I've been reading surviving the affair, very good book. I was reading about stopping all contact with lover. What if the ex lover has a child by H
how do you handle that situation the book so far doesn't discuss those issues.

<small>[ August 25, 2002, 01:27 PM: Message edited by: MALC ]</small>

There is another forum here that deals with OC's, your questioned would best be asked there!!

Does your H accept this child as his?

Dawn <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

TO Day
thank you.

Hi, MALC,

In my situation I'm the OW/BS, who conceived a child by my exlover.

My husband and I decided to stay together, work on our marriage and raise this child as though he were my husband's. I have had no contact with my exlover since my 4th month of pregnancy.

My son is now 8 months old and our policy of no contact seems to be working out fine. Exlover seems to want to be as far away from me as I desire to be from him so at least we are in agreement about that.

I must admit that at times I have wondered if no contact was the best way to go. But what finally convinced me is reading all of the discussion threads on these boards by those who do have contact and all of the problems and conflicts that seem to go with it.

We've even decided against asking for financial support (even though we could use it) for fear that it might open us up to visitation, etc.

Bottom line is that my husband and I feel that the less distractions the better and we can give our son much more stability this way.

Sorry, used the wrong initials for my description - I'm the OW/WS...

To NPLH

Thank you for responding, I wish it was like that on this end. My H has visitation for now with his OC by exOW.

ExOW just recently married some one else. OW was having affair on My H so he left her. They live in different states from each other.

My H and I come from up North, Ow is from the South were she lives now. It shouldn't be that much of a problem I hope.