After having an affair of 10 months with a female client, I am preparing to return to my W of 5 years, with her 7. Wife discovered it 2 months ago. I feel deep emotional attachment to my lover, very strong sexual relationship. My lover is divorced with 2 children 11 and 13. I have no children. I filed for divorce for second time (my wife filed 2 years ago but backed down). We have had a hard marriage, always in counseling. My wife refuses to give up up and sign the divorce paper. My mind was made up a month ago to go ahead with the divorce. I have been influnced lately to end the affair and return to my wife. Although my lover and I have made plans to build a new life together, I have been feeling the futility of starting this relationship from a poor foundation, how her kids could be affected, and how it is best for me to try to work things out with my wife. I am in love with my lover, its so hard to know if I am making the right choice in giving her up. She makes me feel so good, like I have never felt. I am trying to realize how this whole thing is a reflection of myself and my behavior. I hope to make the choice that is most helpful and least hurtful to all involved. I would never want anyone to go through this. I feel so sad to leave my lover, she is so kind, but I think I have to. Im sorry. I hate myself.

Please DO NOT return to your W under these circumstances. Forgive me for saying this but your pain pales in comparison to what your W has felt after you betrayal. She does not deserve to get 1/2 a husband. Right now your feelings are even betraying your lover. You are in no shape to be in a serious relationship. The best thing would be for you to end both relationships and get into counseling because you definetely have some issues that need to be dealt with.

Good luck and God bless.

If THIS statement is true:

"I hate myself"

... then just what is it **exactly** you are offering either of these women? You are offering them something (yourself) that YOU hate ! Not much of a gift really ... when you think about it this way.

Even if you "make a choice" to give up your W or your OP ... you'll still have to live with yourself ... the guy you hate.

Better seek some good therapy .... any relationship involving someone as self-hating as you are is destined to fail. It does not matter which woman you choose .... YOU are in no shape to love anyone else until you get some personal strength back.

(((HUGS)))

Pepper <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />