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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 984
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Joined: Jul 2002
Posts: 984 |
After a very difficult day and many, many telephone calls w/ WH, he decided to come home, cut off contact with OW, and work on our marriage. We will both continue in our IC and joint C, as well. We both have really good C's - a husband/wife team and I was thrilled to hear his C, who is also acting as our MC, say that Marriage Builders is excellent!! So much so, that I found WS cruising the site last night <img border="0" title="" alt="[Smile]" src="images/icons/smile.gif" /> So, out of Plan B I come and back into Plan A. He has made commitments to me and, for my part, I am going to continue working on improving myself - not just for WS and our marriage, but for ME.
I have learned alot about myself over the last several months - some of which I did not like and want to improve upon. I have been making efforts to change. He says he has not noticed, but I guess he is remembering the old me, so he does not notice these efforts. Hopefully, in time, he will!
For now, I am cautiously optimistic and very hopeful.
Brit's Brat
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 840
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 840 |
Certainly encouraging. The fact that your husband is ready to face the issues and work them out is v good, indeed. HOWEVER, I hate to say this, don't get your hopes too high. Alcoholics have extreme mood-swings - when he is in a "down" phase, how will he react, what will he say then? Step one remains that he MUST dry out. Not for you, not for the kid, but primarely FOR HIMSELF. He will lose self respect, self esteem, work, friends, EVERYTHING if he doesnt break the vicious circle of alcohol dependency. During this phase he will need your help and support. Help him. But dont try to solve all the relationship issues at the same time - take it step by step, with AA or something at the start.
Nick
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 2,868
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Joined: Mar 2002
Posts: 2,868 |
BB, good to hear that! I'm happy that he seems to be "getting the drift".
2 questions: what about the drinking? Did he/will he commit to AA?
How will you ensure that NC is maintained? What happens if SHE calls/contacts him?
Remember my offer if you should need it.
Stay strong and guide him to respect your boundaries.
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