I feel that my W may have a therapist that is not really helping our situation. My wife has had an emotional affair and is now saying that the reason for leaving me is verbal abuse. While I admit and take ownership of some VA, it is not as bad as my W is saying. I feel that she may be using VA as an excuse to justify her affair. I would like to contact her therapist to tell my side of the story. Thoughts?

<small>[ September 04, 2002, 03:02 PM: Message edited by: AD ]</small>

Thanks AD,

I guess I am just feeling that my wife is twisting her reason for leaving me into being all my fault. I realize that life is not fair and this does seem unfair. I have heard her explain her affair and she treats it very lightly.

I want you to be clear that I do take full responsibility for my actions and I am not thinking that I was not all that bad nor that I am free of fault. I know that my actions had very real consequences. In fact I am in counseling and reading every book I can find to correct myself. I am committed to change but my W is not accepting of that right now. I just feel that my W is acting very hastily and trying to end our marriage too quickly and at a time when she may not be thinking clearly. I think she is still in the post-EA fog.

I realize talking to her C is problomatic. I have asked my W, and she has given the OK to talk to the C but the C has said no. I feel that the C has not explored those things in our marriage that have worked. I feel that it is easy to focus on the negative instead of the positive and that is exactly what my W is doing.

I guess what I am really hoping for is that my wife gets out of this fog and realizes what she is doing. I know that I can't do it for her but it is really frustrating.

I just need some advice on what to do now.

<small>[ September 04, 2002, 03:03 PM: Message edited by: AD ]</small>