Sorry about the double post, computer froze up. How do I get myself out of the rut I am in? I know there are so many things I need to do for myself and my kids. I am trying so hard to stay upbeat and not let this drag me down, but I need to do some things I can't seem to get myself to do. Like get a new job, stop thinking about where this is all leading, take care of my Mom, and a host of other things. I just don't have any desire to do more that just the normal everyday routine. And most of the time I don't even want to do that, the only thing that really keeps me going is that I'm the only parent now to my children.
I have great friends and family support from both IL's and my family. Why doesn't this seem to help? But, even they have there limit as to how many times they can here me question and cry about the same things over and over.
I don't want to be a wimp, but, sometimes I wish I could just curl up in bed and have someone take care of me. I miss having someone to share my life with. And it makes it even harder because I know that WH does have someone to share and go to.
Please help if you have been here (pretty sure you have) and got out of it.

ME 42
WH 43
OW 25 from Romania, worked with H
Married 24 yrs.
3D's 14, 20, 23
1S 12
D-Day Feb 02
Husband moved out of state Jan 02
Now with OP, moved to USA to be with him in Aug.
WH wants divorce

<small>[ September 03, 2002, 03:52 PM: Message edited by: uteconf footballwidow ]</small>

Hi Uteconfootballwidow..I sure know what you mean. I am basically doing the normal routine, and it is hard. My kids told me the other day, Mom , you just dont want to do anything fun anymore. Fun just doesnt seem to be on the top of my list. My whole day is consumed of thinking about this nasty situation. I know this is probably the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my life, and i guess you feel the same. As far as getting a job, i need to do that do. But what kind of shape would i be in being at work when i am consumed with this nitemare. I dont know how far into this you are, D-Day for me was around middle of July, so about 8 weeks. I think my friends are getting tired of me talking about this too. You mentioned your mom, (taking care of her), my dad is in a nursing home and he is 90, he misses me visiting him and is failing cause i am not there very much. When i go there, it just depresses me so much, i can hardly wait to get out of there. When i get to the car , I am in tears, it is just way too much to handle together. I am a stay at home mom, and i always enjoyed it, puddering around the house etc. etc. The only thing i can suggest is maybee start small , maybee tackle a small job around the house that you always wanted to do. Going for a walk every day is great, it helps your thinking. When i first found out about all this , i went shopping, but my Visa took a beating, so that plan soon ended. Just start small, I know how you feel, cause i am there too,A/C0810 PS.Read your situation at the bottom of your post, so disregard what i said about not knowing your situation..Take Care

Thanks A/C,
You and I have very similar situations. I too was a stay at home mom for most of 24 yrs. I do have a part time job. But, now I need full-time with benefits. I am so scared, don't have any training. I did go to work force services in my town, they said they might be able to help. You might try that too. I think we can go to school and get help too. It just all seems so overwhelming
I am so sorry to hear you are so early into this. I have to encourage you though, even though I still think of this 24-7 it isn't as bad.
I know the feeling of talking your friends and family to death. But it is almost like you want to tell everyone over and over all the painful hurt and questions in your mind.
Sorry about your father, I think he is lucky to have you care. My H left his parents in bad shape for me and his sister to worry about. My Mom is younger but doesn't drive. Don't feel bad about being unable to handle anything, we can TRY and that is all.
How old are your kids? My kids haven't said too much to me, but I can see in their eyes that they worry about me, especially my son. It is hard to believe that you and I will ever be back to normal, but I think we will be. Maybe even better and stronger.
If you ever want to vent just get ahold of me. I know it is strange that this posting stuff helps, but I have felt better getting things out.
Please know you are not alone, we will make it through no matter what the outcome, and we will always be able to look back and hold our heads high, something I can't say for our WS.
Take care, I will pray for you.
S

</font><blockquote><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">quote:</font><hr /><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">Originally posted by uteconf footballwidow:
<strong>How do I get myself out of the rut I am in? I know there are so many things I need to do for myself and my kids. I am trying so hard to stay upbeat and not let this drag me down, but I need to do some things I can't seem to get myself to do. </strong></font><hr /></blockquote><font size="2" face="Verdana, Arial">It really isn't failure to go to a dr. and explain that to him/her and ask for anti-depressant meds. You've just had your legs kicked out from under you (emotionally); it's okay to need crutches until you heal.

Mere

Thanks Mere,
I have really been thinking about that but have put it off, thinking things would get better. I have always been in good health so don't even have a regular doctor. Maybe it is time to find one. Do the anti's really help? I want to face this head on, but it is overwhelming.
Thanks
S-