Here we go...
I don't think I will ever love or trust another person the way I once trusted and loved you. You were my everything. You never realized that.

I acknowledge the hurt that I have inflicted on you and am deeply troubled by its long lasting effect on your personality.

I know what I ask of you by ending contact with your confidant. You must be deeply hurt and troubled by this dilema. Your inablity to break it off has made me wonder if maybe it would be easier to break it off with me. There is no doubt that you care for me and love the life we've created together. But, the anger you hold in your heart for me may enable you to have no contact with me to foster a relationship with her or to make the decission to be alone.

I want our marriage only if we are exclusive. Me & You. I want you to tell me I am beautiful not because I am but because you love me that much that you can overlook my flaws. I don't want material things, I want your heart, all of it or at least 1/2 for me and 1/2 for the kids. I want you to talk with me not at me. I want to know you share your kiss with no one.

I prepared the children to this possibility. They understand that this is my decission because I can no longer tolerate the relationship. They understand that because of my health and principles that I need to take a step towards healing the hurt. The situation goes against all we have tried to teach our children about trust, honesty and respect for the people you love. It has taught them to follow your heart. They do not like what I am doing but they too are sick of the waiting game and want to move on.

I can no longer bear the look of utter despare and sadness on your face. I canno longer hear that when I express my feelings I tear the scabs on your heart and make a deeper scar. It is time for us both to heal.

Thanks for input.

This is pretty harsh RNR, I think maybe you should soften it, make it less accusatory, and let him know you have hope for the future.
MHO, of course.

Thanks Space...

I guess I know it is harsh but I am not sure we will ever have a future. This last incident has really fixed me. I told him me or her. I truely cannot live another day like this. He kisses her and because he got caught he comes home and tells me he loves me and kisses me. It makes my skin crawl and it finally sunk in that this has been going on a long time. I am so sick to my stomach. I can't bear him to touch me. It is like a hormonal high school guy juggling 3 girlfriends to see who will put out first.

I want it to be over. I am physically sick as well as emotionally. The anti depressant doesn't work anymore. He is trying but I fear it will never be enough. I must finally take a stand. He will not change and has no intention of getting off the fence.

I feel lost and alone but am sure I need a break from him even if it is the end.