Hi. So far so good.

As you recall, I layed things on the line for my WH about what need to be done if our marriage was to survive. He still has not told me A is over however swears there is no physical attraction anymore. Again, he needs to see her through her D. Poor Thing <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

Anyway, my WH has been very attentive to myself and even my S who he hasn't spoken to in about 4 months. WH has planned a weekend away in October for me and him as well as a Disney vacation for the family. I do not trust him! Although I think this is a genuine effort, I worry that this a smoke screen so he cam continue his thing on the side. And, although my kids begged me to give him another chance, I am detacted enough from him that I refuse to let this go on status quo forever. I have a lot to offer and I know someone will find me a great catch even if he doesn't.

What do you think? Oh and by the way to all those who have the OW stalking them, mine went to my D's soccer game and plopped herself down right in front of my WH and myself and proceeded to cheer for my D. My tongue was bloody by the time I left the game but I took the high road. I really hurt to see her there but the look of utter shame on my WH face made it worth while.

I have a personal rule:

If someone offers me a Disney vacation ... I make them the happiest person alive .... by accepting their offer ! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> And .... I make sure they have the time-of-their-life .... so I get a second, and a third invitation ! LOL!

Who says you have to trust him to go to on a Disney vacation?

Is this your rule RN : "I will only have fun with you if and when I trust you again." ?????

RN, YOU'VE got to be different to get different results.

Pepper <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

<small>[ August 26, 2002, 08:32 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

I guess your right Pepperband. Who cares what his motives are. He is taking ME not OW. And again I can't control him only me. It is like I want to over analyze everything!

(((RN)))

Feelings follow actions ......

"Who cares what his motives are?"

That's right! If his motives are less than what you *wish* they were ....SO WHAT ? His feelings (motives) may very well change by doing the action HAVING FUN FUN FUN together...... and YOUR feelings (distrust) may very well change via your actions (letting go of this worry what his motives are) .... <img border="0" title="" alt="[Razz]" src="images/icons/tongue.gif" />

Doesn't this "sound like a plan"? And, even if your worst fears are realized ... he goes back with OW .... YOU GOT A DAMN DISNEY VACATION WITH YOUR FAMILY !!!!!!!

Life is short ..... grab all the "Disney" you can !

Pep <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />

<small>[ August 26, 2002, 09:20 AM: Message edited by: Pepperband ]</small>

RNR:

And remember, when you're having fun with your H, that you're "in this for you!" This life is YOURS, the universe itself is YOURS. You make it what you want it to be.

Reminds me of a verse out of a Moody Blues song: "And when you stop and think about it, you won't believe it's true, that all the love you've been giving, has all been meant for you."

Just simply being able to take charge of my OWN feelings this past month has enabled me to see, and bring out more of, the love my W has to give. It's very fun. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" />

I need that. Thanks to you both!

I just had a very difficult conversation with my mother-in-law. She so wants us to work it out and so do my kids. It is so hard being indifferent and care for yourself when your whole life the focus has been others. I need to do for me but I feel so selfish. I also feel so bad that WH mother thinks more of me than him. How sad.

I really need to distance myself from him and take these good distractions as an open opportunity to make the most of a great day for me and my kids.

I so want to be happy again. I am tired of being hurt and sad. Been there done that.

You can decide to be happy .... at any distance.

You can decide to be happy under harsh circumstances.

Your attitude is your choice. You don't need to distance yourself from him to change your attitude .... just park your attitude where you want it to be.

"When your whole life the focus has been on others" ....

this is just wrong:
focus whole life on others = un-selfish (NOT)

Pepper <img border="0" title="" alt="[Cool]" src="images/icons/cool.gif" />