After numerous lies and manipulations my XW has at least begun to wake up a little. I really did think my XW was happy as she was telling me and taking care of herself.

My new girlfriend shocked her into reality and my XW opened up. The problem was when the XW opened up I realised 3 things: 1: My heart is still with my XW; 2: If she came back both feet first I would take her; 3: Their is a decent chance she will want to come back.

Knowing this I knew I could not be with someone else and I have cut things off with my girlfriend. It would not be fair to continue a relationship I would toss aside for my XW.

My XW and I have spoken 3 out of the last 4 days and I think she is really starting to understand me.

I know I have done the right thing by my girlfriend, my XW and myself. Ironically the OM is helping immensely. I have been totally honest with my XW and mutual friends. The OM has been lying about me and telling my XW I have been saying things I have not. The truth has started to come out and my XW realises I have not been lying.

The OM has been LB'ing big time with ultimatums. I have made a point not to push my XW or give her ultimatums. I know I am enabling the A for now, but I am 90% sure the A will be ending soon anyway. I think showing her love, patience and giving her the opportunity to make up her own mind is more important. She is supposed to go see family for a week to figure out what she wants and what is right for her. The OM can't understand why she isn't going on vacation with him and doesn't know the real reason. I'm totally in support of her. I think it is what she needs.

I hope my XW can figure out what is right for her and what she truly wants. I hope her path lies with me, but above all that I want her to be on the path that is right for her.

I do want to stack the deck in my favor as much as possible. I do not comment on the OM at all and concentrate just on my XW and I when we talk. She does say she loves me and she is thinking about coming back.

Does anybody have any magic words?

No real magic words, but I wanted to say I think you are doing great.

You seem to have a wonderful plan with not mentioning OM and being concerned about her. You are genuine and she will see this. What ever path lies ahead, at least it looks like it will give closure in all this. I hope and pray that things go well for the both of you. Keep up the good work, and keep us posted.

P.S. You have done the right thing with your GF. Also, I aplaud you for being honest and upfront with her from the start, and I'm sure she appreciates that as well. My best to you. Take care.

Thanks Princess. Your reply brought tears to my eyes.

My FGF is a really great woman and I had no problems with her or us. It was all me.

After finding MB and applying the principles I feel like I have a lot of control over a future relationship now. It is like having a powerful weapon which can be used to do good or evil.

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">I think showing her love, patience and giving her the opportunity to make up her own mind is more important. </font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Ding ding ding ding!! We have a winner here!!
You have described Plan A in one sentence.

You are doing great MOwL!

ST

A little update.

The XW left yesterday to visit family. I thought she was going to leave over the weekend, but she did say she might leave on Thursday. The OM was not at work or home Thursday and I was convinced he went with her even though she said he wasn't.

I actually worked through it and managed to get a full nights sleep last night. I realised two things: 1: The OM really wasn't supposed to go and 2: It didn't really matter.

I planned on calling my XW to tell her it was okay that he went and that it didn't make any difference so she will have a clearer head for deciding what she was going to do. I was really okay with it.

It turns out the OM did not go and my XW left early on her own. I called her dad to make sure she got their all right. I told him to tell her I love her and I hope she as a good time. He said most decisively that he surely would.

The moral of this is to have a some faith and trust in what you do know. I know my XW loves me and I know she is considering coming back.

If the OM insisted on going their isn't much she could do to stop him without telling him the real reason for going.

I leave for a 3-day canoe trip today. My XW will not be with the OM for a week. I think my XW is either going to come back or move to where her family is about 8 hours away. If she moves away I plan on being a regular visitor if she wants me ;-)