Old Thread: Old Sad Tiger Thread

Update:

Someone (not me of course) sent OM a virus to his work computer. He was 'worried' that he was going to get fired. WW asked me if I did it. 'No, of course not,' was my answer. I asked her what my biggest problem with OM has been, and she said, 'something about character.' 'Exactly,' I said, 'bad character.' I told her that it would be an example of bad character and hypocritical to deliberately send him a virus. (Not to mention a Federal Felony.) I reassured her that he probably wouldn't get fired over something like that, unless he somehow brought the virus in himself. That was nearly 2 weeks ago.

I sometimes take WW to work in the mornings and pick her up after work. I have been noticing that OM's car has not been there lately. I called his voice mail at work, and his message has not changed since Monday of last week. (He used to change it every day. I have called from time to time after hours.) I have also noticed that WW does not seem as melancholy right after work as she has been. Today, I asked her if I could talk to her for a minute about our situation. I obviously had been suspecting that he left the company, so I asked her to tell me the truth, did OM get fired? To my surprise, she tells me that he quit. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Eek!]" src="images/icons/shocked.gif" /> Well, well... She said she was going to tell me about his leaving soon.

I couldn't get too much detailed information from her, no specific conversations, but apparantly he told her that he was leaving the company because it was getting to be 'too much.' I asked her what that meant, and she said that they gave him alot of grief about the virus, as well as her not being with him. (He is 'in love' <img border="0" title="" alt="[Roll Eyes]" src="images/icons/rolleyes.gif" /> with her, you see...)

In Dallas right now, you are a fool to quit your job. Only 1 in 10 companies are planning to have new hires for the rest of the year. My guess is that he was given the choice to quit or be fired, probably over the virus. (Maybe over the A, since I think WWs boss was getting wise to it.) He seems to have played it up to her like he was leaving because he could not have her and couldn't stand seeing her every day. Could be, but I doubt it.

Anyway, she told me that they still have feelings for each other, but that I am number one with her! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" /> She said that if she didn't love me so much, she would have already left. <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> <img border="0" alt="[Teary]" title="" src="graemlins/teary.gif" /> <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> She said that I have so much more potential than him, especially since he had now left their company, and has very little in the way of job prospects. She wants to try to work it out with me! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Big Grin]" src="images/icons/grin.gif" />

I am sure proud of myself that I did NOTHING whatsoever to him to interfere or get revenge. I have spent lots of spare time thinking of nifty ways to get him, but I never did anything. I knew the problem was with me and my WW, not really with him. I was going to call up his ex, call up the court that has held him in contempt, call his parents, call his boss, stalk him, pop his tires, put paint remover on his car, etc... It was fun to think about, but I ultimately wanted the A to end on its own, and for him to self-destruct without my 'help.'

So, I guess the plan is to continue in my strong Plan A for now. She is trying to work it out with me, but I wouldn't call it Recovery yet. I will not push for NC at this time, since he has pretty much removed himself from the picture. WW is in some withdrawal, but she is not dumping on me, and she is in a pretty good mood most of the time. Hopefully, time and distance will help her gain a more objective perspective on what happened.

Any comments or suggestions from you lovely MB people would be appreciated!

Thanks!

(Not So) Sad Tiger

Good stuff, Tiger. Looks like you're back in the game. Well done with that Virus! (just kidding)

Sad Tiger,

NC is a must ... plus monitoring it. I learned about my WW's EA 5 years before I found out the same OM is coming back strong w/ PA. You know your W, you know when to push it. I just want to warn you to make sure NC and all necessary monitoring are in place. Don't buy "trust" and "control" ... if W don't have anything to hide then she should agree. Give her the SAA book and show her the chapter about how A should end.

Good job -RH-

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Good stuff, Tiger. Looks like you're back in the game. Well done with that Virus! (just kidding)</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Thanks Nick...

Not funny about the virus!! <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="images/icons/wink.gif" /> That is some serious stuff. The worst thing I did to OM was THINK about doing evil things to him!

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">NC is a must ... plus monitoring it.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Yes redhat, I agree. NC must eventually be agreed to before true recovery can begin. I do believe that now we can move down the road towards recovery a little more than before. You see, I think OM may have just taken care of NC for us. I did ask her to tell me if she contacts him, or he contacts her. She agreed to that.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I learned about my WW's EA 5 years before I found out the same OM is coming back strong w/ PA.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ouch! I'm sorry about that. You know, from now on, now that I am behaving like I should have from the beginning of the marriage, the only real threat would be from this particular OM. I will definately keep my eyes and ears open.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">You know your W, you know when to push it. I just want to warn you to make sure NC and all necessary monitoring are in place. Don't buy "trust" and "control" ... </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Right. I cannot push it now, but I definately hear you on this point. I will give her as much time to withdraw as she needs. I will never stop monitoring, but I will not control her either. I have learned to walk that thin line. I have learned not to have *blind* trust in her either, but I trust her very much, even now.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">if W don't have anything to hide then she should agree. Give her the SAA book and show her the chapter about how A should end.</font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">She actually found a handwritten (by me) copy of the NC letter from SAA, modified to fit us. I had not intended for her to see it until she was ready for NC. She was a bit miffed, and called the 'cruel indulgence' part insulting. I think it got the point across to her that I was serious about NC. She has started HNHN. I will let her see SAA down the road a bit.

Thanks for your comments!

ST