I haven't posted in quite a while- much has happened recently:
WS and I have been separated for 2 years, daily contact, he has been saying he wants to come home for about a year
A has been off and on, but actual no contact has lasted 1 week at the most
WS was renting a house that he decided to give up- gave a 60 day notice in June, plan was to move back home
For the last year,OW was living with a nephew that wouldn't allow WS to come to his home- she built a house and moved in the end of May
About 3 weeks before WS was to move home,he decided he wanted a divorce and to be with OW- he told my 2 step-kids (S20, D17) to find a place to stay for a while after they moved out of their house
About a week before their move, he started talking agin about moving home, told the kids that he was going to stay with his mother for a while, but would eventually end up here at home
Step-kids both asked to move in here- I agreed
So- WS and I have 2 kids that have been with me throughout- D12 and S8, now also have S20 and D17
WS showed up on a Saturday night, 3 days after they moved out of the house- he had been staying with his mother- anyway, said that he had ended it with OW, set up no contact, told her that he was not getting a divorce- no discussion of him moving back here on this night
The next day, with no warning, he shows up here with all of his clothes- told the kids that he was home, he was living here now and that this was his family and where he wanted to be
I let him stay- big mistake
Things were fine on Sunday and Monday, Tuesday, he was a little moody but still affectionate with me, Wednesday he was a little more moody and withdrawn, Thursday he decided he had to talk to her- returned home talking divorce again, moved his stuf out the next day, staying with his mother
The last mention of divorce was 2 weeks ago- he was pressuring me to fill out the papers- I told him to do his part first, get them back to me- I would fill out my part and get them back to him-His car is in my name and due to debts that he has racked up while separated, he can't get a loan to put the car in his name. There are several home repairs that need to be done that he agreed to do a long time ago. I have told him that I wouldn't sign any D papers until the car was not in my name and the repairs were made.
He hasn't mentioned it again and as far as I know has not done anything with the car
We are still seeing each other daily, but for short periods of time- he is spending most of his time at OWs house- kids, especially 17 year old daughter are giving him a hard time about how little time he has spent with them.
So, my questions-
Can you plan B in this situation- when he has said he wants a D?
If so, the typical letter talks about talking about our future after he has ended his A, what would mine say?
If plan B is possible, we have some stumbling blocks-
20 year old step-son has a race car that is here now, WS helps him work on the car
WS is working on a car for 17 year old step-daughter- motor has to be rebuilt- it is here and will take about 2 to 3 weeks
D12 and S8 both do not want to spend time with WS unless he is here- they absolutely do not want to spend time at his mother's- since WS moved back out, OW has been very possessive- he has to check in constantly and she does not want him here at all, so he's mostly hiding it from her
And- also need suggestions- should I force the kids to spend time with him at his mother's house? He has no money so taking them places probably won't happen
What a mess!!!!!
Open for suggestions
