Are "gut" feelings right most of the time? I have been told that a lot of times what your gut is telling you is more then likely true. My gut right now with being in Plan B for two months is telling me my wife is no longer having an affair with that man she originally started with. I think that has come and gone and just died off. However my gut is telling me there is someone else (new) in the picture and this is the reason that my wife is just a cold person towards me.
What is your view on "gut" feelings? Has it been true and accurate for you?

Yes, it's funny how that works sometimes.

Obviously it's not scientific, but I can think of many personal examples.

I think of my current situation... I had seen my WW not too long ago, and although she was being quite nice to me, there was a strange feeling. She got a phone call from her friend while I was there, and she acted strange - said my name to her friend, as if the friend had asked "Who's over there?" Hmmm.... That and other things... Just too fishy.

You could speculate C_G, but in the end, it comes down to what would you do even if you knew? Would it change anything for you? If not, then best to let it go... it'll only eat you up needlessly.

CG,

My own personal belief is that your instinct and gut feelings act as a "spiritual" guide in your life. It's almost as if this were your true inner self speaking to the outer shell that is protecting you from whatever situation you are dealing with.

I believe that a people ignore these spiritual signals because acknowledging the message means that change has to happen. That is too painful and scary for people so they stay in the doubt and fear mode.

I know that once you decide to trust yourself, you gain confidence in the situation. There is a sense of relief too, because you are taking control of your decisions and not relying on someone else to guide your thoughts and views.

I hope it helps and that I've expressed my point clearly. It's hard to say exactly what it is that I'm trying to convey.

Keep Smiling and Trust in yourself......

Actually it is very scientific. The mind has 3 parts to itself two of which are the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. Take our view for instance. We generally focus on one fractionth of our total viewing area, the information from which the conscious mind records. But there is so much going on in the other area of our view. The subconscious mind stores information from there. Similarly with our hearing, we focus on one voice while the information from the rest of the voices and sounds are stored in the subconsious mind. It records all the information from someone's body language, smell, tone of voice etc. while we are concentrating consciously on his eyes.

When we need to make a decision we base the decision on the information we are aware of in the conscious mind. The sub-conscious mind, in the mean time, uses all the myriads of information stored in it to give us the sixth sense or the gut feeling.

- relate

<small>[ September 04, 2002, 09:15 AM: Message edited by: relate ]</small>

I am indifferent. I think you have to go with your gut however, I think in the altered state we are in, whether you want to admit it or not, we tend to fabricate some additional facts that otherwise would not enter your mind. And not that we have been conditioned to think that way.

For example, I found phone cards. My gut feeling was that they were bought to call her. I was right! However, my imagination told me WH used them on our vacation to call her. Wrong! After I calmed myself down and called to see if they had been used, there were no minutes used. That's why I do not snoop anymore. Although I find out information, my imagination fills in the blanks and I end up more upset.

I go with my gut. Something is wrong or WH is cold today that's it. But I no longer think it has to do with me or her. If I wait and see, I usually find out and deal with it at that point.
Sometimes it is work or the kids or something like he is sick.

WH will lie, cheat and deceive if he does not want me to know so, I save myself the aggrivation.

Just my 2 cents.

I posted this exact, same question back in May. May 8, I think it was. My gut was always right, and I still listen to it. Things were going okay in our recovery for a while, and then I would get a "gut feeling" that something was going on. I was right every time. That's just my experience!
KK

It has been my experience through this journey that my gut has always been right. It's still hard to make myself listen to it though when it tells me something I don't want to hear.

I think in situations such as we are all in, it comes as much from knowing our spouses so well. We instinctively "read" them.

I don't recommend jumping to conclusions based on your gut though. You do need to explore and/or investigate to confirm them before you act.

My gut feelings were never wrong, once I woke to there had to be something going on.

I can tell something's going on when my husband gets 'pumped up'. He goes in cycles. When he is down, I know nothing is going on. But then when he gets motivated and charged, I know he is going to go do something stupid. I'm always right. It's actually easier when he is down. That's how my gut knows.

My gut feeling has been right 6 out of 6 times. I wish I was WRONG each time. Not that your "gut feeling" will precisely tell you what's wrong but that "something's wrong". I also feel that the longer a couple is married, the easier they are to read and we sense those things better.

In your case cg, your wife could be cold to you because she is resentful that her A is now off and she is hurt by it, OR there are problems with her OM that she is trying to deal with.

I don't think 'gut feelings' are like a divining rod and show us what we seek. I think they are a warning to us that something isn't right. They aren't specific as to what is wrong, they are just a 'head's up'...there is something not quite right. I trust my 'gut feelings'/intuition.

<small>[ September 04, 2002, 02:12 PM: Message edited by: mgm ]</small>