I have not acted as of yet about the ultimatum I gave my WH the other night...No contact or no me even though I love and cherish you, I would rather have you happy than live like this...more or less.

Today I was concerned about enlarged lymph nodes in neck and groin. I have been having night sweats but brushed them off on imense stress. I finally got concerned enough to ask one of the docs fully expecting them to say it was nothing to which I was floor...Why didn't you come to me sooner. You are a nurse you should know. You can't ignore youself forever. Needless to say I am very scared.

My immediate response was to call WH for support. He said why would you call me on the phone to tell me this. I felt so stupid but I felt compelled to call. Maybe I am to critical. How would I feel if he told me such news? Anyway, I feel more alone than before and I do not want this info to affect his decission to pursue his happiness which ultimately will affect my happiness because I can finally move on.

Where do I turn? How can I undo the mistake I made in calling him? What else could possibly happen?