I decided to start a new post to respond to your questions from my previous one.
hfs,
As far as how quickly a D proceeds, that depends on how quickly one of the parties wants it. My W filed 10 months ago, and except for custody mediation 3 months ago, our upcoming court date is the first step she (or her lawyer) has taken.
I know that usually the BS goes to plan B while an A is ongoing, but in my case I believe my W's EA is over (who knows for sure). I plan on going to plan B (with Steve's encouragement) for the following reasons:
1. It gives me a chance to clearly state that I still want my marriage and believe in it
2. Since I moved out 6 weeks ago, my W has continued to call me on a regular basis for many reasons, with questions, problems around the house or because she needs a favor. Most of the calls are unnecessary. I cannot continue to have her rely on me like a H when she has made it clear she doesn't want me as her H. It makes me feel used and taken for granted.
3. I will make it clear to her that it is too painful to remain a part of her life under these circumstances, and that is the reason I've been so detatched or aloof since I moved out.
4. Continuing to plan A at this point will only serve to "wean" her through the D, thus making it easier for her while tearing me up inside.
5. Since she wants this D and me out of her life, while wait until we're divorced for her to see what that's like.
6. Most importantly, it removes me from a painful situation.
Most of the issues that have to be taken care of regarding the D can be handled through our lawyers. There is really no reason for us to have any contact except for our daughter. That's how it will be when we're divorced.
nick123,
To answer your questions, I'm only as involved with the D process as I need to be to protect my own interests. I am leaving all the steps up to her at this point until it is what I want to do. However, I will not prolong things either. Once things really get rolling, I won't hold her back. The more I do, the more she'll want out.
Hope that covers everything. Thanks!
sad dad
