Many WS's feel that they are doing the BS a 'favor' since they don't love them anymore..they figure "why would the BS want to stay with someone who doesn't love them?"....I'm talking about pursuing the divorce anyways...not a 'favor' by having an A. Sometimes..I wonder how many WS's have an A to ensure a divorce will come...almost like they are setting up the scenario so they can 'exit stage left'...and the BS will help them with a rapid exit (i.e. divorce).

It's a book well worth reading, in my opinion.

Best Regards,

YR

Spacecase:

One other thing...the opening chapter...it is totally eerie how much the woman..and how she describes her feelings..were exactly like mine...that was the first thing that got my attention...it was like "YES!! This is how I feel!!!".....things that I couldn't even put words to...and things that I had.

YR

Thanks YR; I think I'll get it. The other one sounds very interesting too, doesn't it?

Hope you're doing better today! Big HUG!!!

SC:

You know what, when I read your post about both books..I was thinking the exact same thing! I thought the other book sounded fascinating...

Thanks for the hug...I needed that <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

YR